I’m a 28 year old loser. I haven’t been in college since 2016, and I only have a useless associates degree. I was too dumb and stupid to move forward with getting a bachelor’s degree when I was younger in my early 20s. I work in horrible minimum wage jobs and I still live with my parents. I was enrolled in court reporting college, but I got expelled. I don’t know what else to do with my horrible life. I’m just so discouraged and sad. I don’t know what else to do…
You are not a loser and there are lots of routes to a happy and successful life that do not include a bachelor’s degree.
What is it that you would like to do? What elements would need to change for you to not have a “horrible” life? What things would you like to have in your life that you don’t have now?
Are you happy living with your family, but feel awkward because of your age? If so, there are many cultures where living with one’s parents is totally normal, including in the U.S. If you are dissatisfied living with your family, however, what is stopping you from living alone? Do you need to save up money for a rental deposit? Or do you need to find roommate(s) to live with?
If you’re working terrible minimum wage jobs, are you able to get full-time hours? Or are you interested in working at a different place where there is more of an emphasis on advancement from inside? There may be work options where you don’t need any additional education from what you have now. Alternatively, there are companies that will pay for your college education. Starbucks is one example. These two links provide other examples:
Also, have you spoken with a mental health professional? If you have not, I would urge you to do so, or to speak with your primary care physician. There may be other factors going on (whether biological, emotional, situational) that may be affecting your perspective.
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It’s common for kids to suddenly figure out they want a change in their life when they are in their 20s or 30s. You’re normal TBH.
What will make the difference now is whether you do something about it or not. It’s definitely not too late. I’ve seen kids go from high school drop outs to happily working in Physics labs post graduation from college once they decided that’s the direction they wanted - well into their 20s, and married with kids for that particular one.
You have in your mind Norman Rockwell’s ideal world and feel you messed up beyond repair. That world doesn’t exist and never did. There is plenty of time to change your life.
One good idea is to check with your local Community College to see what jobs are in demand that pay well and what you need to do to qualify for one.
@AustenNut 's post was very good, so I won’t repeat everything they said. I’ll just agree with it.
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I think you should talk to someone now. Are your parents available or a friend?
You undoubtedly have a lot of reasons to live but sometimes it is hard to recognize them. You shouldn’t feel alone and please speak to someone. Holidays are tough but they are just numbers on a calendar. Talk to the people who love you they want to help!!!
Other help is also available 24/7. Stay strong better days are ahead.
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Agreed with the others - but if your parents work, you might see if they have an employee assistance plan. Part of what could hold a person back is outlook - and when you start out with you’re a loser - that’s not a good attitude.
You’ve simply had some stumbling blocks and the good thing about life is - it’s long and there’s a lot of chances to recover and achieve your goals.
So what would you like to do? Would you like college schooling or trade schooling or perhaps no schooling? Would you like a job that doesn’t require an education - car sales or furniture sales?
Minimum wage jobs today pay more than ever - and as you’ve already seen, some will help with tuition.
Private grocery stores - depending on where you live - a Publix or Wegmans, often provide a nice career path.
There’s so much out there- but perhaps having an objective person to talk with (a counselor) to reset how you see yourself would be a good start.
You can get to anywhere - but you do need to have a mindset that knows you can do so.
Take advantage of the many resources your community will offer - I promise there are people out there to help you.
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If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.
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This post makes us worry about you. We want to make sure you are safe. If you are suicidal please please talk to someone. You can go to the ER or your doctor or call a help line.
One of my kids was in the exact same position as you. She went in the hospital and got some medication and therapy and is doing really well.
Even without depression, being stuck in low paying types of work can seem like a tunnel with no end. It can seem impossible to get out of it.
Did you know that the majority of college students are not traditional? They are older, have jobs and/or families, and often go part-time. My daughter just finished after working for12 years while taking a class or two.
What was your associates degree in? Is there a career related certificate you could go for? What kinds of jobs have you been doing?
Can you afford to volunteer at all? Are you interested in working with your hands?
How do you feel about returning to college? IT is NOT the only path.
Please let us know you are okay. There is help available and it really does help.
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What you are today is not what you’ll be tomorrow. You have a lot within you that you haven’t yet tapped.
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The longest journey begins with the first step.
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You’re not even close to being a “loser” like Paul Frank, who wandered aimlessly in life even longer until he encountered “his thing” in life.
The Artist Formerly Known as Paul Frank | Vanity Fair -
School itself only eventually teaches you how to learn on your own.
99% of the undergrad class material can all be self-taught. -
Minimum wage.
Skills = bigger paychecks if you’re not able to bull-S#!* your way through life. -
MOST people fail to ask the “right” questions in life.
E.g. You might be asking “how can I get into a great college to get a great job” in your mind, but is that TRULY what you want?
E.g. Is “I want a job that pays bank! How do I get one?” Closer to what you are after?
The answers you hear might be go to Harvard, become a ceo, doctor, etc. But then you might work 80+ hour weeks.
But is that what you’re really after?
Eg. “I want a job that pays the most that does the least!”
Do you see the difference?
Like a ship in the big ocean, YOU need to figure out what you want (even just for the next 3-5 years) clearly to achieve something tangible. Otherwise, you’ll just flounder and get bad advice.
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There’s tons of well paid jobs without college or needing a ton of years or huge effort. You don’t like your low pay, so tackle that first. Get a better paying job.
E.g. LA plumbers union, Paid apprenticeship training for 3 years at $20+/hr, $40+/hr union pay after.
Eg. Project manager. Schedule tasks, adjust calendar and staffing when the project gets off track. 6 months free Google Certificate training to $60k+/yr starting jobs, easily $100k/yr+ within five years of experience.
E.g. Even a garbage truck driver in big cities make over $50k/yr+ with retirement pension, good healthcare, and you’ll never be fired unless you do it to yourself. (Nobody wants the trash to pile up.) -
Once the money rolls in, you can then focus on increasing skills, college, whatever.
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Ask! Everyone you meet who’s “successful” according to how you define successful. How did they do it? Tips? Things to avoid?
Advice is free!
And real world experience in making it big beats book knowledge any day.
Plus, school rarely teaches you screwing up and how to avoid that.
Good luck!
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Many colleges will look favorably of non-trad students who have thought about their life and want go back to school if that is what you would like to do. It is never too late to go back to college if that is your desire. I’m sorry you are having these difficulties- you are not a loser. People find out later in life what they would like to do. I have changed my career twice and went back to grad school in my mid 30s. It is possible to do, now I have a career that I enjoy but it took me awhile to really know what I was wanting to do. Fears stopped me prematurely early on but I took the leap and now am thankful I did.
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