<p>Working on her with her essays was a breeze--starting with quality material. On the other hand, trying to pull meaningful statements about himself from my son makes him writhe and moan. His default stance seems to be self-deprecation and deflection of any seriousness. Maybe it's a teenage boy thing.</p>
<p>On the other hand, he's whipped out some truly good 150 word essays, so I know it's IN THERE. I just have to get him to commit to it!!</p>
<p>One thing that has helped my son tremendously is approaching the essays as if they are English class essays about a work of literature, in which the applicant is the protagonist. I’m not suggesting that he write in the third person, only that he think of the project with that mindset.</p>
<p>There are very few great writers graduating from high school - courtesy of the level of teaching at that level. Students are forced to abandon the first person and espouse the soulless mechanical format that yields the horrible essays of teenagers. Average writers can and do reach an acceptable level by … editing their work over and over. </p>
<p>Boys are just lazier and do not enjoy rewriting. Yet, there are no shortcuts. </p>
<p>Xiggi, in our case the boy was an excellent writer who liked to write and had written a lot as a journalist in h.s. That he was a prodigious reader helped a lot. His long and short essays required virtually no editing. I made a few comments on his draft; he produced a final copy. Our daughter is a less expressive writer (and less of a reader than her brother) but she understood how to construct an informative narrative about herself. I pointed out some grammatical issues. She fixed them and the essays weren’t perfect but were authentic (they were HER). Together they got into all but one of the colleges to which they applied.</p>
<p>I don’t think there’s a formula for learning to write – except lots of reading and lots of writing. For college essays, a good approach is to read drafts aloud to oneself to get a sense of how others might “hear” the essays. Of course, the essays have to be on topic, i.e., respond to the prompts. But there’s a whole lot of leeway beyond that.</p>
<p>Well my daughter helped her ex boy friend with the essays. He originally wrote he liked playing music or guitar in a band because they are chicks magnet or something stupid like that. He did get to transfer successfully to her school sophomore year but she did help him rewrite the essay.</p>
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My daughter wrote self-deprecating, humorous & sometimes flippant essays… and got into all of her reaches. (Chicago, Barnard, NYU). </p>
<p>Are you complaining that your son’s writing style is bad? (or that the humor falls flat or is inappropriate). Or is the problem a mismatch between your son’s idea of what he wants to write and yours?</p>
<p>I thought my daughter’s essays really gave a flavor of her personality. Her GPA and LOR’s let the colleges know she was smart and a serious and well-respected student in class – the essays shows that she is a fun and charming person who doesn’t take herself too seriously. </p>
<p>A kid can follow all the rules and produce a boring do-no-harm essay… or a kid can break a few rules and write an essay that is refreshing for its candor or puts a smile on the face of the admission readers with its wit. You’ve got maybe 10-15 minutes to “close the sale” by winning over the reader and making the application memorable. It’s 9 years down the line and I still remember every one of my d’s short answers… so be careful of how much you press your son to conform to yours or anyone else’s expectations. </p>
<p>If the mechanics of the writing are the problem – grammar and spelling --that’s another matter. (But one which might suggest that the applicant should reconsider target colleges).</p>
<p>Massmom, good idea–I’l float that by him. No, I don’t think he’s a bad writer, and the problem is not mechanics. I don’t think I’m trying to do it my way vs his way…I think he has been resentful of the time involved, and that has been reflected in his half-assed main essay. I swear the whinyness was audible. I do believe I got through to him last night, and today he seems committed. Thanks for listening to my vent.</p>
<p>DS didn’t want the college coach services we offered. But he did accept help from a hired essay coach … she helped him with what I refer to as “tone and topic”. He’s a wonderful writer. But like many teens, it was hard for him to hone in on appropriate writing for college essays. </p>
<p>Having said that, per my research since… there are many colleges where essay counts very little in the application process. </p>
<p>I didn’t read my son’s essay until I stumbled on it going through all the of college stuff to box up or toss. I am sure if I had read it before he submitted it, I would have tried to get him to change it. After I read it he told me he wrote it in 15 minutes. </p>
<p>Fortunately for him, I didn’t read it before submission as he got accepted everywhere he applied. </p>
<p>“His default stance seems to be self-deprecation and deflection of any seriousness”</p>
<p>Hate to say it, but maybe that’s his voice and you will kill his essays by editing it away. Maybe let him write them himself?</p>
<p>You can be formal and a good writer without necessarily being somber. “self-deprecation and deflection of seriousness” can be a bad thing or not depending on the context. Essays in my opinion are intensely subjective and personal anyway – the way your essay is received can literally vary from day to day and reader to reader. That’s good and bad. </p>
<p>“self-deprecation and deflection of seriousness” - something pretty close to this worked for my younger son. I found it helpful to remind my kids that the essay wasn’t about boasting about your accomplishments, but making the admissions officer think - this kid would be a fun/interesting person to have in my class, in my dorm, on my team, in my club. If you can pull it off humor can be really work well.</p>
<p>Thanks all. I promise I’m not squashing his “voice” or making it boring or boasting or a recitation of his cv. I’m pushing him past “lots of cool stuff” “stuff like that” and “something else I suck at.” I read that and despair, then I read his lyrical 100 word essay for USC about musing over physics problems while zoning out in orchestra class and I know he CAN do this. I didn’t touch that one–it was perfect from the get-go. And he has plenty of humor in them–I’m not scared of that either.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s that the main essay was missing self-awareness? </p>
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<p>Such an important comment. I used to write/edit for a living and have had to disqualify myself from reading our son’s essays as I know I would kill the spirit in them. (Guess I’m not that good of an editor.) I have read a lot of college essays and am always most impressed by those with a very clear voice whether or not the mechanics are perfect. Once the “kid” has been taken out, the essays go flat for me no matter how well-written.</p>
<p>@emilybee: I’m going to wait to go through that box some years hence and hope I have both a good laugh and validation of my judgment for staying out of the way.</p>