I don't know what to do

Parents Forum
1

<p>Sorry! Long post, but please bear with me.</p>

<p>So, I am not a parent but I feel as though posting in the parents forum will give me the most helpful feedback since my own parents don't feel like having this conversation with me. </p>

<p>Here is the issue:</p>

<p>Like many students I decided to apply to many colleges across the east coast, many of them "Top 50" schools. After being rejected by most, waitlisted by a few, and admitted to some, I was left to choose between the following: NYU, Villanova University (PA), Saint Joseph's University (PA), and Rutgers University (New Brunswick, NJ). </p>

<p>Of these choices NYU was my top. I visited, fell in love, and had my heart set on attending before I was even admitted. But then, reality set in. At 65K a year, with about 5K in grants, there was no way that I could attend NYU without being completely destitute upon graduating.</p>

<p>(Due to a very smart savings plan put together by my mother and father, I have enough money to pay for four years of college, and maybe some grad school w/o having to take out loans).</p>

<p>So, I finally had to choose between Villanova and Saint Joseph's. Saint Joe's offered me 2 four year scholarships which would have made my COA appx. 30K a year. Villanova originally gave me a small grant, but increased it once I showed them my offer from Saint Joe's so my COA would be roughly 40K a year.</p>

<p>In the Philadelphia area people have this misconception that Villanova is Ivy caliber (it's not, but people still view it that way) so I chose Villanova over Saint Joe's because of the "prestige" of its name. </p>

<p>I am currently regretting my decision. I like it here at Villanova but the fact that I am paying 40K a year for a name (and one that isn't easily recognized by those who aren't from the Philly area) is starting to seem ridiculous to me. I often teeter between the belief that I should have either a) gone to NYU and sacrificed any money that I would have had because it actually IS prestigious and spending the money might seem justifiable or b) I should have gone to Saint Joe's despite its seeming irrelevance because at least I wouldn't feel as though I am wasting a ton of money.</p>

<p>I just really don't know what to do at this point in my life. I was considering transferring but if I were to go to a private college, they are unlikely to give me any more aid than Villanova is (and public colleges in this area are not much cheaper). Because I am a NJ resident I was giving thought to transferring to Rutgers because I would qualify for in-state tuition and that would be the cheapest out of any of my options. But, I feel as though doing that would be selling myself short. Where I am from it is not considered a huge achievement to get into Rutgers.</p>

<p>I guess my question is (and thank you if you have continued reading up until this point) what do you think would be the smartest decision for me to make? Should I stick it out at Villanova and not transfer to a mediocre school just because it is cheaper? Is saving as much money as possible a higher priority? Or should I reevaluate everything all together and just transfer to NYU?</p>

<p>Any advice would be greatly appreciated!</p>

2

<p>Just to be clear, you are in your freshman year now? (Can’t actually tell from your post). Regarding the money, you make it sound like your parents can pay for Villanova. Are you just feeling guilty about spending that money? Or do you have other reasons (like issues with your major at Villanova) that are driving this? IMHO, NYU isn’t worth the money, you did not make a mistake to turn them down. Are you taking out loans for Villanova, and if so how much? What are your plans for after college? </p>

3

<p>What I hear you saying is that you feel it is worth money, quite a bit of money, to possibly impress somebody with the name of your college.
Not the research opportunities, or the star professor or the unusual programs, but the " perceived reputation".
Are you still interested in Creative Writing major?
Id make an effort to reduce costs as much as possible, and to identify how you can bring your grades up.
Are you taking too many credits? Freshmen often need to learn how to pace themselves, because it is not as easy to pull all nighters to master the material as it was in high school, and the courses keep getting more demanding.</p>

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<p>One thing you shouldn’t be considering is what high school people think are prestigious or an accomplishment. Doing well and impressing employers and grad schools are the thing that matters. They don’t care about that kind of stuff. If you want to impress some yahoos go out and buy a monster truck and ride around and feel impressive.</p>

