<p>I'm a 10th grade student recovering from an illness that left me out of school for many weeks. I'm trying to get everything made up for my classes to get back on track. Obviously, this is a really massive task and some of my teachers have been less then supportive. </p>
<p>Today I made up a French test before school. After I was done, my French teacher asked me how i was feeling emotionally about completing all of my homework. I told her the truth; it was very hard for me but I was plugging away at it. I also told her about my struggles with my math teacher (i.e. trying to force me to drop the class, not wanting to help me make up my work, and generally being surly and unapproachable). </p>
<p>She listened and told me how sorry she was. Later during my free period I was making copies and my math teacher comes into the copy room, full of other teachers and students, and begins to lecture/yell at me about how "She was not unapproachable and that I shouldn't be talking about her to the entire school and how she is offended that I don't think she wants to help me".</p>
<p>I listen to her and she leaves. I run to my guidance counselor's office crying and my counselor and I sit down with her. My math teacher tells me how much I hurt her feelings and then begins to lecture me about my pile of makeup work (as if I didn't already know?). I do apologize to her, it wasn't meant with any malice. I was really just telling my French teacher how I was feeling.</p>
<p>I am then instructed not to hold the fact that my French teacher repeated what i told her in confidence to my math teacher.</p>
<p>My question is... How do I handle this? My dad wants to go to the principal. My mom isn't sure. I kind of want to politely confront my French teacher, but I'm not sure. Anyone's opinion is welcome...</p>
<p>I’m really sorry that this happened to you. It sounds like there’s a “story behind a story” that probably has nothing to do with you. Why else would the math teacher become so upset. I think it’s a good idea for your parents to go to the principal. A teacher should not get that upset with a student in front of everyone, but it happens even to the best of teachers. If your parents have a reasonable discussion with the principal, it may clear the air and they may find out what’s happening. More importantly they’ll make sure that you have a safe, helpful environment to catch up in and thrive. You sound like a very caring, hard working student. My best to you and my best to the teacher who cared for you and even for the one who got upset as there’s probably a reason you don’t even know about.</p>
<p>Your parents should go directly to the Principal’s office tomorrow morning and discuss the unprofessional behavior of both teachers. If I were your parent, I would be in that office as soon as the door opens in the AM. I would also demand a meeting with both teachers present.</p>
<p>I agree with your Dad–they need to meet with the Principal ASAP–like tomorrow morning!</p>
<p>Perhaps you and your parents could request that the guidance counselor or principal work with you to help arrange a schedule for you to complete your make-up work. This would get the counselor or principal communicating with the teachers, instead of you being the only one to do it.</p>
<p>Thanks so much! Both of these teachers are not known for their “people” skills. My only concern is that I might have the same math teacher next year, so I am a bit tempted to let it be just for the sake of my grade…</p>
<p>I’m sorry for your struggles. My daughter has also missed a lot of school, and she had some teachers who were very understanding and some who gave her a really hard time. She worked very hard to keep up with her work, but for some teachers that wasn’t enough.</p>
<p>The first thing we did was get a 504 plan for her which allowed her extra time to make up her work. The guidance department should be able to help with that. Her guidance counselor intervened a lot with teachers. </p>
<p>With one teacher who didn’t get it despite being spoken to numerous times, the head of guidance had to actually sit the teacher down and say “she has a bone tumor and has had six surgeries already, do you think you could give her a break?” He then apologized to us for telling the teacher what was wrong, but sometimes they need to be hit over the head.</p>
<p>I have wanted to speak with teachers and my daughter has requested that I don’t. Unfortunately, some teachers retaliate against the student and she had to stay in the class the rest of the year. The guidance counselor now hand picks her schedule so she has teachers that are more understanding.</p>
<p>One thing I have learned through all of this is that many teachers have a serious lack of compassion, which is sad. We view everything that my daughter goes through as a lesson learned. She knows life is not fair and in the real world some people really don’t care.</p>
<p>Your French teacher was probably just trying to help by speaking with your math teacher. I would let it go. Any further discussions regarding any teachers should be between you and your guidance counselor. Hopefully, she knows how to speak to the teachers with tact.</p>
<p>Sorry this is so long. It breaks my heart when good kids are treated poorly. Good luck.</p>
