<p>DadII, celebrate the acceptance and wait until the final financial aid offer from Vandy. You may be surprised. The last thing to also consider is that you’ll have a few years where your EFC will be almost divided among your two children.</p>
<p>Remember, Dad II, there are generally partial merit scholarships that have no name and are not distributed until April. (At least that has been true in the past.)</p>
<p>Here is a tactical consideration: if your daughter does not attend MOSAIC without a very good and provable reason, will the evident lack of interest guarantee that she will not be offered one of the residual merit awards? If she hasn’t personally visited the campus, perhaps it would be a good idea.</p>
<p>My son found it to be a different place than he expected, based on one friend’s report and out of date anecdotes from others who hadn’t been there in years.</p>
<p>Just some thoughts.</p>
<p>I think it is interesting that Vanderbilt has a special program to attract Asians (I know MOSAIC has expanded to include other minorities). I just haven’t come across a school to view Asians as a plus. It’s nice to know.</p>
<p>Vandy acceptance is nice. It gives me some peace of mind that DD is competitive at this range of schools.</p>
<p>I envy those of you who are comforting your kids through the disappointments. S clams up when there is a disappointment and gets grumpy if we try to talk about it. I guess everyone deals with these things in a different way.</p>
<p>I understand those worried kids who are afraid they won’t get in anywhere. I am having a crisis of confidence that S’s safest school wasn’t safe enough. He is eligible for “academic admittance” (automatic admittance) at one of our state u’s, but they lost his transcript (and when I inquired about it, said not to send another one because they were backlogged on filing), so now we have to appeal to have them reconsider his “late” application. I know we could push this through. We have some very good connections at this university who could help him.</p>
<p>So, the ace in the hole doesn’t feel like an ace in the hole anymore. Other than this state u, all the other schools he applied to were for the film programs. Those are so competitive…we should have looked at a second choice major and applied to another set of schools. Okay, I know…I’m nervous and second guessing. Thanks for listening. :-)</p>
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<p>timely - you are comforting him by giving him the space he needs to work through it. Not comforting him would be to nag and nag and nag him into talking about it. Not all comfort that parents refer to here are of the direct “come cry on my shoulder” kind. I think the best support you can offer is to listen when they want to talk, although it might not be for weeks.</p>
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Many elite LACs treat Asians as URMs.</p>
<p>Timely,
My younger son is the sort who doesn’t want to talk about his disappointments. At some point, he’ll come around, but first he needs time to mull, mope, and be alone. It’s hard for me to stand back because I’m one who wants to talk things through, but as long as it’s clear he’s dealing in a healthy way (even it’s not the way I’d choose), I have to respect it.</p>
<p>He injured his back halfway during football season, just as he earned starting spots on both sides of the line, and he handled it in an incredibly mature manner. He spent two days keeping to himself; one of those we let him stay home from school, and by the end of the weekend he had a plan for staying in shape, keeping his grades up, and getting back to karate and football ASAP. Knocked us out.</p>
<p>CountingDown - Now THAT’s really something to be proud of! Y’know sometimes on this forum we get all puffed up about our kids scores, grades, rank, etc, etc, etc. The truth is, what your son did speaks volumes about the kind of person he is.</p>
<p>I also have a child who generally needs less comforting and talking. It is not my style - I could talk things to death - but I have learned to truly respect her approach. I remind myself that God gave me two ears and one mouth & I try to use them accordingly!</p>
<p>I’m coming late to this thread but I agree with Jazzymom and the EveryDad idea (apologies to poster who coined that.)</p>
<p>DII takes things hard. Some of us do.</p>
<p>But it’s helpful to realize that these negative feelings, anxieties, despair, despondency have more to do with past hurts and experiences than a realistic appraisal of current situation.</p>
<p>I know that when I am swamped with negative emotions (can be from a trivial cause to others) that rational assurances don’t really work.</p>
<p>And I also know that a lot of us parents have irrational responses to this college acceptance/scholarship process. Haha. It seems especially set up to push our buttons: is our child worthy/are we worthy?</p>
<p>Of course, as many posters have pointed out, that’s not really what’s at stake. Of course our children are worthy, and of course we are too.</p>
<p>But DII is a mirror and magnifying glass to what many of us feel or have felt. Reason enough to continue to hold his hand.</p>
<p>Hang in there!</p>
<p>And work to separate the current situation from the reservoir of negative feelings that come up with disappointment. That’s the challenge.</p>
<p>thanks mythmom.</p>
<p>One poster said that some of my threads attract more readers/responses than average threads. I think one of the reasons, as many stated, is that I talk about common things that some others might like to keep them private. </p>
<p>Some also pointed out, for good or bad, that I am a very tpical “asian parent”. I think all parents would like to talk about their kids. WHen we were attending the state U scholarship competition, I experienced it the first hand. In the conference center, there were two white couples sitting a row apart not far from us. Their voice was so loud that 1/2 of the people may have heared them. "she wants to go to Harvard.. our EFC is …, what about xxxx U? etc etc. In other words, it does not matter what race we are. We all talk about our kids very proudly.</p>
<p>worknprogress,
Thanks, we are really proud of him. He is a real mensch, which is what we hope for our kids to become – caring, thoughful, concerned people – it’s not just about the academic stuff. And today is his 16th bday! 
