I confess: I dropped out of college. Would you say I am lazy, stupid or a loser?

College Life
1

<p>I dropped out of college. I stopped going just short of graduation, and got straight Fs for the semester. I'm currently living on my own burning through my savings. I'm not supported by my folks except to the extent that a large part of my saving came from them originally. I suppose its a game of chicken. If I don't get a job, I don't eat, and I'm a malfunctioning program, because humans are just selfish-gene survival machines designed to ensure that chemical information in DNA survives and is self-replicated. The thing is sometime along the Darwinian process, critical thinking proved beneficial for one ape over the other. And for 99% of the population it is a pure benefit to the gene's goals. In my case though the monster has turned on the frankenstein creator. I'm just not motivated to work in this economy. I'd rather just mooch of my parents as long as possible and after that the deluge.</p>

<p>I'm just not going to act from any self-preservation. I'm not willing to take conscious action to struggle in the Darwinian struggle for existence and reproduction. Of course females prefer men with a job, and so-called independence. (Although I enjoy the maximum possible independence short of Walden, my only master is the ticking clock, so perhaps "independence" is not the admired trait afterall?) It is pointless to begrudge the mechanical genetic programming of Dawkin's survival machines. The ape-rapist best able to secure resources passes on its genes. There is nothing "conscious" about it. It is simply a tendency most likely to be preserve. If one is to be anthropomorphic one can call such behavior "cruel" or "sadistic", but it is simply a natural tendency to be preserved, even in humans. As Hume said one can not get ought from is. At first I was mystified by the human obsession with sex. For a long while I took a Calvinistic Puritan view that valued the reproductive values of sex against pleasure. Only a biological view, that it was indeed the genetic motive itself that produced such sex-cruelty made it comprehensible to me. So I'm pretty dismissive of the idea that a girlfriend offers any solution to metaphysical despair. Although I understand the genetic origins of such reasoning.</p>

<p>Which is insecurity, employment under the at-will principle which means I can be fired for any reason whatsoever, including doing anything whatsoever, including doing too good a job, filing a complaint, being a Dolphins fan, any reason whatsoever so long as it is not sexual or racial. That is independence? That is the definition of dependence, living at the whim of a master. Now the only thing that makes Choice A free, is Choice B, the option to opt out. But how real is Choice B? This all thread is about Choice B, and not one considers it very real. My postmodernist epistemology is that power is truth. So without making any attempt to find things as they objectively are, I would agree with the truth of power, that the free-market serves DNA. This is what the sociobiologists like Dawkins, Pinkard, Wilson, and Red Queen assume. Of course in the workplace it is precisely the primordial DNA of the caveape-rapist's sadism that is allowed to assume its natural form. Considering the cruelty inherent in man's DNA, it is amazing that for so many centuries man was able to mask his demonism under such heavenly rhetoric. Now the mask is thrown off. We have the most cynical rhetoric of any generation in history, yet in-spite of ourselves this is perhaps the gentlest time in history. Perhaps we slander ourselves with all the chest-pounding of how proud this age is of its cruelty and sadism. If human nature DNA is what Matt Ridley's Red Queen says it is, then Levin is of course right in saying that our current age is most in line with DNA having stripped away all beautiful noble lies. Why did man bother to come up with noble lies? In our current age, in what little remnants that remain, it is clear that it serves simply as a supplement to physicalist hedonism, another pleasure to be enjoyed. Is that the same purpose it served throughout history? Perhaps. Darwinian economist, Veblen showed how religion is a form of atavistic tribal hierarchy used to demonstrate status. If Veblen is right about religion it could also serve as the Darwinian-sadistic basis of all forms of virtue. But that does not mean there are no independent praiseworthy acts of virtue. Philosophy is also a creation of the selfish-gene and yet it can turn against is creator.</p>

2

<p>Seriously, does anyone have any real advice on how I can just drop out of society and the rat race? Its not healthy for me. And keeping a malcontent like me among society can’t be good for society either. For my own good and society’s I just need to be isolated from my “fellow” humans. they will only harm me, and I will only harm them. Thats what the Lutheran Kierkegaard thinks the Catholics got right and the Protestants are missing. The monasteries were a safety valve that allowed people antagonistic to this world, to escape it without disrupting the system. We really don’t have that in our age, other than the “choice” to starve on the street, which is where I’m headed. There really is no safety valve or escape hatch. I don’t know maybe there are some deserted islands out there in the Pacific, where I could literally be a Robinson Crusoe. Probably not realistic though. Well if those islands exists, I suppose its possible I could somehow get there with a few thousand dollars. I probably wouldn’t last long in the wild. But nature is a less cruel enemy than man. Nature will kill me but not enslave me. Or being a hermit somehow, but that takes capital. I just need to get away from it all.</p>

