I beg you, please look over my letter (asking for probation)

Parents Forum
1

<p>Dear Academic Progress Committee,</p>

<p>I’m writing this letter to appeal the decision to academically dismiss me from SUNY Plattsburgh. I do not blame anybody but myself for the situation I’m currently in right now. Over the course of the two semesters that I’ve been at SUNY Plattsburgh, my grades have been affected by many different obstacles and personal challenges. </p>

<p>My first semester was really tough for me socially and academically. It was an 8 hour drive away from home. I have never been this far from home alone before so it wasn’t easy adjusting. The weather, the town and the campus were all different from anything I had ever experienced before. A really strange problem I had was with showering. Every single time I showered in the dorms, I would be really itchy for about 20 minutes. I tried everything from changing laundry detergent, body wash, bed sheets, and towel and still the problem persisted. My roommate didn’t have this problem and neither did any of my other floor mates. Very early on in the school year, I was involved in an incident one night which resulted in me getting written up. Not being much of a drinker, I went to a party one night and I had too much to drink. The drink was a mixture of many, and it contained many different things including some I had no idea about. I was fine when leaving the party but as soon as I got outside the next thing I knew I was on the floor. I was helped back into my dorm but for some reason I couldn’t calm down. My heart rate was too fast and I was too energetic. According to some, I was really loud. My RA was scared because according to him he had never seen anyone behave like that after drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and it’s supposed to calm you down and I was completely opposite of calm. He called 911 and I was written up for making noise around the time of quiet hours. I was put on judicial probation for the remainder of that semester. I learned my lesson that night though, and as the records will indicate, I was never involved in drinking or such behavior again. When I was told to go see an alcohol counselor, she said that I’m not someone who has problems with alcohol or is addicted to it so in-fact I only met with her for just one session. She said the only abnormal thing was how high my heart rate was. Academically I had my share of problems as-well. I was really challenged by the courses I was taking because high school didn’t prepare me too well for the rigorous demand of college. To make things worse, I was a declared Biology major with the intention of pre-med. One subject I had trouble with in particular was Chemistry. It was strongly recommended by my Chemistry professor that I take a remedial basic version of the Chemistry course otherwise I might struggle with the course. Unfortunately, that class started a bit later than it was intended to so I fell behind in the fundamentals of Chemistry course by the time it finally stared. I then had no other option but to withdraw from the Chemistry course. Fortunately, I was able to finish out my first semester with a decent GPA of a 3.11 despite taking a light course load. </p>

<p>Just when I thought everything was fine, my second semester at Plattsburgh took me by storm. With all the lessons I learned from that first semester, I really started out the spring semester with a bang! I completely changed around my lifestyle and my study habits by putting school first and facing the semester with a lot of determination. I often received several comments from people about this change. My roommate would often say to me “Man, I wish I had your motivation”. </p>

