I don't know how to get through this.

<p>I've spent the last 1.5 years doing everything I could to convince my parents to let me go to boarding school. From power-point presentations to everything else, they didn't budge.</p>

<p>To be honest, I loathe the public school system. I cannot stand it any longer.</p>

<p>I honestly believe that boarding schools have better educational opportunities, in both quantity and quality.</p>

<p>I'm out of options, and I'm being forced to go to a public school that I hate.</p>

<p>I don't just want boarding school. I NEED boarding school. Boarding School is the answer to my prayers, in every way. I might be able to convince them over the next half-year, but that is a long shot, and even then... I'll have to suffer through a year at a public school. I don't know if I can stand that.</p>

<p>Sure, I am an intelligent student with a 4.0 Unweighted or 5.0 Weighted GPA, and having 4 HS Credits before even attending a HS. But intelligence has nothing to do with ones emotional or mental state. I can't stand Public School, like a cat hates dogs. It's instinct, but also knowledge of its workings, that combine into my hatred for the public school system.</p>

<p>The opposite can be said for boarding school.</p>

<p>I just don't know what to do.</p>

<p>What exactly are your parents reasons for not letting you even apply?</p>

<p>Money. But I've already told them that I can get financial aid, and boarding schools are usually MUCH more accommodating when it comes to grants, then say... Colleges.</p>

<p>I've even calculated airplane costs, along with the costs of consumables like Toothpaste, then deducted the average cost of food for me, to show that they would actually save money by sending me to boarding school, because if I got a full grant, food would be included.</p>

<p>They ignored it. They think I'm being stupid. That "noone ever gives money away." "It's a scam."</p>

<p>No matter how much proof I give them, they ignore it. It annoys me to no end.</p>

<p>Maybe you could show them these charts.</p>

<p>The</a> Hotchkiss School - Admission - Financial Assistance - FAQ</p>

<p>MIDDLESEX</a> SCHOOL</p>

<p>Phillips</a> Exeter Academy | Can I Get Financial Aid?</p>

<p>Do you live near a boarding school? If you do, maybe you could convince them to at least visit one.</p>

<p>I got over $30,000 of FA for next year, and it's not uncommon either. I hope you can eventually convince your parents to let you attend BS; it does offer many opportunities that PS does not. But keep in mind that some of the most successful people went to public school. It doesn't necessarily matter what school you attend if you are smart, gifted, and motivated. However, I sympathize with you and wish you the best of luck.</p>

<p>What do you hate about your public school?</p>

<p>Your parents might still be skeptical after looking at the Exeter: Can I get Financial Aid chart. I can tell you right now, my family makes enough money for them to laugh at me applying, but if you explain your situation it will help. I was scared senseless that I wouldn't be allowed to attend Exeter next year due to a pact I made when applying. If we had to pay more than 6K total, I was not going. Come fall though, Exeter here I come. I wish you the best of luck and hope my 'testimony' will assist you.</p>

<p>I know that Exeter offers free tuition for families making under 75 thousand a year, for example</p>

<p>Would your parents agree to let you apply if it was with the understanding that the financial aid would have to be appropriate in order to attend? </p>

<p>You really don't know what kind of FA you will get -- so using that as the only reason doesn't fly for me. If you apply to a number of schools and then the FA is not reasonable, then your parents have a good reason.</p>

<p>When my son applied, it was with the understanding that the maximum we could pay would be 5K -- and that included plane tickets there, books, etc. He was fully aware of the limitations and chose schools accordingly. Next year he will be a freshman at NMH.</p>

<p>maybe showing your parents this forum might help you convince them. i am another lucky student who received enough FA to allow me to attend next year. The FA is not a scam. Try getting them to read the
Parents' Cafe: Why Are We Doing This? post. Maybe this will help convince them.</p>

<p>good luck!</p>

<p>Andover has need blind financial aid, so if you're good enough to get in you'll get in for 'free'. And like you said BS offers much more in terms of opportunity.</p>

<p>I definitely agree with what everyone has been saying on here...many of us were in that conundrum of "you can go if you get enough aid", myself being one of them. Along with doing all the things formerly suggested on this thread, you should also offer you parents this: "Okay, guys. How about I just APPLY to some schools, and then we'll see from there If I get in and what they offer me?"
Honestly, I don't understand how any parent could reject that reasoning. I mean, what is there to lose in that? Only the application fees which are well worth it in the long-run anyway!
So, good luck, and NEVER give up!
I had the same problem, but eventually mosied my parents into allowing me to apply, and they just said, "let's see where this takes us".
Here I am a year later preparing to ship off to Exeter in the fall!
If I can do it, you can do it too!!</p>

<p>Well, I've already tried the "How about I just APPLY" stuff.</p>

<p>Even if I did get it working.... Most of the deadlines are over. Even if I go to one with a late deadline or rolling deadline, there will likely be no FA money leftover for me to go. I'd also have to arrange a private SSAT session since last I checked, the deadline for the June Test has already passed...</p>