<p>I simply reject all social relations. I never want to see another human again. The very sight and smell of them repulses me. I’ve really lost touch. I just don’t get humans. I used to think I did. But the more I study them, the less I understand them. Or maybe I understand them empirically, I know what they actually do and on an intellectual scientific level I can understand their motivations partially. But I can’t get inside their heads. Their endless cruelty just escapes me. I mean I guess part of it is the Hegelian recognition, the master must enslave to be recognized. And Nieztche elaborated on it as the will to power. And you can try and make it scientific by just transmitting the Will to Gene. The human fascination and lust for cruelty just escapes me. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe that is what you need to survive, and I’m just a Darwinian miscarriage. Or maybe I have too much of Freud’s superego. I’ve internalized too much of what society SAYS is good and become that. In that sense I am the society I hate so much- personified. I’m the materialization of the spiritual imagination of society. Call me the Feurbachian God made flesh. I can understand the mind of God, which is the spirtitualization of society, more clearly than that of man. The regret at what man could have been and what he actually is before the flood. I suppose the God’s eye view of the universe, is a curse and burden to us worm, dust, dirt.</p>

<p>I belong in solitary confinement. The prison population of course is the embodiment and hyperdistortion of man’s will to power, although I would say the difference with the general population is only quantitative in nature. So obviously prison itself is no utopia. But solitary confinement in the “hole” would be my paradise. To be free from all human contact and all activity. To just sit in an empty cell 24 hours a day. And to have guards slide in the food. It has come to the point where my only conception of freedom is liberty from humanity. And so freedom becomes a prison cell. I guess at the rate I’m going I will probably end up in an insane asulym believing I’m Napoleon Bonaparte. As long as I make the leap of faith and truly believe I’m the Emperor, then nothing can imprison me. The insane asulym is in its own way a utopia, and it beats the streets. It is kind of like Plato’s Republic. With the Golden Guardians. Maybe I will memorize Napoleon’s memoirs and not let anyone convince me that I’m not Bonaparte. What could be a better life than living in Plato’s Republic convinced you are the Emperor.</p>

<p>Again there is no reason to challenge the empirical world. And what the biggest ape says is “truth” is truth. All I can do is in Kierkegaard’s way ask where is the role of the concrete individual in this grand scheme? The values of this society are not ones that contribute to a fulfilling life. They subject me to far more torment, than nature would. It maybe that society alone is what keeps me alive. That I’m simply not physically adapted to the Robinson Crusoe life. In fact I have no doubt that short of a Garden of Eden, a Crusoe life for me would be short, nasty and brutish. But what pain would I know? Hunger, thirst, disease, injury. And yet no wild lion, no virus, no storm may enslave me, dominate me, impose hierarchy. In this the Crusoe life is absolute freedom. And to the extent that I enjoy that life in my self-made prison of 4-walls, I’m free. Humans are biological, and biology is a pretty dark thing if Matt Ridley is right. For my part if escape and isolation is the best I can hope for, so be it. It can’t last long, it must lead to my destruction. My parents can support me for a while, and I feel that burden is upon them for forcing me into an unchosen birth and life. But I have no illusions that that can last indefinitely. Perhaps an insane asylum. All my basic needs would be met without work, a prison cell is not much different than where I’m now. And a combination of bad behavior and a retreat into delusion, could perhaps secure me a great degree of isolation.</p>

<p>I think for my personality relative isolation would be far worse than total isolation. I’m a spiteful resentful person who can not bear having my social betters above me. I’m in a period of relative isolation now having dropped of school and not seeking a job. Just living off my money which should last .5 to 1 year. I was friendly and jovial with my housemates at first, but now I try to avoid seeing them. The thing about my need for social isolation, is it stems more from existential metaphysics than anything personal. So I’m basically getting a taste of what living on a fixed income would be like now. And the USA has one of the worst welfare states in the world, we love the struggle to the death.</p>

<p>I’m thinking of committing myself, but not being cured. In a way it is utopian. Like Plato’s Republic being watched over by authoritarian all-powerful guardians who are trying to fix you. There is complete equality among inmates, all your needs are met without work, and no private property. The trade of security for freedom. But that is the nature of utopia, nearly all since Plato’s time have acknowledge the need for both the sacrifice of individuality and freedom, and a strong authoritarian bureaucracy. That is the type of power the asylum has over you, their power is institutionalized and bureaucratic like in a utopia. There is the loss of the human element. It is mechanical machine like. But it is precisely the human element of subordination, domination, and power that makes it so humiliating and unbearable. I would prefer to be a patient over an employee. A prison can be a utopia. Bentham’s utopia is designed as the perfect prison system. And of course the mental institution itself is the petproject of a plethora of progressive enlightenment reformers overcoming the dark of superstition with the light of science. It is itself a utopian project.</p>

3

<p>What ARE you talking about??</p>

4

<p>My vote goes with stupid.</p>

5

<p>pmvd why do you keep making new accounts?</p>

6

<p>You’re questioning the purpose of life itself apart from just reproduction, and although you haven’t found the ultimate alternative which would fit your perception of nirvana, which by the way does not exist, I would suggest that you just make the absolute best out of the predicament which faces all human beings, as the alternative is an even less fulfilling path of “mooching” off your parents, or simply taking on the inevitable and dying right now.</p>

