So I’ve been attending a community college since September of this year, and I love it, except for the fact that I have zero friends. I know no one here, and it’s fairly small, and it seems like everyone has at least 6 or 7 people that they’re really close with. All of the people in my classes have their own groups of friends, and I always feel left out. Whenever I do start talking to someone, it only lasts a couple of minutes before two or three others come and basically take over the whole conversation. At that point, I’m just out of the picture. I love having friends, and to not even have one is really frustrating. Back in public school, there were always people reaching out to me. But that doesn’t seem to happen in college. Some people told me to try joining clubs, but there are only a few, and I have no interest in any of them. What should I do?
Community College is really just an extension of high school. People don’t go to a CC for the “college experience”, they go to earn credits for less money and get their associates or transfer. Could you maybe force yourself to go to one club meeting? You might end up liking it.
I went to a few, actually, and didn’t like any of them. I just feel so lonely here, and I’m such a social person, which makes it hard to endure.
If you’re having a hard time meeting people at school you might need to get involved with things outside of school. A great way to meet potential friends is through a sports league, a part-time job or by doing volunteer work where you get to interact with other volunteers like, Habitat for Humanity. Another idea is to see if you can get involved in a political campaign. They always need help and this is the year for that. My guess is that if you start meeting people outside of school your confidence will grow and you will end up making friends at school. Don’t give up!!!
Grey…(as a former “shy teen” )…here is my advice…you need to introduce yourself by name. Once people know your name (and you know theirs), it get so much easier. Go up to someone just before or after class and say: “hi…I’m (your name).” Then ask them their name. Then make some chit chat about class. Next time you see them, you say “hey (their name)!” If they don’t seem to recall your name, say it again. “I’m (name) we met the other day…” Knowing names may seem like a simple thing, but it really works. When their friends come over and join, don’t shrink away. Introduce your self to them too. Ask if anyone is interested in forming a study group or going out for a cup of coffee or lunch after class. And here is another tip…get their contact information (cell, email) and text/email with questions/info about class, or an upcoming event that you think might interest them.
Don’t worry about looking pushy, or dorky, or annoying. You have to put yourself out there. Trust me, it will pay off!