5

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<p>Rutgers is a perfectly respectable school for many majors, at least outside of NJ (don’t know why it is so despised by NJ residents). If it is good for what you intend to study, and less expensive than Villanova, it may be worth looking into transferring there to save money, since you are concerned about the high cost of Villanova.</p>

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<p>Let me see if I understand you. You say you like it at Villanova. In hindsight, however, you seem to feel that you chose a kind of undistinguished middle road – that you should either have paid the high price for NYU to get the name recognition, or saved a lot more money than you did by going to St. Joseph’s or Rutgers. As it is, by choosing Villanova you feel you got a not-that-distinguished name in exchange for a not-that-huge savings. Is that it?</p>

<p>If so, I think you’re indulging in a singularly unprofitable exercise. You sound like someone who ordered something “safe” off the restaurant menu, and is enjoying their food, but keeps on casting envious glances at others’ plates and wondering if they should have chosen that instead. I think you need to stop that now and do your best to enjoy your Villanova experience and make the most of the opportunities there.</p>

<p>If you were really in love with a different school, I wouldn’t say this. But you’re not. You’re just not sure you got the best possible deal where you’re at. With that kind of attitude, I would say the odds are high that if you transfer, you’ll be dissatisfied at your new school as well.</p>

<p>That said, what exactly would be the benefit of saving more money, or the downside of spending more? It sounds like you did have the money for NYU’s steep tuition, but it would have left you broke at the end of it? But then you say that your parents saved for your college tuition – so it is your parents’ money, not yours? If so, they certainly deserve a chance to weigh in – maybe they would say that you shouldn’t worry about saving money since they saved it in order to give you the college experience you want. On the other hand, if going to NYU would mean the difference between paying for college out of savings and taking out loans, that’s easy – don’t take out loans if you don’t have to! If the money is really your own, and transferring to Rutgers would save you a bundle so you’d have something to fall back on after college, that is definitely a consideration. Just be honest with yourself about whether you will secretly despise your new school if you believe it’s somehow inferior.</p>

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<p>“Not the research opportunities, or the star professor or the unusual programs, but the " perceived reputation”. Emeraldkity4 makes a good point here. You are already at a school that probably has many unique features–possibly some not available at Rutgers or even at NYU. Are you taking full advantage-exploiting–every possibility that’s at hand? One idea would be to put some focused effort into researching, asking every grownup and upperclassman in sight and looking around to see what is right there at Villanova that would make you stand out to grad schools, employers, or to develop more as a person. Think about transferring after you’ve exhausted all the possibilities (the internships, the awards, the study abroad programs on your English department’s web page look fabulous–a semester or year at Oxford or Cambridge???) or if you find a compelling opportunity at Rutgers. </p>

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<p>If it makes you feel better, I have heard of Villanova but not St. Joe’s. I am not from Philly either. </p>

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<p>I’ve also heard of Villanova and consider it a perfectly fine school. I always thought that Rutgers is a good school, though, and don’t understand the Rutgers bashing. </p>

<p>Why not transfer to Rutgers and then go to NYU or somewhere else for grad school?</p>

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<p>The English department at Rutgers is world class. I also don’t understand why RU is under-appreciated in NJ. Yes, it’s a big state U, and so not for those who prefer the LAC experience (my own kids included). My H sends some of his best HS math/physics students to Rutgers, too. Those depts are also top-notch, along with philosophy. Sorry to hijack the thread a bit, but you touched a nerve!</p>

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<p>NYU isn’t all that prestigious outside of a couple of its programs. It is perceived mostly as a school for spoiled rich kids who want to party in New York.</p>

<p>St. Joe’s? No one outside of your area has heard of it?</p>

<p>Villanova–has a national name, just like NYU does.</p>

<p>You are having classic buyer’s remorse. If you are happy where you are–then plant yourself deeply so that you thrive. Take every opportunity that comes along, and dig for more, even create your own. Use the famous Villanova network to get some plum internships to leverage the education you are getting.</p>