<p>My mid-term grades were:</p>

<p>English—B+
Music—B+
History—D+
Biology—D </p>

<h2>Chemistry—E </h2>

<pre><code> GPA: 1.7
</code></pre>

<p>Factoring that 1.7 into my cumulative of 3.11 would have come out to a 2.16 cumulative GPA which wouldn’t have put me in danger of academic dismissal. Those mid-term grades were mostly all based on one exam and a few assignments. The way I was working meant that there was more than hope for my grades to improve. Those B+’s in English and Music could have turned into A’s. The D in Biology might have possibly gone up to a C+ or better. Unfortunately, despite this step in the right direction to start off the semester, I made two decisions which turned out to hurt me more in the end than help me. Firstly, I took more credits than I could handle and secondly, I declared a minor. Even though I was staying in and taking charge of my school work, I started to struggle to keep up with the pace that my courses demanded. As we progressed through the content, the material in the class started to get harder and some of the courses required more time outside of class in-order to stay on top of the material. With very little experience in such an academic situation, it all started get overwhelming for me. I didn’t know how to study for every single course every day. I worked out different schedules and time tables but neither seemed to work for me. It got to a point where I decided, I would spend the early part of the day immediately after class working on English, music, and the history course then sleep around 9 p.m. and wake up at 4 a.m. to study for Chemistry and Bio, until class time, since those were the courses I felt I needed to devote most of my time to. But it wasn’t of much help. Sometimes, the assignments in English took me longer than I thought and I would end up having to sacrifice the time I planned to use to study for Chemistry and Biology for English. This contributed to me falling behind in Chemistry and Biology. My Chemistry course especially, because the class met twice a week, a lot of material was covered during the class period and every Tuesday there was either a test or a quiz. This was too demanding for me to handle. My grades started to decline. Coming from a background where my parents never went to college, they weren’t useful at all when I asked them for advice. My dad rather kept pushing and urging me to continue taking the 18 credits and my mom put pressure on me telling about a close family friend whose child graduated college in 3 years because of all the credits they took a semester. Because of this I didn’t consider dropping a course. I continued to struggle more and more. I contacted most of my teachers and asked what it was I needed to do to stand a chance of passing the class? In Chemistry, I was told that I needed to get in the high 90s for all remaining exams and quiz’s. That was too tough of a task for me since I fell behind and catching up wasn’t going to be easy. I then decided to channel my energy towards my remaining classes and do the best that I could do. I changed from studying in my room with loud music playing on my floor, and my roommate talking on the phone to a more quiet setting in the library and learning center. I tried really hard to make sure my cumulative GPA wouldn’t fall below the 2.0 mark. There were times when I had very little sleep. Some day’s I was one of the last ones to leave the library. Unfortunately, in the end my efforts weren’t enough. Although I was close, I was unable to reach the 2.0 mark my cumulative GPA came to a 1.92. This for me was a really big blow. I really like this college, the town and the opportunities it has presented to me. I’m one of the first in my family to attend college and this is such a dream come true not only for me but for my parents as-well. In the end, I’ve tried my best to keep my head up and face what’s ahead of me. Despite this academic tragedy so early on in my college career, I believe that if given a second chance, things will be different. All that has happened has shaped me up to become a matured college student. </p>

<p>I have dealt with all of the issues that I faced during the semester and I’m now ready to try again. I’ve learned better time management and productive study skills. Rather than my old method of trying to study for every course every day, I now know to break up the work into smaller parts. This allows me to learn the material at a pace that’s good for me. Before, I tried to learn everything all at once which proved to be very ineffective that’s why I was feeling overwhelmed. One very important issue that I’ve tackled which I believe will make a really big difference if I’m allowed to return back to school is that I’ve gave deep thoughts into my major, my career goals, and I’ve laid out a plan. My academic records show that my lowest grades the two semesters I’ve been at SUNY Plattsburgh has been in the science courses. Carefully looking at my transcript will show that I took Chemistry twice receiving a W the first time and an E the second time. Although I might have the desire for a career in medicine, I don’t think I have the academic capability to handle the rigor of science courses. And with my records at the moment, my chances at medical school are very slim. Before the semester ended, I went to my advisor with all these concerns and I spoke with her about it. She was nice enough to work with me and even gave me other possible majors, and careers I could consider. We discussed meeting graduation requirements to graduate on time, what I could do to stand a chance at med school, what to do with the difficulty I was facing with the science classes, and if changing majors to something else be a good idea. I told her “I have the desire for medical school but I have to face reality because I’m not good at the sciences.” And she told me sincerely that she believes I can do it. She told me it looks like I was overwhelmed this semester taking more credits than I could handle. She went on to add that it would be a good idea if I dropped my music minor and focused strictly on the sciences. We then mapped out the courses that I need to take and should take in the upcoming semesters. Having this talk with her really helped me a lot. I made up my mind that I will drop my minor so that I could focus more on my science courses. Academically, with my GPA currently at a 1.92, my chances at medical school or a career in the medical profession isn’t good. I’ve figured that for the next semesters, If I can maintain a semester GPA of a 4.0, I will be able to get my cumulative to a 3.5 And being a science major, I will also have another GPA for science courses. My advisor told me about changing from a B.A. to a B.Sc. degree which will require me to take more upper level science courses. Upper level science courses will really play a big role in increasing my GPA. Raising my cumulative to a 3.5 by senior year will make me competitive for medical school. If I fall short, and I can at-least graduate with a cumulative GPA of 3.0 or better, it will earn me a spot in a post-baccalaureate program to increase my science grades to enter medical school. I’m really optimistic because although my cumulative GPA may be low, there’s more than hope for me if I’m allowed to return to back to school. If re-instated, I will have 6 more semesters to raise my GPA. I am now matured and can handle college level work. </p>

