<p>Thanks in advance for your time.
So,i have worked on my Commonapp essay and I'm in the final draft stage.Everyone who has read it says that it is very personal and beautifully-written but could use some help with the flow.Unfortunately,I'm an international student from Ghana currently in the States and my not-so computer literate parents(no offense intended, please;I love my parents!lol) who would do this for me aren't here to help me work this problem out.I'll be very glad if I could have surrogate parent(s) here help with my essay at this point.I'm really stressed out and stuck on the flow....</p>
<p>Counting on your help as parents.Please let me know and I will PM you the essay.
Thanks once again.</p>
<p>P.S-I used the term "not-so computer literate" because my parents have limited access to the Internet back in Ghana.I'm first-generation but my parents have fully supported me this far despite their low finances and inability to go beyond high school.Parents are gifts to the world!! :)</p>
<p>Ask your teachers, espeically English and creative writing, to review your essay. They should know how to edit and provide direct suggestions to the flow (if it is really a problem), they have read more college essays than any parent in this forum (unless that parent is a teacher or college admissions officer), already know you, and are more accessible. One self-editing technique that may help you figure out if the flow is a problem and how to fix it - read your essay out loud into a audio recorder (computer, phone, dictation unit, or gasp-tape!), then play it back and listen closely. Good luck.</p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with asking CC parents here to read your essay for flow, as some may volunteer and have time to help. Some are retired or professional writers or teachers themselves. It’s fine to ask both your current teachers AND CC parents for an essay review. </p>
<p>However, OP should read/scan the history of other CC posts (click under the screenname) to reassure yourself that the person who invites you to send your essay by PM has credibility and sounds trustworthy to you. You need to do this before sending off any draft into cyberspace, for the risk of “intellectual property theft.” (Someone else submits the same essay.) Obviously you don’t want your essay stolen by a person posing as a parent. Beware of someone with a low post count because you can’t read enough prior posts to verify what is their intention for offering to read your essay. If you are comfortable with the post history, it’s your choice to PM. I’m just saying, always be careful as the Internet is stilll…the Internet.</p>
<p>To add to the above poster’s suggestions for self-editing, I was once helped by a professor who taught me to get to final draft stage this way: “Use the ‘so what?’ test.” He explained: Go through every phrase and sentence of your text and ask yourself “so what?” If it can’t pass the test, (for example, the phrase or sentence does not add support to your main premise, give new insight related to it, revive the reader’s attention, etc) then it failed the ‘so what?’ test. It needs to be deleted or changed in some way until it matters. Sometimes students put in a whole paragraph, anecdote or example that illustrates…something else! That also fails the “so what” test. Maybe this idea will work for you, too.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the advice!Wow!!Those are really smart ideas.I’m definitely going to use the self-help strategies that you have suggested.
-Once again,thanks!</p>
<p>I want to express my heartfelt appreciation to all the parents here who helped me turn my essay into a masterpiece.How i wish could mention names …but i guess not everybody will be comfortable with that.So all i want to say is thank you all and may God shower his favor on your families this year and for the rest of your lives!! :)</p>
<p>You’re welcome, shadglore. Thrilled to hear you’ve now turned it into something you are proud to submit. Good luck and let us all know how it turns out!</p>
<p>@emeraldkity4.
Dunkwa-On-Offin in the Central region of Ghana?Thats where my maternal ties are tied to!!. The big rivers there are called Offin and Pra rivers and feed the country with a lot of alluvial gold and sea food.Anyway,I hope your daughter will visit again.Ghana is one of the most peaceful countries in Africa.The change in government is always done democratically and majority of the citizens are also hospitable. :)</p>
<p>Whoa!! Guess what…I just got into Cornell University,NY as a transfer on full funding!!!I want to thank you for all the help.God bless you!! I haven’t heard from other schools so for now,its Cornell!!</p>
<p>Another cause to celebrate with my wonderful parents here.I just got accepted into Tufts University in Massachusetts . So I now have Cornell and Tufts to decide on. I’m waiting on other schools and when all my decisions are in, I will need your help in making a final decision. Once again, thanks for everything especially those who send me messages to keep me motivated.God bless you all :)</p>