<p>I'm starting my fourth year at a community college and I still haven't made a single friend. I've tried socializing countless times, but people always think that I'm weird or that I'm a loser. I always see everyone else hanging out with their friends and having a good time and this makes me feel sad as I feel like a complete outcast. This is really depressing for me because you always hear people say that your college years are the best years of your life, but I'm already in my fourth year and I feel like there's something wrong with me.</p>
<p>Your college years are the best years of your life is patently false.</p>
<p>When they say that, they were most definitely not at a community college. If you’re in your fourth year of community college, get your act together and transfer. I don’t understand why you’re still four years into community college. It took me three max and I took a lot of classes I didn’t need for my major. </p>
<p>If you’re having trouble socializing, community college is a terrible place to try and socialize to begin with. You’re probably an older student now and the only way you’d get the “college experience” is by dorming, but it’s just weird because you’re older now.</p>
<p>I suspect that you’re probably a ■■■■■, but it’s 1:20 AM and I’m too tired to care. Just get your life together.</p>
<p>Wow. Dude, where did that come from? I don’t see anything resembling ■■■■■■■■ in my post.</p>
<p>If it’s because my situation is odd, it is. I’m in my fourth year without a major because of severe depression and circumstances. I didn’t know a single thing about how college worked until late 2012. The orientation that they gave us at our community college wasn’t very clear, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do except take general ed/IGETC classes and electives. Though, I’ve managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA and things were looking good for me at the beginning of 2012, but then family issues came up (my mom has been having an affair) and I just got really depressed and fell off the map.</p>
<p>Also, I’ve had a lot of social issues growing up and even now. I’ve worked really hard at being more sociable, but I always end up being the loner in each one of my classes. It just gets to me at times when literally everyone on campus is with a friend and I’m the only one walking by myself. I don’t know if it’s because I’m super old; I don’t know the average age of community college students. I just turned 21 a few days ago.</p>
<p>I have high functioning autism. I have gone through hell and back all my life to understand people.</p>
<p>How long are you going to wait until you transfer? Are you going to go to a CSU/Cal Poly/UC?</p>
<p>When I started in community college I had one positive influence in my life for the first semester that made me work incredibly hard and then a terrible influence in my life that really just caused trouble for me. I was attracted to really just throwing all caution to the wind, having a good time, staying out real late and doing idiotic stuff because it was “fun”. One day I realized my so-called friends were not friends at all. They constantly picked on me or made me feel like crap and they were going nowhere in their life. I pretty much wasted two years not really caring about my grades. My last year I had my head on straight cause they dropped out and I pulled myself together to transfer. I think I went from having 6-7 friends to 0 to 50. I had a lot of family issues too. Honestly, though…you should make friends by joining clubs or putting together study groups. That’s pretty much how I went from 0 to 50. I kept meeting with this guy I knew in my Linear Algebra class. We got to talking. Our physics lab partners were in that class, so we got together. The group grew bigger. People who knew more people made the group even bigger. </p>
<p>The guidance counselors are terrible, so I feel you. Just complete it if you’re going to a UC but if you’re wanting to transfer already I’d just go to a Cal Poly if you’re interested in STEM. I knew several people who didnt take a lot of courses I thought they were supposed to at my orientation.</p>
<p>Four years is too long to not know what to major in…have you not dedicated any time in the last four years to deciding what it would be? That is the typical career of an undergrad. If you’re good at math, do something in science or math. Engineering is typical. If not, then I can’t help you there. I don’t know many well paying jobs besides doctors since being a lawyer is in the slump and trying to do a business degree doesn’t help you that much unless you’re at UCLA/UCB I’d think.</p>
<p>I can relate to what you are going through right now. I’m 21 as well and this is my 4th year in a community college. I do have friends with me at my college, but we are slowly dying down and I don’t even talk to any of my friends as much anymore. In my case, I was always the shy guy and making friends was really hard for me. </p>
<p>I ONLY agree with CalDud with the fact that community college is probably not the best way to meet new people. I go to Fresno City College and some of the people I see over there are obnoxious drug addicts who take 2-3 easy classes such as only art. This semester, I only have one friend who I talk to and she doesn’t even go to my college. I gave up meeting new people over at community college because I’ll be done next year and it seems pointless for me to meet new people here, but hey, I let the river flow, so maybe I would here and there. I plan on going to UCSB or CSU Fresno afterwards, where I can meet new people over there comfortably. My sister goes to CSU and I’ve been there all the time and there are lots of comfortable people to talk to, I know it.</p>
