<p>Frequently, when people make suggestions, you say, "yes, but," indicating that suggestion won't work. It also seems that you haven't given organizations or activities much of a chance. It can take a couple of months to get to know people. Most places do seem cliquey when one is a bit shy and one doesn't know many people. You have to keep showing up and reaching out. What may seem like "cliquiness" to you may be other students' shyness.</p>
<p>I hope you'll follow-up on the advice to go to your college counseling center. They can help determine whether depression (which can lead to a pessimistic outlook) and/or shyness and lack of social skills are related to your concerns. All of these things would be fairly easily treatable, and the counseling center probably is very used to helping students with such difficulties.</p>
<p>"It also seems that you haven't given organizations or activities much of a chance"
yes i have. last quarter, i went to the astronomy club for almost the entire quarter. most of the people already knew each other, so all the new members, not just me, eventually stopped showing up. they simply did not care about us.
the academic decathlon i went to for a few weeks, the other kids knew so much more than me, it was embarassing. plus, i joined in the middle of the quarter, so again, everyone already knew each other</p>
<p>"I hope you'll follow-up on the advice to go to your college counseling center. "
i already made an appointment</p>
<p>look i feel you, but it seems like you just explain most thing with " everybody knew each," "they dont care". i know some of these people can be assess and are not always open, but it is up to you to go to them; shake their hand and say hey im ____. make small talk, find something interesting in their conversation and work with it.</p>
<p>most importantly, i think since this is something i kinda messed up is "getting their numbers"<br>
that way you can call them up, hey do you want to do something or catch up for lunch.</p>
<p>Of course people already know eachother. One can never have too many friends though, so I truly doubt that someone will blow you off because they already know people. Think about it from their perspective: why would they want to go up to talk to some guy who doesn't want to talk to other people and may be arrogant (shyness can be easily mistaken as arrogance or narcissism)? You have to take the first step if you want something, the only one that can help you is yourself.</p>
<p>Community service clubs usually are delighted to have new members, and make them very welcome. Helping others also is a great way of meeting people and lifting your own spirits.</p>
<p>OP...Northstarmom offers some of the best insight and input on CC. You really should listen to her and take one bit of her advice at a time. See the counselor first, then I suggest following her social advice. </p>
<p>Remember, having lots of "friends" is not a great goal if they don't honor and treasure you. It is far better to seek out one or two people who value you for who you are.</p>
<p>alright, so my plan is to get involved with the physics club, tennis, and volunteer work (mainly tutor high schoolers and middle schoolers). i may add another club or do physics research with a prof if i have more free time. is this too much/little? i also have to deal with a fairly tough schedule of classes.</p>
<p>Do your volunteer work through an organization that has meetings, so you'll also get a chance to meet other college students. In terms of volunteering tutoring kids (It's great that you plan to do this because it's hard to find people with strong math/science skills to do that), look for a way to do this with a college organization that does it at a community center or at a specific day at a local school. That way, you'll get to meet the other college students who are volunteering.</p>
<p>Look for volunteer activities that are done in a group such as helping out with a Valentine's party for kids at the homeless shelter or seniors. Any service activity that you can do as part of a group of college students would be a great way to meet people. </p>
<p>You also can help create activities like this. Examples include having some kind of fun math games night for elementary school students, or a physics circus for middle school students. If you propose something like this, expect that a couple of dedicated people will help you while other students may love the idea, but won't manage to help. That's typical. The dedicated students who help, though, will be come your closest friends.</p>
<p>Try out your EC current schedule to see whether it works with your classes. When it comes to EC, you'll meet more people by getting deeply involvedin a couple of activities than by just going to meetings of a lot. One makes friends by doing the hard work of club projects together.</p>