<p>so go next year! try whatever you can this year but clearly being a martyr will do nothing. prepare your best for what is ahead, try to enjoy whatever you have, and enjoy the thought of your future.</p>

<p>A) Wait four months to talk to your parents again. It seems counter-intuitive, but by giving them some time to cool down, you have a blank slate to work with come October. Then, sit them down. This part will be hard (I know; I'm on the same plan to shut up and then discuss) because you'll have to tell them that they can't interrupt while you give your little spiel. Talk about finaid (give them a folder of stats to peruse later), education opportunities (for this, I recommend shiny brochures and more stats in another folder--parents really do want the best for their kids, and they'll be just as impressed as you were by the shiny auditorium and international debate team), and then, your personal reasons for wanting to go. This is where you get emotional about your maturity level and reaching the end of your education rope. End by saying that you love them both (your sibs too, if you have any) and that you've heard on this "great forum, College Confidential..." that boarding school can actually better parent-child relationships. Don't let them talk at this meeting, but arrange to discuss all the information and their worries in a week.</p>

<p>A week later, they'll have gone over all the stats and spent at least one night on this very forum, searching through the Prep School Admissions archives and looking on school websites. They might not admit it, but you'll have gotten them seriously interested. Allow them to ask you all sorts of crazy questions, which I predict will fall into two categories: money and "Is this <em>really</em> what you want? Is there <em>no way</em> to be happy at home?" Don't let them guilt you into anything--you CAN get that finaid, but you have to actually apply. Yes, you can be happy at home, but you can't be entirely fulfilled and intellectually sated. (When I pull this card, I plan on talking about this "nerd camp" I went to and how I'd never felt more at home, like learning and friends were a natural combination. Corny, but hey...) Don't be totally dry during this part, but make sure not to let them get your guard down. Tell them you're nervous about the prospect of leaving them and everything you know but that you're prepared to make that adjustment for your future. </p>

<p>A week later, have yet another discussion--this one should be emotional, all the "I'll miss you!'s" but also the practical, like where you'll apply and how to get there. Get the ball rolling on applications (if everything's gone well.... If not, fill out the apps to the best of your ability, photocopy them, and give your parents the photocopy to complete. You'll have a copy in case they "lose them.")</p>

<p>Good luck on that part!</p>

<p>B) You can be happy at your current school. I promise. I'm in a pretty similar situation, but I've found that you're more likely to be taken seriously if you don't hinge your life on boarding school. Be successful <em>without</em> it, and then you'll prove that you've outgrown your public school system and need more. Begging while constantly whining about your current school only serves to annoy and disappoint your parents and to bring your attitude down. Find that one teacher you love and talk to him or her frequently; find that one club that makes you love every Tuesday afternoon. Be happy where you are, because it's possible. Making the best of your situation doesn't make you less of a boarding school candidate but more so, because a positive attitude will carry you in any situation (the corny screenplay writer in me comes out at 12:30 am, sorry). You'll have to put down a few roots to be happy, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to leave if boarding school becomes an option. It just means you're a successful, happy, functioning human.</p>

<p>I think first you need to figure out what your parents fear. Do they not understand private schools can be generous with aid or do they know they have too much to qualify? I have a friend whose parent's didn't fess up to the latter until she was knee deep in applications.</p>

<p>Second, what about a day school. For many parents, like mine, they were hell bent on my not going away until college although many of my friend did.</p>

<p>Three contributions for you, coming from a parent.</p>

<ol>
<li> My D came to us when we were dead set against it. She came back again, in August. She was polite but firm. We kept saying no. Eventually, though, just saying "no" felt mean. So we cut her a deal, similar hsmomstef. You do everything - get the applications, get the transcripts, write the essays, take the SSATs, get the recommendations, get the FA forms, etc etc etc. If you get in, you have to have FA or we can't send you.<br></li>
</ol>

<p>She did get in, and didn't get FA. But we chose to send her anyway. It was the diligence and perseverance, over a period of many months, that proved to us that she really meant it. Also, those many months gave us a lot of time to reflect on this important decision. And it was the visits with my daughter to the schools themselves that actually flipped our decision. Obvoiusly your family's finances may be very very different, but the concept is the same. If the school can give you enough money to eliminate tuition as a barrier, you have come a long way.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I have several adult friends who relented and allowed their respective children to attend boarding schools. In each case the parents said no first. In each case the kids went behind their back and did everything, including the interview. In each case the kid went to the school and explained what was going on. In each case the kid was accepted and then the parents found out. In each case the parents started off angry and hurt but quickly came around to admiration for their kids' efforts and resourcefulness. In each case the parent laughs about how this happened and is happy with their decision.</p></li>
<li><p>If 1 and 2 don't work, you should find new parents. J/K. If you show this to your parents, what I meant is "do what your parents say. Parents are perfect, never make mistakes and know what is best for you."</p></li>
</ol>