How would you present overcoming a disability?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Would you include something about this? Or forget it?</p>

<p>My daughter has had an interesting life, sort of. Basically, she was hearing impaired. It was a structural thing. She had two different surgeries to correct it. By the time she started kindergarten, she was only mildly impaired. But, the school put her in special education for reading. They basically were not even trying to teach her reading. They informed me that she could not learn how to read and had to stay in special education because she won't be capable of learning how to read. At that point, she left the public school and home schooled. 5 years later, she returned to the public school, testing above 90th percentile in reading and was actually offered grade acceleration, something our local schools never do. She has excelled in areas that she was told she could never do.</p>

<p>SO, my question is....should she try to bring this information in to her applications? If so, how? Through essays or such? This is not her most passionate topic, but this might be the one that actually would interest admissions counselors, I think. What do you think?</p>

2

<p>Honestly, I wouldn’t. I don’t think it’s that relevant. I have a similar back story due to my own hearing impairment. My Catholic school tried to put me in to special ed because of it but my parents fought it and I was mainstreamed. Not sure a public school would have but I’ll never know. Even now, I’m still hearing impaired in both ears- enough that I lipread more than I actually hear people. But by the time it came to write essays for college, I had so much more I could write about than an annoyance. </p>

<p>I would write about what she’s passionate about. Written the wrong way, it could very easily come off as an excuse. Now, if she was passionate about other people in her situation, that would be different. For example, for some of my grad school essays I wrote about growing up in poverty in America and how that fueled a passion for helping underserved populations (wasn’t the main focus of my essay but it was a part).</p>

3

<p>i agree, I think admissions counselors would want to know more about what’s on her mind NOW–to her, I bet this seems like ancient history, though I agree as a parent, you must be understandably proud of all she’s achieved.</p>

<p>One of my kids overcame a very serious illness in middle school that left her unable to walk for a year…she did mention that in one of her essays–used it as a jumping off point about her determination and drive in tough situations, but she didn’t make the whole essay about that period of her life–talked more about how what she learned from the experience shaped the interests, passions and attitudes she has now.</p>

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<p>I agree also that it shouldn’t be included. I am not trying to downplay her accomplishments, however, at 5 years old, she was not the one who made decisions about her future, you were. You knew that she had the ability to read, and you chose to homeschool her, and clearly did so VERY successfully. </p>

<p>I see this as more of a mistake on the part of the schools, and parents who were wise enough to see the potential in their own child. It sounds like she has other things that she is very passionate about, so I would let her talk about those.</p>

5

<p>I think this backstory could make a good intro, but others are correct when they say that the content is too old to carry the full essay. It could work as a framing device for an essay where the overall message is, “I refuse to believe that anything is impossible.” Of course she’ll need other, more recent, examples to demonstrate that this early history has set the tone for her life. It might also make a good intro for an essay focused on her love of reading (assuming that she does love reading). “When I was five-years-old they said that I would never read…”</p>

6

<p>A common essay topic is “A Challenge I Have Faced.”
If your kid has to write on this topic, it is important that he/she not come across as a “victim”–avoid blaming others or self pity.
The student should show how HIS/HER plans, decisions, actions, perseverance, intelligence, etc. helped him/her face/overcome that challenge. It is best to write on a challenge faced recently–in high school–that would be more relevant to who he/she is today.</p>

7

<p>Is this what she WANTS to write about? Is this something that really shaped her world view, or her feelings about herself in a positive way? Is this her story? Her reference point? Her moment?</p>

<p>Because I don’t think any of us can confidently tell you one way or the other what she should or should not write about. If this is the essay she wants to write and one she writes well which gets biggest and tells the most about her, even now? She should write it.</p>

<p>If it is just somebody else’s idea? She should write something else.</p>

<p>The essay needs to be about her and not about somebody or something else.</p>

8

<p>When writing about a disability, you are walking a fine line between teetering off as “woe is me,” even though you might think that you are showing “look how much I acheived despite my disability.” </p>

