<p>I am a young, single mother currently in my last year of community college. I plan to apply to UCI, UCLA, and USC in November. My question is this...how do I successfully juggle school and parenting? (My son is 2 btw) Although most of you here are likely not students yourselves, I thought you could offer me advice nonetheless as I'm sure you all have juggled careers and other interests in addition to parenting. </p>
<p>Juggling community college, full-time employment, and parenting has been surprisingly smooth so far. But this is largely due to the fact that community college offers flexible hours, online classes, and less rigorous work than a university. I worry that the university setting may prove to be too much. However, I am determined to give it everything I've got because I firmly believe that completing my education will be the best investment I ever make for myself and my son. </p>
<p>So, back to my question. Does anyone have any tips for maintaining a balance between school and motherhood?</p>
<p>Make the most of any slivers of time in your schedule. Instead of thinking “I only have ten minutes,” think “I’ve got ten minutes!” Sometimes that ten minute sliver turns into 20. Always carry something with you that you can work on. Good luck!</p>
<p>I look forward to seeing some good answers to your question. The bottom line is that it’s difficult but possible, and you should be very proud for having the determination to get an education while being the parent of a two-year-old! You’re setting a wonderful example for your little one.</p>
<p>I returned to school as a single mom to earn a Ph.D. when my kids were 4 and 6 yo. I just considered school my “job” and gave it and my part-time jobs my full attention between 8:00am and 5:00pm. I spent the next three hours giving my undivided attention to my kids, then returned to my studies after they went to bed. It’s exhausting, but it worked. Weekends were devoted to my kids as much as possible. My kids turned out to be well-adjusted, happy people so perhaps those three hours/day during the week and hours during weekends of my undivided attention were enough to keep them confident that mommy loves them. Just be prepared to run on 3 to 6 hours of sleep everyday. I’m still trying to make up for the lack of sleep during those years!</p>
<p>Finding good, steady child care that will fit your schedule is key whether you are a working parent or a college parent. The balance issue is always stressful. Best to measure balance is by calibrating if your child is doing well and you are not falling into a heap on the floor crying after you put your child to bed. Take a schedule of classes that you can handle, don’t bite off more than you can chew those few extra months or year are small potatoes in terms of your child’s formative years. I like spdf’s advice, also, do as many errands and quick tasks during slilvers of time eg put a load of wash in as you go out the door, toss in the dryer when you get back. Make lists or keep a planner. Establish routines for your child’s bedtime, wake-up, eating etc. and your days so you have something familiar and comfortable. Keep food in the house so you aren’t getting out of class, picking up the kiddo and “looking for food.”</p>
<p>And talk to your advisor in college. They want diversity and want someone like you. They may know of some programs for childcare, etc., that would help you. Never be too proud to ask.</p>
<p>Do you plan to work part-time instead of full-time? What sort of financial aid would you qualify for? A good financial aid package might allow you to cut back the number of hours you need to work. If you will need to continue to work full-time, you may want to consider taking part-time classes. I’m guessing that each of the schools you are looking at also offer extension and online classes similar to what you have been doing, so you may want to check into those programs. This is frequently the route that many nontraditional, returning students, or working adults with families take since they offer the same kind of flexibility that you now have. It would obviously extend the time it takes to graduate but that might be a necessary compromise in your situation.</p>
<p>There can be a fair amount of flexibility in your schedule at the universities, which will allow more juggling opportunity, depending on your major. You can decide when to take a heavier loaded quarter vs a quarter with a lighter load, choose courses based on the days and times you really need to be in class, and sometimes choose courses where you can do most of the work outside of class. A lot of the commuter students, of which there are many at the UCs, employ these techniques to, for example, only need to commute to campus 3 days/wk or to allow more time to be able to work longer hours if need be. Also, some majors, for example some liberal arts majors, tend to require a lot less time in total required units and in homework time vs majors like computer science and engineering for example.</p>
<p>One of the advantages to the larger campuses you mentioned is that they tend to offer a wide array of majors and have more options for class scheduling - sometimes offering multiple timeslots (and profs) for the same course. </p>
<p>The most important thing, in my opinion, is that high quality childcare is available on the campus and that current students have priority. Not only will this make your life far less stressful, it shows that the university just not just talk about being welcoming to students who are also parents.</p>
<p>Before you decide where to attend, ask to speak to other single parents in your program. Some programs are great about that, some are just okay and, sadly, a few are downright hostile to students with children. The only people that will know for sure are other parents.</p>
<p>Please do not underestimate the rigors of your community college. I am taking CC courses and am finding them very rigorous. If you are doing well at the CC level, then you will probably do well at the BA level.</p>
<p>My mother went thru the second half of college and all of grad school as a divorced mother of two. From the child’s pov, it was hectic, by never really out of control. She banded together with two or three others in similar situations. We often had extra kids with us or were picked up by their mom-- in other words, they covered for each other, acting as emergency childcare and whatever else was needed.</p>
<p>I remember one year when my mother was totally overwhelmed-- I was maybe 5, when we had no Christmas tree up or presents wrapped on Christmas Eve. My mother’s friends (2 other divorced grad students with kids) showed up, put up the tree and made a christmas dinner for her while she was working a night shift. Having friends with the same issues seem to make thinks more managable.</p>
<p>Post or look for a program that matches you with a student who is looking for room and board, in exchange for 20 hours of childcare/and/or light housekeeping duties. This way, your 2 y o has a consistent childcare person, and you will be psychologically free to pursue your studies. </p>
<p>Its tiring, doing homework between 8–sleep, but doable. That 2 y o will grow up fast, and will give you so much joy.</p>
<p>Two places to look for a consistent childcare giver is the Education College and the Music School at whatever U you go to. Look for a young woman who is learning to be a teacher to younger children. I found a music ed major who was great with my kids when I had a night class one semester. She was caring and sweet and sang beautifully!</p>
<p>As long as you are enjoying all aspects of your life, you will be fine. If you get frustrated, then adjustments are needed. I have gone to college for different fields and various degrees for about 20 years in addition to full time professional job and raising a kid. I had fun, loved taking classes, loved my job and of course my family. But I was married. My advice is if it gets too much, get married.</p>
<p>Take advantage of resources at the university. For example, if you miss a class, some schools in CA post lectures as podcasts on iTunes U or other outlets or there are often notes available to purchase for many courses soon after a lecture. Look into the various student organizations, a student/mom group might be available and may provide needed support. I don’t know, but the universities mentioned probably have sizable child development departments that may be able to help and may actually operate on campus daycare (a college I worked at did so). And as has been suggested, be sure to see an advisor/counselor, and do so often.</p>