<p>So pretty much over the last few days, my parents came to know about something I did in my personal life that made them lose all trust in me. So much that I have jeopardized my future in Michigan....I am banned from the state. I have no idea what to do and I am absolutely devastated. I don't know yet if I've been accepted, but if I do, I'll probably feel a lot worse knowing that I got in but can't go. I know no one on this forum can change the situation but at least I feel a little better posting this :(</p>
<p>Your parents banned you from the state? How is that even possible? Or was this with law enforcement?</p>
<p>Good thing you explained to us what you did. Solid thread.</p>
<p>lol, i can’t explain because it’s not really appropriate and it’ll be taken down. if you really want to know PM me.
and no, it’s not law-enforcement, i didn’t do anything that would get me in trouble with the law at all. just the type of thing that happens when a rebellious kid clashes with the conservative image.</p>
<p>and i honestly don’t know why i posted this thread. i guess i was just really depressed…i had to take my michigan posters down in my room which have been there for years now…so yeah. sorry</p>
<p>Very confused… are you saying that your parents won’t let you go to college at Michigan (or in the state of MI) because of this action on your part? They might relent… don’t give up. Be a “super good kid” (or their idea of one) for the next month of so. Stow the rebellion until September; once you are at college you will be able to do what you want a lot more, and they won’t really know.</p>
<p>Interesting thread. Go apologize to your Mom+Dad, and keep waiting for your decision. If apologies don’t work, I highly recommend California!</p>
<p>yeah, they won’t let me go to uofm, or any other college except for local ones. because of something that I did when I was in Michigan last summer. I’m not from Michigan, I live in Texas. my parents don’t want me to step foot there ever again.& I doubt they’ll relent but whatever. and there’s not much I can do to rebel anyway lol; no car, no computer, no bedroom door, no bedroom (I have to be under their watch and at night keep The door open), no tv.</p>
<p>how was the sex/drug?</p>
<p>“how was the sex/drug?”</p>
<p>Inquiring minds want to know! 
</p>
<p>Parents are real suckers faiintx. Let things cool off for a day or two, and then have a talk with them. I find that the divide and conquer approach works best. Which your parents is the “softie”. There’s always one that’s easy…er to butter up. Zero in on that parent first, make her/him feel sympathy for you, even if she/he does not agree with you, and half the battle is won. Make sure you approach this from their point of view. Respect your parents’ opinions, do not try to make excuses for whatever it is your did…or didn’t do. Above all, be humble and remain calm.</p>
<p>Sounds like you’re in a really uncomfortable and unusual situation. I don’t have any advice to give, but I hope everything works out alright.</p>
<p>The no bedroom door seems quite extreme. Do you have an adult you trust that you can talk to about this?</p>
<p>Yeah, I mean things are a little calm now since its been 5 days. Last night they said The same thing so I know they mean it. they said not to even look at the email because it doesn’t matter. I guess I’ll wait for my decision and tale it from there though I’m secretly hoping I don’t get accepted,
and an adult I can trust? not really lol. my brother said he would help once I find out my decision. (He’s almost 22,about go graduate) but he’s had his fair share of trouble sooo I dont know if there is much he can do</p>
<p>I guess the question is whether or not you actually regret the action that your parents disapprove of. If you don’t regret it, then you’re not likely to genuinely share their particular set of values and will just have to suck it up, go to the local college/u, do well, and bide your time until you’ve graduated and can apply to post-grad programs as an independent.</p>
<p>However, if you actually made an error in judgement and you secret agree that you shouldn’t have done whatever you did, here are some ways to ameliorate your situation:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Express your genuine regret and discuss what you learned. Your parents are likely pulling the “money-for-school-power-card” on you because they fear you are not presently mature enough to manage yourself at an away school and the stakes, financially, are high for them.</p></li>
<li><p>Demonstrate through your conduct that you are mature, capable, organized and high achieving and that you would be “a good investment” in terms of college funding. After all, there are a million other things your folks could spend $200,000 – provided they even have it.</p></li>
<li><p>Consider asking them if the Michigan veto is actually due to a fear that you are not mature/responsible enough to be away, or if in fact, the truth is that they just can’t afford OOS tuition at Michigan without enormous sacrifice and imperiling their retirement funding. If the REAL TRUTH is that they’re kind of looking for excuses not to have you go to Michigan, it might be that they’re financially terrified of the prospect, and are taking their angst out a little on you.</p></li>
<li><p>If you have a hunch that this latter is true, have a frank discussion about what’s affordable to them, what YOUR SHARE will be in terms of loans, and working during the school year, what their expectations are in terms of performance, and then agree that if the package is below that realistic threshold, you will not go if accepted.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I think the OP should find some professional help if it is available. If it is difficult to find, perhaps a school guidance counselor or clergy could help. It may also help patch things up with the parents if the OP accepts the Michigan veto and pursues a different opportunity. Michigan is a great place but it is not the only great place. Perhaps also the parents really don’t want to send OP to Michigan (it may be too expensive or they may perceive it as a bastion of liberalism) and are using this as an excuse.</p>
<p>No, I should have known this would happened, & I shouldnt have done what I did. They were willing to send me(though we haven’t had a detailed discussion yet since I don’t know if I got accepted) despite the costs because they knew how much I wanted to go there/Michigan is prestigious. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I’ll update of anything does</p>
<p>Well what can they do? You’ll be over 18. If you can find the financial means to go to college, then your parents “banning you from Michigan” or anywhere else won’t really matter.</p>
<p>Hmm. I come from Michigan (and went to U of M), and can’t actually imagine any kind of trouble you can get in there that could not also be found at almost any other college! Being at a college close to home will not matter if you are in a dorm anyway. If they think sex & drugs do not exist at Texas colleges, I am pretty sure they are wrong. Now… they may not be willing to pay OOS tuition for a kid they think is not respecting their rules, etc. That is probably the biggest issue – it is financially a stretch for them to send you, and they feel like somehow you have spit in their faces on their values. I don’t see how “professional help” is the answer here. I think big-time sucking up and repentance is the only path to being a Wolverine now. You have over two months to win them over until May 1 (if you do get in). I say start TODAY with your campaign of “being good” and humble and ashamed of whatever your did. And… as a parent, I do agree that the divide & conquer/“softie” approach may help. </p>
<p>Also… at least make your brother think you are truly repentent. A third (maybe respected?) voice can help sway them. Or if you have someone else they would listen to, like an aunt/uncle/grandparent. But do NOT go make your case about how you were right and they were wrong. You want that person to say that you HAVE learned from your experience and just want another chance.</p>
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<p>Pretty much no 18 year old has the financial means to pay OOS tuition at Michigan alone. Even if he could take out the loans, it would take a llooonnggg time to pay off the debt. He needs his parent’s help.</p>
<p>Thank you guys so much. I really do feel a little hopeful after reading your replies</p>
<p>im pretty sure a parent aint gonna ban their kid from a state (or even a univ) bcoz of sex or drugs…
to the OP: dude are u (u on ur own. not ur parents) financially alright? if yes, just runaway. they aint gonna be able to stop u. if not? do what post #9 and #13 say…</p>
<p>I am definitely not financially independent and even if i was, 50 k per year is nearly impossible for me to pay by myself. but yeah I’ll just see what happens from here</p>