<p>How would you deal with a friend who has problems with hurting themselves? I don't know their parents well enough to tell them. And I personally don't think they would help either. Not that they are bad people but yelling probably won't help things. They tell me about all their problems and I try to help and I think I stop any serious issues, but I wonder if It's good enough. I think I can keep doing this whole bring-it-back-to-center kind of thing, but I'm not sure if I am really helping. Sometimes I think if I don't answer a text this person might get really depressed. It happened once and I've felt guilt ridden since. The person didn't do anything, but the fact that something could have happened scares me. I'm always there to pick the person up, but I always worry that sometime I won't. I don't want to involve the parents, or the school because they would in turn involve the parents. I just don't know what to do. Should I talk to their other friends about it? I know this person has told other people, on my advice, but I don't think it was as in depth as me. I could really use some advice and you guys are really all I have. Please.</p>
<p>Mkay so someone should really respond because I just got confirmation that this person hurts themselves. Frequently. And they compared it to a high off of drugs. Please.</p>
<p>what do you think is the source of his or her problems? my bias is to think talking to the person 1 on 1, not conspiring with their friends to help the person, is potentially better…</p>
<p>Low self esteem. Too much pressure. Raging hormones. Typical teenager things that some people can’t handle. And I tried talking in person a few times but the person was never as open as in a text.</p>
<p>There are several different options, but none of them will guarantee that your friend will be helped the way he needs to be. You will need to assess which of the options seems like the best because unfortunately (or fortunately?) your friend has entrusted you with his secrets and no one else. Before considering the options you need to understand one thing- YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS ALONE. In most cases, depression that extends to self-infliction cannot be cured without an eclectic approach or other psychiatric intervention. </p>
<p>Since you mentioned low self-esteem, I would suggest that the next time you both are chilling- you make him take the MBTI personality test. It will show your friend some of the strengths of his character and unless he is very fragile, I think seeing the weaknesses will make it much easier to understand himself as well. </p>
<p>I hope it goes okay, and there is no shame in having to involve the higher ups.</p>
<p>DO NOT have him take the MBTI test. This is coming from someone who was hospitalized with serious depression. The last thing this kid needs is to hear that something is wrong with him/her. DO NOT talk to his/her friends, because this is a deeply personal issue. </p>
<p>Since you don’t feel comfortable talking to the parents, talk to a teacher who you or he/she has a close relationship or the school guidance counselor ASAP. This can be done anonymously.</p>
<p>I don’t really have any new advice… one of my friends has been hospitalized thrice, been to multiple psychiatrists, and she’s still very depressed. She’s also called 911 on herself because no adult figure had taken her seriously.</p>
<p>Another of my friends was put on a “suicide watch” list by the school… 2 weeks later and everything was back to normal- no psychiatric intervention or anything.</p>
<p>3rd scenario, I actually went ahead and told a friend’s parents anyway, and she later thanked me for doing so even though her parents basically watched her every move (to the point of locking up knives, pens, etc.) afterward- she honestly thought nobody cared about her, so she was glad that I did it. & frankly, her parents didn’t know me well either… on top of despising my existence.</p>
<p>Anyway, the point of all this is to say that it’s really a case-by-case basis and really depends on the person you’re dealing, their parents, and the school system. Is it possible that that person has a teacher they feel they can talk to? Obviously teachers are mandated reporters, but if your friend feels comfortable, it would probably be a good idea. Some (many? some?) schools have a school psychologist, so it may be worth looking into.</p>
<p>^good advice here.</p>
<p>Thank you :). I have much more experience with this topic than I’d like to…</p>
<p>I really don’t think this is something you should face alone. I’d say go for a counselor or a trustworthy teacher, because like everyone else has said, this is pretty serious. I’ve never personally dealt with this though, so I can’t give quality advice.</p>
<p>get your friend to start running. not competitively yet, as getting crushed would not be good for their self-esteem. </p>
<p>seriously, running is an activity that is fair, for the most part. you get out of it what you put in. your friend will at first simply enjoy the endorphins they normally get from hurting themselves. as they get better, they will start to give their running meaning. the more they work, the better they will get, and they will be happier. they will have something to look forward to. </p>
<p>I had a friend who was depressed, bordering on suicidal. I gave up about 6 weeks from my track training to start running with him, getting him pumped for it, keeping him going out every day, etc. within 6 weeks, he was a happier person. now, two years later, he is running a 4:15 mile and it is getting him substantial scholarship money. his grades are good again, and his life is back in order and better than ever. he is one of the happiest guys I know. when I see him these days, I find it hard to believe he was ready to kill himself only two years earlier.</p>
<p>You guys really helped a lot. I don’t think this person has a trusted teacher, but I do and I’m going to her on Monday. I thought I could be there for her, but I’m not enough. She needs her parents involved, but I don’t feel right telling them, especially since I’ve never met them. We have a school psychologist and maybe my teacher will send her there. I’m not sure. Thank you all very much. You’ve made me much less worried.</p>
<p>Good idea OP, I’m glad she will be getting help.</p>