<p>I think you and your parents ought to go to the principals office with your guidance counselor and discuss your whole situation- your illness, how many weeks your were out of class, what you are doing to make up the work and what you need from your teachers. It’s not too early to request that your guidance counselors report to colleges will mention your long illness and absence when explaining your grades this semester. Then discuss the conversation that you had[ in confidence you thought] with your French teacher and what happened next. But before you go in you may want to think long and hard about what would be the best and worst outcomes from this conversation. Do you want to move to another math class with a lower work load and a more sympathetic teacher? It is even possible at this point? Will you realistically be able to make up the work in your present math class AND stay healthy? The fact that your math teacher seemed to be acting like an immature teenager herself, rather than as an adult, is not a good sign. So I would have both and your parents state that under no circumstances will you be taking math from the same teacher next year.</p>
<p>Please–Do not let it be. Let your parents meet with the Principal. If you allow this incident to go unnoticed and unaddressed, these teachers will continue with their behavior (not only with others, but specifically regarding you).</p>
<p>Dkitty21, I’m the first from my school to have an illness like this and they don’t quite know what to do. How did you get a 504? I’m not sure my guidance department would know enough to help…</p>
<p>Both teachers behaved horribly. One betrayed a confidence and the other was a complete jerk.</p>
<p>If I were your parent, I would not back down. I would demand an apology from BOTH teachers and I would insist that the principal give them a little instruction on professional behavior with students.</p>
<p>This is not something a student can really handle by herself because (sadly) the teachers probably won’t be too honest and “man up” without the adults confronting the situation.</p>
<ol>
<li> Have your parents meet with the Principal TOMORROW morning.<br></li>
<li> After addressing the issue regarding the inappropriate behavior of the two teachers, have them bring up the request to pursue a 504. Every public school district is well aware of how the procedure works.<br></li>
<li> Your Dad is right. It’s time for your parents to step in now.</li>
</ol>
<p>A 504 plan is used a lot for kids with learning disabilities. I didn’t even know we could get one for a medical issue, but DD’s guidance counselor suggested it and it has been a godsend. </p>
<p>It’s basically a form that’s filled out outlining any accommodations you might needs; ie; a second set of books at home, extra time to complete work. If you google it you can see sample plans. It’s very common. </p>
<p>When I said “Let it be” I didn’t mean it’s okay for a teacher to treat you badly. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, and our battle is medical right now. We really can’t be bothered dealing with crappy teachers. We leave those battles to the guidance department. Her counselor is very young but has stepped to the plate remarkably well.</p>
<p>Great advice! The 504, the meeting with the principal w/the guidance counselor, a plan to make up work! Let your parents read this thread and again, best of luck in this tough situation.</p>
<p>Good advice, and I second the suggestion that you pursue a 504 plan. Did your school ever suggest homebound education (which is NOT home schooling) while you were unable to attend classes? </p>
<p>It is good to want to take care of things yourself, and when you get to college you’ll need to, but this is a case where your mom and dad can really help.</p>
<p>Best of luck, and I hope you continue to get better day by day.</p>
<p>Thanks so much all! We’ve decided that Dad will write an email to the principal and see if he wants to meet to discuss the behavior of Math teacher, and I will go to French teacher separately to let her know the consequences of her little “slip”. </p>
<p>I feel so much better about this whole thing. It really is a shame when teachers become bullies to their students. Thanks!</p>
<p>well done! and what ever you do, don’t take your Jr math class from her next year!!! the letters of recommendations from your Jr year teachers are the ones colleges will want to read, and an immature teacher that gets in trouble is more likely than not to take it out on the student who got her in trouble. At the very least her LOR may “damn you with faint praise”. word to the wise- avoid her class next year like the plague.</p>
<p>This was extremely unprofessional behavior on the part of both teachers. You and your parents are justifiably upset about it and the principal should be the one to address it. He can likely do so and get the matter resolved without ruffling more feathers. But, if you want to avoid that possibility of the situation getting worse, you should speak with them privately about it. Let French know that you considered your conversation a private one and let Math know that what she heard second-hand was taken out of context and was not intended as a slur. The main thing for you and your parents to concentrate on is getting the help you need to stay on track!</p>
<p>Just a word of caution with the 504 plan. Your school may or may not be willing to go that way. It means you have a disability that does not require specially designed instruction (special ed) but does require accommodations. These plans are used for students with learning disabilities and also health or physical problems. Your school may be more lenient but at my school it must be a problem that will continue to cause issues and not a short term solution to catching up from an illness.</p>
<p>I agree that meeting with the principal and sorting the whole mess out. If they agree that a 504 plan is appropriate go for it. I hope you feel better and get caught up quickly.</p>