<p>Although from an objective point of view you may not think that finding love nor joining society by working menial job in the grand scheme of things will quench your thirst for purpose, you would likely be best served to try as best as you can to attain these things, as they truly do bring great pleasure, which is, ultimately, the best you can squeeze out of life.</p>

<p>You may not be “special” in the mold of Albert Einstein, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t derive euphoric pleasure out of life if you invest your time in the appropriate fields, nor does it mean that you can’t make an impact on the world. </p>

<p>I think you need to get over the idea of joining a utopian world as it does not exist, and won’t in our lifetime; of course you could struggle to try to secure this ideal for future generations, but in all likelihood, your efforts will be in vain. As crude as it sounds, simply seek pleasure from life, which can go hand-in-hand with creating a better world, so that others, but not in our lifetime, won’t have to struggle with issues like you are.</p>

<p>As cliche as it sounds, find something that you really love, and there will be something, and commit yourself to it.</p>

<p>Irrespective of his rambling and creating of different accounts, pmvd could easily become suicidal because of his disillusionment with living at all, so the not-so-witty comments aren’t appreciated.</p>

7

<p>I’m gonna go with all of the above Trebek.</p>

<p>No seriously, stop reading so much into all the nihilist, evolutionary biology stuff because obviously you’re not using it the right way. </p>

<p>I’m not gonna write an essay for you, instead I’m going to write a couple lines. You only have one life, and realize that life can be a very pleasurable thing; sure, you could go off yourself because life has no meaning, or you could realize that life having no meaning doesn’t mean a damn thing. Just because life has “no meaning” doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time while you’re here. </p>

<p>Of course that’s working under the assumption that life has no meaning. If you actually read into the existentialist stuff you’d realize that life has meaning because you live it. It doesn’t matter if it has no meaning after you die, as long as it has meaning while you’re here, that’s all that matters. </p>

<p>I don’t really think you’re stupid, although you might be a little bit of a loser, and you do seem to have this ivory tower complex going on that makes you think you’ve figured out life because you’ve read some fancy schmancy *****<strong><em>. “Oh i’ve read all this *</em></strong> and life has no meaning, we’re all just evolutionary machines, i’m just gonna go stand in the corner now because i’m too big of a ■■■■■ to actually make something out of myself” blah *<strong><em>ing blah, cut the teenage girl pms angst out and grow up. who gives a *</em></strong> if we are evolutionary machines, it doesn’t change a thing. everyone could believe we’re evolutionary machines, then everyone could believe we’re gods created by a super god, and you know what? we’d all still be living just the same (except for persecution, using logic, etc. but we’d all still be humans, reproducing, etc just the same).</p>

8

<p>GET A JOB.
Your parents love you, but you should show them you love them too by trying to actually FUNCTION in society, and eventually, pay your parents back.</p>

<p>I say you are stupid, lazy, a loser, and ungrateful.</p>

9

<p>Move to Alaska. Like that “Into the Wild” guy.</p>

10

<p>PMVD, is it you again?</p>

11

<p>Who called it?</p>

<p>I did!</p>

<p>Check the first comment of the first thread of his. It’s mine :)</p>

<p>Edit: Okay, well the comment is deleted now, but I’m sure someone saw it and can back me up! </p>

<p>I’m taking this way too seriously…</p>

12

<p>Sounds like you’ve got an existential crisis on your hands.</p>

<p>But seriously, no one’s gonna read that wall of text.</p>

13

<p>Get a part-time job first.</p>

<p>Go to community college, take courses</p>

<p>Start over again (hopefully some colleges will accept you into 2nd or 3rd year)</p>

<p>And don’t fool yourself and be a loser again !!!</p>

14

<p>"Move to Alaska. Like that “Into the Wild” guy. "
yeah that guy was an idiot. i understand why he did it, and it is admirable, but he was inexperienced and didnt know what he was doing. he didnt even bring necessary things, and even with a map he would have survived.</p>

15

<p>“Seriously, does anyone have any real advice on how I can just drop out of society and the rat race?”</p>

<p>Stop posting on CC.</p>

<p>Get a job, any job. Save your money. Buy property in the hinterlands where you can be self sustaining. Move there.</p>

16

<p>Run for Congress. You’ll do just fine . . .</p>

17

<p>Would you say I am lazy, stupid or a loser?</p>

<p>Yes, all of the above. But not for dropping out of college- for having so much freakin time on your hands to ■■■■■.</p>

18

<p>Lol. He didn’t type that. Google this:</p>

<p>“The insane asulym is in its own way a utopia, and it beats the streets. It is kind of like Plato’s Republic. With the Golden Guardians. Maybe I will memorize Napoleon’s memoirs and not let anyone convince me that I’m not Bonaparte. What could be a better life than living in Plato’s Republic convinced you are the Emperor.”</p>

<p>It comes from a thread titled “Philosophy prevents me from getting job, what are my options?” in another forum. </p>

<p>What a ■■■■■.</p>

19

<p>Ah… Googling any of that would take way too much effort. lol</p>

20

<p>haha I would say you’re my hero…you should join the Pakistani militia. I think you will find what you need there.</p>