<p>I have to agree with everyone else. I myself know how hard I worked on my essay (it took 3 weeks, because I could never find a topic which fit me best plus I had more and more ideas to add) and I don't think it is right that someone else could take your idea away - that easily.</p>
<p>After two years with the same English teacher (AP Literature and AP Language) I would only give your essay about a 4/10. Why? I feel as if it is the basic, or the same, formulaique college essay. I, as well as my Lit/Lang teacher, am big on eye-catching openings, and you need to rework your openning. The way I see it is this - imagine being an adcom, reading essay after essay after essay, most of which drag on and on and on. You want something that will pop out at you, something that you will remember, something that will get you in.</p>
<p>Rework the opening, and try making it a bit more lively; it will do you well.</p>
<p>Hope that helped.</p>