<p>The time at SUNY Plattsburgh has really taught me a lot and has helped me to grow as a person and a student. I am much more matured now than when I first came to Plattsburgh. Being a first year college student, transitioning was a bit difficult at first, but now I’ve come to understand and I’ve learned essential skills like what studying methods work best for me. But I can only demonstrate this if given a second chance.</p>

<p>I’m asking for an appeal to allow me to return back to school on academic probation. If given such a chance I will do things much differently than the first two semesters and fix up my academic record. I’m a person who doesn’t make the same mistakes twice. After my alcohol incident during the first semester, records will show that, I was never involved in anything of that nature again and I didn’t repeat such actions. I believe with what I’ve learned through experience this semester about perseverance, I’ll be able to perform much better academically next semester. For one, I will not overwhelm myself with the amount of credits that I take. I’ll make sure to take a reasonable course load that I can handle. Now that I’ve learned what studying methods works best for me, my studies will be much more effective and productive because I will study smarter. I’ll also take full advantage of the available helpful resources that are available like the learning center and Fienberg library. </p>

<hr>

<p>Look for grammatical errors as well as how to improve and make it much better. Thanks. Greatly appreciate it. I have 'til the 16th the submit this but I want to submit it earlier than that.</p>

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<p>To be honest, I have not read through the whole thing, but at a glance I can say that:</p>

<p>1) Your paragraphs are far too long. </p>

<p>2) Being itchy after showering is not the sort of adversity that gets your decision appealed. I would be very careful about what I chose and chose not to include. </p>

<p>3) Apostrophes are not used to pluralize words.</p>

3

<p>Way too long and detailed, full of many tiny excuses which, while they may have legitimately contributed to your academic issues, nonetheless happen to many freshmen.
You need to convince them clearly that you know where your deficiencies lie and your concrete plan to remedy this. Explore academic tutoring, study groups, extra advising etc. and cite your plan to use this. Forget banking on getting a 4.0 next semester and thereafter - you need a more realistic plan and frankly your past performance makes that kind of a long shot.
Need to be clear, concise and grammatically flawless. Less detailed and pleading, more proactive and confident. Finally try and get this to lead to a personal meeting on the subject and, if possible, include a letter of confidence from your advisor.
Good Luck!</p>

4

<p>As others have mentioned, you need to shorten the letter and be more concise. It’s full of ridiculous excuses and lacks a sense of you taking full responsibility for your low GPA.
Being itchy, having classes twice a week, music playing on your dorm floor, weather (everyone knows what the weather is like in Plattsburgh) and having a roommate who talks are not reasons for your low GPA. </p>

<p>Speak to the root of the problem. Take responsibility without making excuses.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

5

<p>What exactly is your main thesis statement because after reading all that I honestly don’t know. All of your points are all jumbled into one big mass, and it makes it very hard for a person to agree with your plight.</p>

6

<p>I agree. Shorten it a lot. The first paragraph should basically say that you know where you went wrong and you have a viable plan for fixing it. </p>

<p>Leave out the alcohol incident unless it is directly related (i.e. if having that on the record is one of the reasons you are being considered for dismissal), leave out the shower, the weather, etc.</p>

<p>Focus on your academic advisor working with you to come up with a viable plan for succeeding in your future classes and graduating on time. Leave out the part about maybe still getting into med school (sorry but suddenly getting a 4.0 next year is unrealistic). Also discuss the fact that you have learned through trial and error what type of studying works (and doesn’t work) for you, but do not go into the gory details.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

