<p>I am a freshman at a mid sized school, about 5000 people. I have been here a little more than three weeks. So far, I am not having a good time. </p>
<p>I have made some friends, but with most of them, I feel like we are just acquaintances. There is only one person I feel like I can really call my friend here.</p>
<p>I am getting annoyed with my two roommates. They are alright people, but both get up very early. I sleep late. One of my roommates opens the blinds and plays music at like 10, when I am still trying to sleep.</p>
<p>The worst part may be my classes. I have ADHD, and feel I am not ready for college level classes. I am already falling behind on work and not doing well on quizzes. There is a disability service office, but they are not doing much to help me. I feel like im going to end up like my dad, and fail out. </p>
<p>I have been overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety and depression since i got here. So much that I feel like I am not thinking rationally any more. I really just dont know what to do. Talking to my friends back home, they are all having a great time, which just makes me more sad. I just want to go back to my senior year of high school, the one time I was actually happy. </p>
<p>The media portrays college as probably the best 4 years of your life. They don’t tell you about the hardships and daily struggles that happens in reality. Do I tell my high school friends college is awesome? Yeah I do. However I don’t tell them that after I spent 5 hours on an online Calculus module, I cry myself to sleep. I know they joke about they’re slaving over homework, but I bet they’re too proud to attend office hours of their TAs to ask for help. </p>
<p>Have you tried the health services at your school for counseling? </p>
<p>On a weekday, you really ought to be up and going by 10 am. It isn’t your roommate’s fault that you are snoozing the day away and struggling in your classes. Treat going to school like a job – try to be at the library or class by 9 am. Don’t cut any classes. Plan to spend 2-3 hours outside of class studying for every hour you are in class. Go to office hours to ask questions. Take advantage of any tutoring offered by the departments you are taking classes in. Reward yourself for getting small chunks of work done (reading done for tomorrow’s class? Surf the internet for 15 minutes. Problem set completed? Get a bagel.). Eat a decent diet and try to work out a few times a week.</p>
<p>The disabilities office can help you request accommodations if you got them in high school. Things like extra time on tests. You might consider whether you should drop a class this semester if it isn’t too late if you are overwhelmed academically. Better to take an extra semester to finish than to drop out… But the disabilities office can’t miraculously overcome your disability for you. You need to follow up on stuff like accommodations (sometimes you have to talk with professors, my kid has to fill out a form a week ahead of each exam).</p>
<p>If you have not been on meds for your ADHD, you might go to the campus health service and discuss with them. You may need to see someone off campus or at home over winter break about that. </p>
<p>True friends are not instantly acquired anyplace in life. Good for you to have ONE friend after 3 weeks! Keep working on meeting people – go out with your floor or your acquaintances, join a club or two, join study groups if you have the opportunity, etc. It often takes a full year to settle in socially.</p>
<p>My daughter said the same thing. She had nothing in common with the roommates. Guess what, she is now friendly enough with one roommate to think about vacationing in Hawaii.
I remembered telling her, it’s great she was not best friends with them. I’ve heard so many crazy stories on the CC that I was happy for them not to be buddy. I was just hoping for cordial or acquaintance level.</p>
<p>It’s only been a few weeks, keep working at it and those acquaintances will start to feel more like friends. These things take time, it’s still pretty early. A lot of other students feel the same way right around now.</p>
<p>For roommates, if something is seriously bothering you, try and come up with a solution before it gets worse. For noise in the morning, either talk to them and let them know the music/light bothers you, or get yourself earplugs and a mask to sleep with. I was totally mismatched with a roommate a year ago, she went to bed at 10 and woke up at 7… I went to bed at 2 and slept til 11. But we were both respectful and made it work, even though it wasn’t ideal. I would tiptoe around in the dark at night, she’d be extra quiet in the mornings. So, it’s possible to get along, you just have to let them know that you have an issue with it, maybe they don’t realize the lights and sounds upset you.</p>
<p>Academics can be tricky. First, figure out where your problems are. Are you skipping/sleeping through classes a lot? Do you spend time outside of class doing readings and learning material? Did you just take on too much this semester? Is the material just hard for you? Some of those problems are easy to fix, others are a bit trickier. If you’re putting in a lot of time and effort, try going to office hours. Maybe the professor/TA can help you get back on track, or walk you through problems, or give you study tips. Show them that you care and that you’re struggling, they can help. :)</p>
Pick a bedtime and stick with it consistently (maybe 10:30 p.m.). Ditto for a wake-up time (how about 9 a.m.?).
Book an appointment with counseling services and discuss your mood, ADHD, feelings about loss of HS life, and social concerns. Also, ask for a referral to a doc to discuss medication options for ADHD, such as the non-stimulant Intuniv or stimulants.
Eat regular and healthy meals. Go to the gym or somewhere to exercise at least four times a week. Maybe find a partner for this activity.
Book an appointment with your academic advisor to decide if you should drop or withdraw from one course this semester to provide more time to focus on acing your remaining courses. Consider “catching up” by taking a summer course or two at a community college to transfer back to your school.
Make Thanksgiving and winter break plans (something to look forward to).
Book regular appointments with tutoring services, TAs, academic coaches, or whomever offers this support on campus.
Book an appointment or use office hours for each of your instructors to review your past work; discuss coming assignments; chat about career interests, coming semesters, study tips; etc.<br>
Keep the encounters with students flowing through your life and watch for folks you LIKE. Then, plan activities with them, even study groups, checking out a campus event, a Sunday dinner, etc. </p>
<p>This is what I’ve seen work for students. It sounds a lot like a New Year’s resolutions like, though, doesn’t it? Goes to show you, we all have challenges with the stuff above at all stages or life. Don’t give up. </p>