<p>Listen, I appreciate it is frustrating, because my own parents way back when would not help me finance my university degree.</p>
<p>Here’s what I think would help your situation. First, take a very deep breath and just trust the process to a degree. Second, have a conversation with your parents, that goes along the lines of:</p>
<p>These are the schools I would like to attend. We will not be eligible for federal need based financial aid, but $5500 in students loans will be available to me, and parent plus loans will be available to you if you are willing to take them. I may be able to receive merit money. Are you able to help me with tuition and living costs…(or is another family member able to help…) If not, what is your advice about what I should do. I will not be able, as a student, to borrow the cost of attendance. </p>
<p>Third, here are some concepts you need to get a firm grasp on:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Public versus private schools, in-state versus out-of-state – also explain this to your parents. Privates are more expensive but sometimes more generous with aid. Most out of state schools are expensive, but Grand Valley is an exception – it costs very close to the same as some of your INSTATE options.</p></li>
<li><p>FAFSA - public schools will base your aid on your Fafsa, which means your parents will have to supply you with their income tax info in a timely fashion. Even though you’re not likely to qualify for federal aid, you must file this so that you can take the fed loans and for the schools to work on any kind of package for you.</p></li>
<li><p>Offers – you will not KNOW what which school will actually cost you and your family out of pocket until after you A) apply; B) get accepted; C) submit fafsa and D) get a financial “package” from the school. Grand Valley is pretty quick on this, and in my experience, pretty generous. The financial aid office will look for every conceivable award to give you. You do not have to go through all the angst trying to find out about each program, because they are managed by the financial aid office.</p></li>
<li><p>Fiscal Safety, Backup plan: Because it is presently unknown how you will finance a “sleep away” college, you absolutely need to apply to a school, whether its a community college 2 year program or a 4 year university in your home location to which you can commute. Worst case scenario, and sometimes just to be a better manager of money, many many students first attend a 2-year college program and then TRANSFER to the school they want to go to. It can be much cheaper to do this way. That said, many schools do not offer the same kind of scholarships to transfers that entering freshmen receive, so you will want to STILL APPLY EVERYWHERE. This is just a backup plan so that you can still work toward your goal even if things don’t go your way.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>When you have that talk with your parents, stay calm, and if it helps, gather your information in a spread sheet to refer to (eg. estimated COA of schools you’d like to attend, etc.) It will help them understand that if they do help, they will be investing in the future of an increasingly mature adult ;)</p>
<p>Best wishes. If you know how to meditate, btw, it’s a great way to reduce stress before approaching important subjects such as “Help me finance my education!”</p>