Got him a hot yellow Corvette and a driver’s license manual. (I should disclose that the hot yellow Corvette is a matchbox car. Longstanding running joke between us. Our EFC does not include a vehicle!)</p>
<p>Turns out he was playing with a stress fracture in one of his vertebra for most of the season – no neuro symptoms AT ALL – just muscle tightness, which we all attributed to three hours a day of practice. We have since learned he has what’s called a “pars defect” – it’s a genetic thing, and the orthopedist said most people who have it never know they do. Unless…one is a gymnast, a football lineman (esp. defense), or had a big growth spurt. He’s 2 for 3 on that score. He hopes to be able to play this fall once he gets through physical therapy and gets into really good shape. The best protection seems to be to have excellent core trunk strength.</p>
<p>So, we’ll see how it goes – the day we found out, I picked him up from school, told him, took him to tell the coaches, got in the car to go home, and by the time we passed the practice field, he wanted to return to practice to cheer on the guys. If he doesn’t get to play, I suspect he will remain involved with the team, whether in training/conditioning, academic tutoring and/or managing.</p>
<p>DadII
Congratulations to your daughter on her Vanderbilt admission. I believe what others have said is true–that you may be surprised by Vanderbilt’s financial aid package. My D was an admit 4 years ago. She received her financial aid information after her admissions letter. Surprisingly her award from Vanderbilt was significantly higher than from Emory–two very similar schools. We were not expecting that at all, particularly because she’d “shown the love” alot to Emory and we’re Georgia residents.</p>
<p>Anyway, what we really learned from all this is that you really don’t know what your child will get from any school until they get it. Predictions, in our cases, were almost always wrong.</p>
<p>The hard part is patience. Dealing with the rejection that comes along the way is tempered by the successes that often come from unexpected corners.
Please continue to keep us posted.</p>
<p>Dad II–just a few thoughts about the numerous posts over the past several months–it is a very reckless thing to constantly trash a school and at the same time hold your hand out expecting them to pour great sums of money into your palms–when you heard that Ohio State was “only” offering full tuition to NMF’s and not room, board, etc on top of that, you went into a hissy fit and declared how you were thrilled that they had lost to Illinois and that you were rooting against them–you were upset that your D was applying to such a “second-rate” school, and then your big concern on scholarship day was that the school provide free lunch to the parents and not just to the students. I’m only saying this because I was there this past weekend and all of the kids in the honor dorms are taking great delight in following your posts, even to the point of creating t-shirts with the logo “Dad II” in a circle with a line across it. I told them that it was not fair to judge a child by the sins of the parent, and that your D could very well be a very nice, considerate girl–but your postings are very erratic. They are hoping that you will decide to go far away from Columbus, but when a final decision is made, just remember that your words will follow you for a long time. Plus, I know all about the big scholarhsips that are given–your D’s involvement in EC’s are what make the difference, not how much she studies–perfect SAT’s in that crowd are a dime a dozen–its her other interests that are the deciding factor.</p>
<p>Thanks, recfn for those points. </p>
<p>Up to date, I still not quite understand why some said I trash the state U. It is the fact that NMF’s award was reduced from tuition + $4500 to tuition only. Talking negatively about that is trashing? </p>
<p>Also, my reference has been that for the SAME cost, I would rather pay for a higher rank school.</p>
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Wow! Most people burn their bridges after they have crossed them. DadII had managed to burn his D’s bridge before she even took a step. Next I envision any female Asian student matriculating at Ohio State next fall wearing a t-shirt announcing “I’m not DadII’s daughter!”</p>
<p>I understand the cautions, and also their context. To some degree, I agree that they’re necessary. But given that OSU might very well be where Daughter II ends up next year, and especially given the possibility that she’s lurking around here herself, maybe it’s best to focus on the positives (which are plentiful), and/or move some of this to PM’s. At the very least, to remember that there is a teenage daughter in all of this…</p>
<p>In recent threads, all that I’ve seen Dad II say re: OSU has been in line with his post #155. His comments were never exceedingly generous, and have often warranted debate, but they’ve also been misinterpreted and/or blown out of proportion in many of their re-tellings. As for anything else that may have been said–and I’m sure I’ve missed plenty–it’s done, and for better or for worse, un-editable. </p>
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<p>^ Absurd. I certainly can’t say whether or not it’s true, but it’s absurd.</p>
<p>no shortage of silliness in this world.:)</p>
<p>Naah. Student 615, the OP has made his “not good enough for my D with her stats” position quite clear. Defend him all you want, but don’t try to re-write what for most of us has been quite clear. OSU Honor’s is not worthy of his money or his daughter. </p>
<p>How much do you think the T-shirts cost in a XXXL? </p>
<p>BTW: If such a thing does exist, and I’m certainly not convinced it does - cool it OSU kids. The D is not to blame and this will slop over on her.</p>
<p>“One poster said that some of my threads attract more readers/responses than average threads. I think one of the reasons, as many stated, is that I talk about common things that some others might like to keep them private.”</p>
<p>I can not account for others, but the reason I like to see what you write is NOT because you express what I’m thinking or have experienced. Rather, I find what you write so fascinating because its sooo discordant with my own viewpoint and experience. But that’s good, it makes for interesting reading!</p>