I am struggling to decide if transferring is the right choice for me. I originally got into my top choice reach school, however I didn’t attend because it was so expensive and I didn’t qualify for any financial aid. I actually didn’t get into a bunch of schools that I really liked (but I got into my reach??) and I ended up going to my safety. It was/is about 30k cheaper per year to attend my safety that my reach and it has a beautiful campus and is really close to family. The other major appeal with this school was that absolutely nobody knew me. It was/is a state school in another state and there are zero other people from my high school there right now and nobody from my area. It was an amazing fresh start after high school having been so horrible. However, I have had a lot of second thoughts this past year about my decision. I find myself regretting not taking the risk and attending my dream school, and watching my friends have fun at their colleges while I watch, jealous.
My reasons for wanting to leave are as follows:
classes are so easy. I struggled a lot in high school and now I barely have to do work to get an A and if not an A then a B. I’ve only really had to put in work for three classes over the past year and while sometimes an easy A is nice to have they shouldn’t all be that way. Granted - I am not yet in my major, these are all gen-eds, so it will get harder, but I want to learn not glide by.
The school is so underdeveloped. It is still new and growing rapidly but we don’t have a lot of the other things that other schools have. I get so sad noticing how little school spirit there really is, people walk around in clothes from other schools all the time and many people transfer. Nobody attends any sports games and people left early from our homecoming game this year because we were loosing… it was really sad to see.
I tried to rush but the sororities are new and I didn’t feel like the girls who were in them carried the values that sororities should - they were more worried about looks and social status. I know a lot of people in sororities who truly believe in being good and working hard but these ones didn’t seem to be that way.
I don’t feel like a lot of my friends care enough about their academics. I really want to work hard to learn and grow but people don’t seem to take their schooling seriously. This is hard to explain… I hope you understand what I mean by this. They just don’t focus and you look for help on a topic and nobody can help you. People are surprised when I go to tutoring… etc.
I haven’t really clicked with any group of friends… I am friendly with lots of people and have friends but I don’t have any best friends and haven’t found a group like so many people have… I feel a bit lost and left out in this way.
As a state school full of state students it doesn’t seem like it will get me where I want to go. I want to move home when I am done and I worry about being able to get a job since I likely won’t get recruited there. Most employers who go to my current school are from local businesses.
My fears about transferring are:
The cost. It is so high. I know that I could manage it. It would be about 65k a year for 2.5 years (I have to transfer spring of my sophomore year I missed the fall deadline). Can you put a price on a good college education and experience? I don’t really know the answer to that.
What if I don’t fit in - again. I am scared of that. I never found my place in high school nor at this first school, is that just the way it is going to be? me alone?
the new school is so close to home. I left to start over and I don’t want people who knew me before to not let me change. I can change all that I want but only if people will let me show them.
What if I can’t handle the work load? Most sophomores end their years with a group 80 page report project. That seems so incredibly daunting to me. My school is so much easier than that right now. Can I do it? Yeah of course I can, but will it kill me? That is really the question.
-What if it isn’t the right choice again? What if I don’t fit in and it isn’t the right place… how many times do I really want to fight that.
I really wanted to study abroad… this whole transfer thing may kill that dream…
transfer credits could mess up my graduation date. More money.
I don’t want to leave my family, that is such a nice thing to have at my current school. But I am worried about this school never fulfilling my hopes for college. I want to be prepared for life after college as well as form connections that will last forever. I want to cheer at games win or lose and I just don’t feel like any of those things are happening for me right now. I could really use any input about the transfer process, what it is like to transfer and what you think I should do. I am having a tough time deciding if this is even the right choice for me and any unbiased opinions would be greatly appreciated. I am not sure I want to tell my family or friends about this yet… I do not need the judgment from my college friends (this school isn’t good enough for you?) or the pressures of my family to get in and afterthoughts if I don’t get in.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and aid me in my decision.
So people don’t figure out who this is I am not going to say where I am in school now, but the school that I am looking back at is Boston University.
P.S. Considered UMass Amherst as well but so many people from my high school go there, I could never reinvent myself there. When I mean a lot of people I mean like 50 people every year go there from my high school. I just think it would be too much like high school.
65k a year for 2.5 years. A little over 160k. That is extremely high ask yourself how would you cover that price? You said you would move in with your parents after you graduate??? You would be straddled with a lot debt on top of that be living with your parents.