7

<p>He doesn’t need a “main these statement”…where do they teach you guys this stuff? Loose the drama, the itching, the drinking episode. Pick out the salient facts in each paragraph, cut it by 2/3rds come back and ask for more opinions.</p>

8

<p>Seems to me like you need a primer on how to write a good essay. He needs to focus on what his main issue was in school that affected his grades so badly. </p>

<p>i.e. He needs to nail down exactly what the main problem was.</p>

<p>After that, he can branch off into a few of his other issues. But to make that essay concise and clear, he needs to figure out exactly what the main problem was (That would be his thesis statement)</p>

9

<p>Too long. Sounded like one big “pity on me” story and therefore it places a big doubt about your sincerity. </p>

<p>Do your thoughts really rattle around like this letter? If so, you’ve got to learn to organize your thoughts before you do anything.</p>

10

<p>Have you considered taking a couple of summer classes at your local community college?
If not, this may be a very good idea. Not only will the classes help you to gain some of the study skills you’re currently lacking, it may help to prove to Plattsburgh that you are serious about getting your academics back on track.</p>

<p>Shorten your letter. Get to the point. Admit and take full responsibility for your grades.
Present a logical plan for getting your academics back on track. Set attainable goals (you’re not going to go from a below 2.0 GPA to a 4.0).</p>

11

<p>I agree with all of the above. The letter must be completely re-written to be far more concise, the litany of petty excuses (itchiness, weather, drinking, parents’ expectations, etc.) removed, and no mention of your Junior/Senior goals or future grad school/career plans. You need to convince the Academic Progress Committee that you have identified the issues that led to your sub-2.0 GPA, that you take responsibility for those issues, and that you have resolved them so that your future grades will be higher. The committee does not really care as much about whether or not you can get into Medical School or some other grad school. They are concerned about your current performance and what you are going to do to improve it.</p>

<p>It would be fine to SUCCINCTLY describe your time management problems as a major contributing cause to your low GPA. You should also mention that you were overly optimistic regarding the number of credits that you could handle each semester, as well as your preparation to take science courses like Chemistry and Biology. Follow up with exactly how you intend to manage your studying time better, as well as your intention to take a smaller and less-demanding course load until you have demonstrated to yourself that you are ready to take on more.</p>

<p>On a more prosaic note:

  • each paragraph should only contain one main topic.
  • You should use more compound sentences occasionally.
  • The entire letter should fit on one page.</p>
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<p>And to not derail the thread, but you might want to rethink your counselors advice by asking yourself, did you LIKE any of your science classes? It may well be that you can still work in health care, but in health education, health adminstration, etc. If you get to stay, maybe you could take a few of your gen ed classes to see if you like anything else. Maybe you should add that you will also meet with a career counselor if you are allowed to return. </p>

<p>You did poorly in “weed out” classes but it need not ruin your entire college career.</p>

13

<h2>It wouldn’t let me edit the original post. So here’s an edited essay based on all your comments and suggestions. Thanks so far guys. I really appreciate this. God bless you all!</h2>

<p>Dear Academic Progress Committee,</p>

<p>I’m writing this letter to appeal the decision to academically dismiss me from SUNY Plattsburgh. I do not blame anybody but myself for the situation I’m currently in. Over the course of the two semesters that I’ve been at SUNY Plattsburgh, my grades have been affected by many academic challenges. </p>

<p>My first semester was really tough for me and I found the courses I was taking very challenging. During mid-terms that semester, I had about two E’s. One subject that gave me the most trouble was Chemistry. My chemistry professor strongly recommended that I take a remedial Chemistry course in addition with the four credit general Chemistry, or otherwise I might struggle with the course. Unfortunately, the class that he recommended I take started a bit later than it should have so I fell behind in the Chemistry course. In the end I withdrew from the class although I stayed in the remedial course. However, I still managed to finish out my first semester with a decent GPA of a 3.11.</p>

