<p>So as the title states, I am curious on what you guys think when someone that you seldomly talk to either IMs you, fb you or call you (or thru any other method) to ask you to do something for them...like drive them somewhere they need to go to, help with whatever class and others....just like a favor that you can't do without getting off your butt.</p>
<p>I personally see that as using people because someone that I never really talk to is asking me to do something for him/her out of the blue. I see it as like "So you have never IM me to chat and catch up but yet you would IM me because you need my help in something." Thing about me is that I don't mind helping people on small things but then when someone I haven't really talk to asks me for help, my immediate thought is "I got better things to do...ask someone else." I guess what I am saying is that I would much rather help someone that I am close to or have been keeping in contact but if those people asks for way too many favors out of me (like drive me here and there and there and there and there and there), then I will think of it as using people. I guess it's just like the whole "You only talk to me (or is nice to me) when you need help...but then you would never talk to me otherwise.</p>
<p>So ya, I would love to know what guys and gals think about that?</p>
<p>I personally think that is fine. If someone never really talks to me then ask me for help out of the blue then I felt as if I’m being used. I owe them no obligations so I have the right to say no and they cannot argue with me. The same logic applies even to your friends but, you’d be a jerk not to help out your friends. Of course this only applies when its a big favor, a small one like showing that person a helpful website I can do no problem.</p>
<p>If you help someone then you hurt yourself, you’re putting out time and money for them and probably wouldn’t get anything in return other than “feeling good about yourself.”</p>
<p>I personally follow the “you help me, I help you” idea. Some of my friends, even close ones, never ever help me so why do I feel the obligation to help them? One of my friend for example ask me to drive him to his school appointment because he is too lazy to take the bus and does not own a car, I drove him 15 miles to the appointment, waited for him for an hour to finish up, then drive him back home through heavy traffic. He never did anything in return for me and never thanked me which is why I usually ignore his texts about doing him a favor.</p>
<p>People do this to me sometimes, and I find it annoying whenever it happens. I try to be nice anyway unless I straight up don’t like the person, because in the off chance you needed help from that person they’d help you too!</p>
<p>I completely understand what you saying.
I used to have this happen to me, we used to be friends back in the day, but about 2 years later when we both moved and we never kept in touch, this friend just asks me for 400$ out of the blue. I’m like, sorry can’t help u out. But he keeps on comin back to me so I just delete him from my contacts on fb, IM and everything else.</p>
<p>If someone asks me for the name of a song or some advice on something that I’m good at then I’ll be glad to help out though. It’s just, don’t come to me asking me for some cash or a ride or a place to stay if I haven’t heard from u in over a year… U know what I mean? If we were really good friends, then we’d still talk and try see eachother as often as possible.</p>
<p>I’m a nice person, probably too nice at some times. I feel bad telling people ‘No’ but sometimes, you just have to put your foot down. First of all, I would definitely not give this person a ride. It sounds like you barely know them and personally, I’m not to fond of having strangers in my car. </p>
<p>Homework help is a different story. If the person were to call me up completely flustered, saying things like “I’m so sorry to bother you” or “I know that we don’t talk much, but I’m having problem with X subject and know that you’re really knowledgeable in the subject” or even “I’ve asked 5 people for help and no one would, can you please help me?” then yeah, I would probably help them. But if the person just calls and bluntly asks me “What’s the answer to number 7” then sorry, no help for you.</p>
<p>Eh, it’s just a ride. I suppose location matters–I live in a pretty small town, so nothing is too far away. (And since it’s such a small town, you’re asking for trouble if you refuse someone a favor like that.) But even if that weren’t the case, I’d probably still do it. Chances are if someone I rarely speak to is asking me for a ride, they’ve exhausted all their other options. And if I’m not doing anything important, why not?</p>
<p>i think it depends on the circumstances and what they were asking for. for me theres a difference between hw help (i would ask anyone from class for help if they were online) or asking you randomly for a ride somewhere. i think theyre using you for the ride at that point.</p>
<p>Sometimes people ask you favor in order to know you, because just saying Hi over facebook or IM might be treated like a stalk, so sometimes they invent small favor to have a reason to talk to you then they will likely to do payback favors to you and the whole purpose is to know you and date you some day… hahahah… it is a possibility…</p>