I think you should add other schools to your list if you really want to transfer. Preferably schools that offer good merit aid or need based aid if you qualify.
UMass Amherst is a huge school about 30k students I don’t think you have to worry about seeing people from your high school.
Honestly I think you should stay at your school and study abroad and join clubs that you have interest in. Does your school have a honors program? In a honors program you could meet like minded students who take school seriously.
I hope that you don’t take this wrong way but also maybe should talk to someone (therapist or counselor). I say this because I think you placing too much emphasis on people knowing you. These people not allowing you to change or reinvent. Also I don’t think you will be alone. You are probably an awesome person who hasn’t clicked with people. You can change anyway you want. Just go for it.
Sorry if this response is riddled with grammatical errors.
Thanks for responding. I do not want to move in with my parents after graduation, that is just not an option. The major point with this is that right now I do not qualify for aid because combined my parents make well over 100k/yr. I know that sounds like a lot but we live in an area with very high taxes and they are divorced so the money goes to separate households. The people at the BU Financial aid office told me that there is a possibility for me to receive aid once my brother enrolls in college which would be during my junior year.
The other reason that I don’t want to go to UMass is because of the whole scandal in Spring of 2015ish when they were saying only certain students were allowed in the science fields. It was very discriminatory and I just couldn’t go to a school that was lead by people who thought that way, I hope you can understand that point of view.
I am currently paying 35k per year to go to school. That is being paid for out of pocket by my dad. So 65k-35k =30k a year and I think we could cover more of that, he does have a lot more money than we do. So then I am maybe paying 25-20k myself. Then I make roughly 7k-10k working each summer so my cost and debt would most likely end up around 10-20k per year, so about 50k when I graduate. Furthermore, I do have a bank account from my grandparents with about 20k or 50k (I know big difference but I don’t remember how much!) that we don’t touch now because it is exempt from being shown on the fafsa and css profile but if I touch it then I have to declare it (does that make sense?). I was thinking about saving that account for grad school. Everything is just so complicated. I think I will take your advice and go talk to the counselor at my current school as I think they could help me work through this decision. Also please do not think that I am some rich kid whose parents are paying for college… It is still a strain on all of us and I understand how much money 65k a year is for college, but I feel like I made a mistake by not attending and I need to rethink my decision and see if the BU education and experience will really be worth the finances.
I would speak to your dad and make sure he could pay more firstly. If you have the money that say you have and you can cover the costs then go for it. But financial situations can change. If you really think BU is worth it then go for it.
But honestly 160k for an undergraduate education all being paying out pocket does not seem worth it. On top that your parents have another child who have college costs too.
However, if you think you will be making enough money after you’re done with school to cover all that debt. Then go for it.
Good Luck
I wouldn’t recommend UMass Amherst if you’re looking for an honest school. They never returned the millions that a certain comedian gave them when they (rightfully) rescinded his degree. Everyone talks about all the horrific stuff that he has done, but no one talks about the fact that the institutions kept the money he gave them. Plus, as you said, too many people from your HS there - that’s one of the (many) reasons I never wanted to attend Rutgers (my IS flagship), Penn State or Delaware.
BU isn’t worth that much, no. Especially as a transfer. You would be taking out a ton of loans. I honestly think you are better off remaining where you are (which school is that?).
I am pretty sure that no matter where you are studying, you can find a major and courses that are challenging. State schools provide a fine education but you have to put into it what you want to get out of it. If yours is a STEM major, then you can certainly find a challenge. Get involved in research with a faculty member, get ahead and take graduate courses, there are other options too.
I am at a NC state school but I won’t say which one. Not Chapel Hill or Duke (for reference). And ya UMass Amherst is a no go. Even if it is a good cheap education theres too many people. I know everybody says “you won’t see them” but I have people who are there now and they said they see so many people in their classes and dorms that it isn’t a good option if you want to start over, which I do. I have figured out how much money my parents make and i doubt I would get financial aid but I have to go speak to them because if my brother goes to school it may make a change and I could get a couple thousand. My plan was to have my dad pay 40k/yr and I pay 25k/yr myself. I make about 5k in the summer and I have a bank account with 19k so I think that my part for loans would be manageable, but still hurts my bank account.
I was looking to see whether you were talking about a certain NC state school, but I noticed you were saying that they lost their Homecoming game in the original post. And Duke isn’t a state school, it’s a private. Good on you for not wanting UMass as well.