<p>I started my second semester with high hopes. In-fact, the problem is that I had set my hopes too high. I was overly optimistic declaring a minor, and being ambitious about the number of credits I could handle each semester. As a result of this, my grades suffered. As we progressed through content, the material in the classes started to get harder and some of the courses required more time outside of class in-order to stay on top of the material. The biggest mistake I made was waiting until the end to seek help. Very late into the semester I started going to the learning center, the library, and even to see professors. However, in the end it was too little too late. Despite my last minute efforts, I was only able to get my cumulative GPA up to a 1.92</p>

<p>I have dealt with the issue that I faced during the semester and I’m now ready to give it another shot. Before the semester ended, I went to my advisor with some academic concerns like completing my degree on time, changing majors, and some of the difficulties I faced during the semester. She talked with me about other majors I could look into. Concerning my grades, she said it looks like I was overwhelmed this semester by taking more credits than I could handle. With her advice, I decided that it would be a good idea to drop my music minor in-order to focus strictly on the sciences. We then mapped out the courses that I would need to take in the upcoming semesters in order to graduate on time. My advisor even advised me to consider changing from a B.A. to a B.Sc. degree which I plan on doing. </p>

<p>The time at SUNY Plattsburgh has really taught me a lot. I am more matured now than when I first came in. I take full responsibility for what has happened. If given the chance to continue at SUNY Plattsburgh on academic, I will make sure to make the necessary changes based on the lessons that I’ve learned this semester. First, this semester, I’ve learned what study methods and techniques are most effective for me. This will make my studies more efficient. Secondly, I will seek help sooner rather than later. I waited too long before I started going to the learning center, library, and to seek help from professors. Most important of all, I will make sure to take on a course load I can handle. I don’t plan on taking more than 16 credits. I will follow the plan that I laid out with my advisor. With all this behind me, if given a second chance to continue at Plattsburgh, things will be different.</p>

14

<p>^ much better.
close with something like "Please contact me with any additional information/concerns that might help in your decision or confirming my dedication to the program blah blah. I look forward to your reply (or something like that…)</p>

15

<p>It’s good you wrote the 1st draft to get your thoughts flowing. And the revision is better. But still too long, with overly long paragraphs.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

16

<p>Much better. Good luck!</p>

17

<p>There are several items you should consider fixing within your essay.</p>

<p>1) You had a lot of contractions in your letter so try removing most if not all of them.</p>

<p>2) Leave out the minor details, such as, when you were explaining your new regimen to stay on top of your classes in the second semester & final grades. They honestly don’t need to know about everything you did.</p>

<p>3) Don’t leave in when you said how your high school didn’t really prepare you for college or how the itchy laundry effected your grades. By leaving in these things your making the college think maybe you weren’t the best student to accept in the first place if you can’t handle things like your laundry why should they reconsider you as a student?</p>

<p>4) Designate each paragraph of your letter for a topic, for example, Paragraph 1- Introduction, Paragraph 2- Explain Your Mistakes (ex. over estimating how many credit hours you could handle) , Paragraph 3- Explain How You Intend to Improve on Past Mistakes if You are Allowed on Academic Probation, Paragraph 4- Closing.</p>

<p>5) If the drinking incident has greatly involved part of why you are not going to be able to continue there as a student I would leave it in, however, if it hasn’t been a great factor leave it out. </p>

<p>When your writing your letter aim to convince them you are an asset to the school. Don’t try to explain every failure & setback because it may come across as if your whining your case instead of stating. You want them to think that by losing you their losing a future benefit.</p>

<p>I hope it all works out for you in the long run.</p>

18

<p>Much better. Good luck!</p>

19

<p>Sorry, I didn’t see your revised one before I posted but it looks a lot better.</p>

20

<p>Your letter is much better now. It’s definitely more focused. Rework some of the sentences. </p>

<p>For example:</p>

<p>“She talked with me about other majors I could look into.”</p>

<p>^perhaps change to something like—“She talked with me about the idea of looking into possible alternative majors.”</p>