It is not the end of the world to need to defer college for a year. You are by no means not the only student who needs to compromise on the vision of having a bachelor’s degree four years out from HS. The family meeting sounds like a good idea- everyone can pool ideas. I certainly would NOT want my sister to walk the extra 1/2 hour since she deserves that extra time since she not only has school but a job taking her time.
Not all teens have wealthy parents who can send them off to college. Many students need to do it on their own and do take longer to get their degrees. Life isn’t fair and you shouldn’t make it more unfair for anyone else. I do not see why an already stressed family (loss of a job) should add additional stresses to their days to transport you to college. Waiting a semester or year will not derail your life. In fact, you may perform better without the stressors in the family and have a better appreciation for college, plus more time to do well.
I never wanted to be the get off my lawn kid guy, but I guess I have reached that point in life.
Two things I have never been without since I turned sixteen (or even before), a car of my own and job to pay for it. Not the type of car that would have impressed anyone, but it was always mine. The best I remember, just about every one of my peers manage to own one too one way or the other. Many of them worked a job to keep their car on the road as well. It baffles me how kids today seem to be indifferent about the whole concept of having their own wheels.
I commuted 30 minutes throughout my college career myself. I was fortunate that my parents had jobs and were willing to pay my tuition, but they never had to pay anything toward the car that got me there. That was my contribution.
You can figure the transportation thing out if you are truly determined to. Find a way. It would have been helpful if you had started working on it well before now, but nothing you can do about that now. Realize that even if you finish college and are able to secure a decent job, you still have to find a way to get to that job. Such is life.
@Newsie2015 I am in the exact same position, except I’ve been poor since the beginning.30 minutes for a bus is too far? I just finished high school and I would take an hour bus ride to take a college math class at a community college every day. Now that I am going to a university, I still will take the bus and its is 4 towns away which means a 2 hour bus ride to get to school everyday. But my parents and I mapped it and scheduled it out so I leave at 6 am and return home between 5-6 on Tues and Thursdays. It takes planning and dedication but its not impossible
Another thought: You have a sister who’s not much younger than you. Does she also want to go to college? If she does, maybe you two could work out some plans together. Maybe you could work full-time and she could work part-time until she graduates from high school, and then you two would have enough money so that you could share a car if you attended the same college. Or, again assuming that you attended the same college, maybe the two of you would have enough money by then so that you could afford to share a small off-campus apartment in the college community.
Does anyone else from your high school attend the same community college? Could you get busy online and find people with whom you could carpool? People are generally very happy for help with gas money.
I think you and your family should meet again with financial aid. Some schools have to stick to a formula, it is true, which means this year the family contribution will be more but next year much less. Still, it is worth meeting with them and asking if there is more that can be done.
Second, college is not an all or nothing proposition. One of my kids is halfway through, taking two classes at a time and commuting. You can at least make some progress this fall, but make sure that any classes you take don’t affect financial aid if you then become a transfer (there is a certain number of classes that a school will consider as converting you to a transfer).
If your mom is a teacher, it is a little hard to believe that CC is out of reach. If you do find a way to go, make sure the classes are transferable to UT.
Is the bike and bus idea feasible by the way? My son didn’t have a car for his first job in California and biked 6 miles each day. I have a friend who commutes by train and he bikes to the train and takes it.
Finally, if you have anxiety and depression you should register with the disabilities office in case you have a recurrence, and tuition refund insurance is not a bad idea.
Fellow DFW area person here. My condolences on the job loss…that is so hard. We are just coming off two years of loss for my engineering husband (a huge shout out to you parents who are pushing engineering for your kids…they will age into their 50’s and then be the most expensive ones on the block and will be laid off so the new college grad engineers can come in and do the same work for 60K less! TRUE story!).
Anyway, why don’t you just take your first set of classes online through one of the local junior colleges OR load all of your community college classes on two days of the week so your Dad can drop you off there for the day.
You can do this. You just have to think it out and plan and this may be different from what you had planned. You may even need to take a break and work a whole semester to save up.
Oh…and to all those posting he could take the bus. The DFW area has HORRIBLE, almost non-existent public transportation. There is now a commuter train that runs a straight line between Ft. Worth and Dallas but the bus system is horrible. I’m pretty sure I would not want my kid attempting it.
I think the reason kids are indifferent to their own cars these days is insurance. When I started driving &-:;$&@ years ago, adding a 16 y/o and a junk car in a rural town was peanuts.
Nowadays, adding a teen and a car, esp in an urban area can be 5-6k a year. Not worth it IMO.
I also think you may want to defer if you can’t find a room/board situation is exchange for being in the house at night with an elderly or disabled person, or doing some chores. I know this sounds crazy, but maybe be a nanny? You live there, get the kids off to school. Pick them up or be home at 3. You can go to class during the day. Study when the Mom dad get home. Free room, board and they pay you…
I found myself in a similar situation, although I had finished my freshman year of college. On winter break my parents informed me they weren’t paying for another year of college, that they had only saved enough to send me for one year and they didn’t see the point. My second semester grades plunged (I was so sad about not being able to go back), and I said goodbye to an amazing school.
So, I got a job, moved out, and started going to school at night at the community college. One option that I did take advantage of at one point was to work at a university that offered free school to the people who work there. I worked during the day and went to school at night. I eventually got my degree. I think the first (and scariest) thing to do is to start looking at yourself as an individual, separate from your parents, and establish yourself as such-my financial aid package was much better at the CC once I was legally independent.
As for transportation, I went to a junkyard and bought a car for $400 at one of their auctions, put the minimum legal coverage on it (since I owned it outright and had no loan on it), and that was my car.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are ways to get an education, even if it’s not the way you’d dreamed of doing it.
Personally, I think deferring is a bad idea and a cop out in the face of a challenge. They should be able to work out some transportation arrangement, which might be sister on Monday, dad on Tuesday, mom on Wednesday, bus on Thursday morning, bike on Thursday night etc…If everyone is on board with the idea that this is a team effort and mom’s job, sister’s job, op’s education, and dad’s work search are ALL critical then they can figure it out.
The university is too far for me to walk or bike there and the closest bus route is two counties away. I do live close to the university but not close enough for public transportation. Most of the students i know going to UTA are living on campus so i cant hitch a ride with anyone.
We called the university yesterday and they told us that if we get denied the parent plus loan I’ll get an extra 4k. The financiL aid i have already mixed in the extra money they give will be just enough to cover tution and housing but not a meal plan. Is a meal plan all that necessary?
@marian my sister is an entering junior in high school.
My father has a 2nd interview with a an employer today and I’m hoping that he gets this job. If he does then will we have to notify the university?
I agree with those who said you have options to make this work, including deferment. But having lived in Texas, I know why the sister might not want to walk half an hour to work. Unless her workplace has a shower she can use, that just isn’t an option in 100 degree heat!
Yes a meal plan is necessary! You need to eat. And usually it’s required for on campus students in residence halls since they can’t cook their own meals. See what the meal plan options are to at least eat two good meals a day, breakfast can be cheaper if you can eat cereal, granola bars, etc.
A car is sometimes available pretty cheaply but won’t always last long with daily commutes, the expensive thing is adding a young male (?) driver to the insurance. You said your family has a hard time paying bills right now, doesn’t look like that would be something they would want to add.
Fingers crossed for your dad to get that job!
And nobody from your town/hs is doing the same program as you? Someone from the town works where the college is?