<p>If you’re almost done with transfer, then it’d be best to just focus more on your studies and your career rather than stressing yourself on how to meet new friends at your college.</p>
<p>If that’s not a possibility, then you should join clubs. If you still have that good 4.0 GPA, you can check to see if your campus has an honor society for you to join. Or if you have a specific interest that your college has, then go for it. </p>
<p>Another way is to take a public speaking class. Not to say that you are shy or anything, but most people meet new friends in classes like these or even class in general where you do group projects and have partners. You can always befriend a partner. </p>
<p>There are days I do feel upset sometimes especially if I look on my Facebook or Instagram posts of friends hanging out and I’m here just studying. But I don’t let those things come over me. I always think to myself that I want to be an aerospace engineer not a host every Saturday night at a nightclub. Focus more on your studies, join clubs, and it doesn’t even have to be at the campus.</p>
It’s been proven that social media causes depression because of this. Definitely avoid it if it really affects you. This goes for OP as well.</p>
<p>I also agree that CC is not the best place to meet people. I think you’ll have a way better luck with: 1) transferring to a university where there is a DIVERSE group of people – meaning you’ll find people who appreciate your “weirdness” (this is coming from someone who’s really weird!) and 2) confidence really reflects on who you are. I understand and sympathize with your problems, especially your battle depression and other family circumstances, but if you let that affect you at school, it’ll scare people away. </p>
<p>I used to battle with depression and had other circumstances affecting me as well. I had difficulty in middle school and halfway through high school making friends. And even now, it kind of hurts to think about. But I’ve turned my negative energy to positive energy. I am an introvert, but I’ve had people tell me that I’m the most social butterfly, the happiest most bubbly girl they have ever met. Why? Because my negative energy is NEVER displayed unless I can trust the person. And I’m confident in myself in that I may be weird and have loser-ish qualities, but I’m confident that I also have qualities that people love. </p>
<p>I don’t know how you act in real life, but your posts on CC seem to have a very negative vibe. Make sure you don’t bring that out when you meet new people and be confident in yourself.</p>
<p>I am new to this forum so I’m not really sure this is the place to post this, but I too am having a lot of trouble making friends in college. I transferred last semester to a new school and was having no problem meeting people at first. I was invited out to parties and to hang out and I met a lot of people, but even though it seemed like I was getting along with the people I met, I slowly was invited to less and less until I never heard from my original “friends” anymore. My roommate is an international student with poor English language skills and he never wants to leave the room, so a social relationship with him is essentially impossible (as well as frustrating). I was starting to believe that there was something wrong with me, but then I went back home for christmas break and not only had a great time hanging out with my old friends, but also met some new people through them and actually started a casual relationship with a girl I met just within 3 weeks. Now I am back from break and already wish I was home, not due to homesickness, but because back in my hometown (a larger city) it seems that people naturally gravitate towards me. I have never had trouble finding friends so this newfound problem is really vexing for me. I don’t like how this is negatively affecting my self esteem and I want to just find my niche already. </p>
<p>I also tried joining clubs last semester as I have always heard that is a solid way for a transfer to make friends, and while they are a nice break from the routine of classes and studying, none of them meet often enough to actually allow any real friendships to form. I have made a bunch of acquaintances, but no one I would call a “friend.” Any advice?</p>
<p>Whoever tells you that college years are the best years of your life is obviously an idiot. Plain and simple. Just focus on your study, your problem is that you seem to think you’re going to die if you don’t have any friends. If you’re depressed, just go play video games or watch some comedies. Those people who constantly post pictures of them partying or hanging out obviously won’t put as much time into studying as you do. You have a different path in life, and they have their own business.</p>
<p>I understand how and why you’re frustrated, but this is the same issue that students from all age usually deal with. I prefer isolationism for myself, so I can’t relate very well to those who have this issue. If those around you treat you like a loser even though you have done nothing wrong, why even let that get to your head?</p>
<p>"I suspect that you’re probably a ■■■■■, but it’s 1:20 AM and I’m too tired to care. Just get your life together. "</p>
<p>Maybe you should stop smoking crack at midnight. You’re too tired to think straight. It took him that long to transfer, wanna know why? Work and a bunch of useless elective classes. Not to mention someone might have to change major after the first year.</p>