<p>Probably a better way to consider doing this, is for her to write an essay about something that she wants to write about, and then towards the middle-to-end, include a sentence or two, showing that she is reading the lips of someone because she is hearing impaired, then continuing on with the essay. The reader will be surprised, possibly reawakened, and will realize that she has overcome this disability in a matter-of-fact way.</p>

9

<p>I guess I like YoHoYoHo’s idea. I would respectfully disagree with others who say not to mention it. If it was a big part of her early childhood and affected her, yet she overcame it, I think it makes a very inspiring story. But I also agree that if she doesn’t want to write about it, she shouldn’t. It should be her own decision.</p>

<p>My son mentioned his adhd and how he learned to channel it through chess, in a particular essay which was part of a scholarship application; he won the scholarship. It didn’t hurt him to mention the disability.</p>

10

<p>I read a lot of essays from students as well as letters of recommendation from teachers and employers. Whether this topic was the student’s idea or the parent’s idea, and whether one thinks that “overcoming a disability” is a good college essay topic, I think this particular hardship that was overcome as presented is problematic.</p>

<p>First, as others noted, it happened very early in the student’s life. But also, the OP indicated that the parents were told when the child was in kindergarten that she would not learn to read, and after deciding to home school the child, she developed the ability to read well. I doubt (and certainly hope) that the parents of such a young child would not have communicated to the child that teachers at her old school thought she would never learn to read. In the absence of that information,we don’t actually know what happened. Is this possibly a situation in which the school personnel who made this prediction were wrong, that the one-to-one learning in the home-schooling situation was superior to what the school would have offered, that the home-schooling teacher used different approaches to reading than were offered in the school, etc.? Since the child probably did not know in early elementary school about the prediction that she would not ever learn to read, this makes the situation different from most of the “overcoming a challenge” stories that tend to focus on the person’s own awareness of a problem or roadblock to overcome and how the person went about overcoming or coming to terms with a problem. </p>

<p>I think the topic could be approached in other ways, here are some hypothetical example: how her love of reading and goal of becoming a librarian or writer developed through her home-schooling experience (and the topic of her hearing issue or the school’s low expectations for her back in kindergarten might be fit in somehow), or how her appreciation of the creativity of her parents as homeschool teachers inspired her to be a teacher, or how her learning about how back in kindergarten her teacher had predicted she would never read inspired her own interest in entering the field of special education or becoming a lawyer who would focus on rights of children with special needs, etc. I made those examples up to illustrate how some aspect of a situation that occurred so long ago could be made more relevant to the student’s present and future and more focused on personal motivation and educational/career goals.</p>

11

<p>I would have her write about something else. My son stayed an extra year due to his disability, which he had to explain. I believe the common app has an area to do this. He did not write about his disability in his main essay, but explained it matter of fact in an additional essay.
It sounds like it happened so early in her elementary years, unless it has had a significant impact on her high school performance, I would not make it a main topic .</p>

12

<p>I would not make the essay about this, but she might want to fit it in depending on her eventual topic. For example, if she wants to be a teacher or lawyer or social worker, she might explain that her desire to advocate for others had its genesis in her personal experience. If she is discussing the necessity of getting past first impressions, she might relate her personal experience with teachers thinking she couldn’t learn to read.</p>

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<p>If it was a big part of her early childhood and affected her, yet she overcame it, I think it makes a very inspiring story. NOT picking on this quote, but it respresents one view.</p>

<p>The problem is that it’s a college app. A good challenge-topic tale can be a strong way to show the positives that this kid would bring to campus, but so often kids get mired in writing about when they were younger- and completely miss the chance to show what they offer today. </p>

<p>Also, it can be “telling,” when the point is “show, not tell.” If she has acquired perspective, a certain maturity and judgment, that’s what should show through. For the high school years, especially the last two. </p>

<p>Have the GC mention how great she is and discreetly note it’s despite the limited hearing. Your dau can also write a short, mature paragraph in Addl Info. But consider what the strongest “bang for her buck” is that she can get through the essay.</p>

14

<p>My D is deaf in one ear and is a music performance major but did not use it directly in her Undergrad essays or the ones she has now written for Grad school. She did mention it in passing by talking about all of the experiences she has had with private instruction and that one in particular who was her ‘idol’ (for lack of better word) is totally deaf and that she felft a special bond with this person. Other than that, it was not mentioned. Ironically though it was picked up by every school and she has been questioned about it, not meanly but asked to explain how she has overcome this. My D continuously downplays it and I am sure most of her college friends either dont know or have forgotten about it.</p>

15

<p>

I agree 100%. My son homeschooled, and I, as the GC, wrote a throwaway line about how he’d overcome his visual disability. But his essays were all him, and in fact, he wrote another essay about a project in his Additional Info section and never mentioned his disability at all.</p>

16

<p>I guess I am in the minority here. I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a school knowing that a student has overcome a serious challenge.</p>

17

<p>Sb- Would you feel that way if you were a hiring manager? I know it’s not exactly the same. But what one has become is important. What one brings to the table today. The challenges are the context or back story. Shouldn’t, imo, be the main focus.</p>

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<p>But we’re not hiring a manager. We’re talking about a student applying to colleges. Colleges do want to see students who are capable of being there but colleges also have disability offices because having a disability shouldn’t prevent a student from applying to, and attending, college.</p>

<p>And I never said it should be the main story. I simply said I wouldn’t be afraid to tell colleges.</p>

<p>My middle son is a type 1 diabetic. I think it will be important for him to communicate that to colleges at some point or on some level. It’s critical, IMO, that someone else is aware of his life threatening disease.</p>

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<p>The essay is a vehicle for a student to bring information about him/herself that is not conveyed in the application otherwise. It brings the application to life. This is something that your DD needs to decide. If she presents herself to others, that it’s an important thing n her life that she has this disability, she wants to share information about it, it’s a integral part of who she is, then by all means she should write about it. You don’t write about something like this in hopes of enhancing your chances for admissions to any program unless it is something of acute interest to the reader, or what a person feels is important that someone knows about him/her. </p>

<p>When my sons wrote their essays, some of the subjects and the writing made me cringe. Some of those essays came straight out of the books and articles saying that these are the topics that should NOT be in any college app essays. But the topics honestly answered the direct questions asked. The shining sports moment was one of my son’s favorite memories. The way human/mice antigens and immunotherapy is working is of great interest to another son. So as a mom, when I looked at the essays, I cringed, but what to do? They had a lot of other things that might be much more of interest to an admissions officer but absolutely no desire to put that info into an essay. My one son is a cancer survivor—but he tells noone of this and the idea of writing an essay on it was repugnant to him.</p>

<p>So in cases, like that , you write a note to the GC and teachers, those writing the refs and let them toot that horn, while you try to help a student take what is often a hackneyed essay topic and make it his own. That is who they are, after all. </p>

<p>If your DD wants to discuss this in her essay, then go for it. But be aware that the overcoming of a handicap is also considered a tired old essay subject because everyone who has some thing, anything of this sort, hopes that some extra consideration is given for it, and many such essays are written. So it’s not as though you are losing a golden opportunity if your DD does not choose to address this situation. If she does, it should be presented in a way that shows that she does extremely well and that the disability is not something that is causing her performance to be less than optimum. Particularly in highly selective schools, what is sought is someone who does extraordinarily well despite, not some reason why the student might not be doing well. That it is an excuse or reason for not doing is well, is not well received. </p>

<p>Again, I reiterate, that if it is important to HER, is on her mind as something that is an essence of her, then fine ,go to it. If it is, not, just a piece of useful info for the admissions officer, then so it should be featured. A mention by the GC or some brief statement as side in an essay rather than directly discussing this.</p>

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<p>In our family’s experience; my kid’s college counselor did include a brief, very non-specific note along the lines of “all she’s overcome or all she’s accomplished”. This issue hasn’t defined your kid.</p>