<p>Or you can transfer to Rutgers. And if you do, will you then regret the lost opportunities of a school like Villanova?</p>

<p>Will the amount of dollars you save make much of a difference? Will there be an opportunity cost to you if you transfer, in lost opportunities, etc? Or does Rutgers offer opportunities you can’t get at Villanova?</p>

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<p>I definitely think that I am experiencing “buyer’s remorse.” Like I said, I applied to schools giving more consideration to their name as opposed to what would be the best fit for me personally. I am regretting that. Villanova is a great school, and many people I know love it here, but I haven’t had that same feeling. I have gotten involved on campus, extensively perused through the different internship options available, and possible employment opportunities after college, and I haven’t found anything that seems all that unique or interesting. Many other schools have comparable programs. I haven’t had any class or professor, eaten any food, partaken in any activities, etc. that seem to justify the price that I am paying to go here. </p>

<p>That said, I had given consideration to going to Temple University. While on par with Rutgers, I find the school more appealing because of its proximity to my home (I would be paying 24K for tuition only and could commute), its relative closeness to center city, and their Strategic Communication major is what I would be interested in pursuing. At Villanova our COM department does not have a comparable program, and that is something that is steering me towards Temple.</p>

<p>But, then I am worried about the things that I would be missing out on by not living on campus, and I don’t know if I really want to give that up to save money. I don’t know if it’s worth it. If that is the case, and I do live on campus, I’ll wind up saving about 4K going to Temple than Villanova. To me, 4K isn’t that significant of a savings to trade a beautiful, idyllic, and safe campus, for one that is located in a sketchy area of North Philly.</p>

13

<p>In your OP, you say that your parents have enough in savings to pay for four years of college. That being the case, discuss this with them, and if you really don’t like Villanova, then transfer elsewhere.</p>

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<p>NYU is only prestigious for certain programs. Many people have buyer’s remorse. I live in suburban NYC. Villanova and Rutgers have fine reputations and a school’s overall reputation is pretty meaningless when you apply for grad school. It is the department and program that is most important along with your GPA. GRE’s, resume and LOR’s that are the most important. </p>

15

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<p>This is going to be true at pretty much any school – YOU need to get out and look at company websites, apply for jobs and internships, etc. The career center doesn’t just miraculously find you a job, no matter what college you attend.</p>

<p>You haven’t answered the question of whether your parents can cover Villanova, or whether you (and possibly they) are taking out loans to cover this. And do you have younger siblings who will also need college paid for? You have actually missed the window to transfer for next fall anyway…</p>

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<p>Honestly, I think you should drop out entirely and go to community college for a couple of years, then transfer when you really do know what you want. You’ll save a ton of money and you’ll give yourself time to develop an actual opinion about where you really want to be.</p>

<p>At any rate, do NOT decide to transfer somewhere else until you have spent some time there to experience what it’s really like. You don’t want to find yourself at a brand new campus with the same old buyer’s remorse.</p>

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<p>I realize that I should not rely on the career center to do things for me, but as this is one of the main things that Villanova likes to highlight to prospective students, I think that it is worth noting that their career center is not as incredible as they try to make it out to be. Some schools that I looked at had interesting opportunities in place such as partnerships with certain companies, law firms, etc. that offer unique internship opportunities. Villanova is not exactly bountiful in this.</p>

<p>My parents aren’t covering my tuition expenses, I am. My father died when I was younger, and prior to that he and my mother set money aside in an account that gained interest over the last 12 years. When I turned eighteen, the money was mine. It’s in my name, in my account, and to be used for school purposes. My younger brother also has money set aside for him when he turns 18, so that he can attend college.</p>

<p>I have enough money to pay for college (all four years), and maybe some grad school depending on how much I spend undergrad. I do not need to take out loans, and don’t intend to.</p>

<p>I am aware that I have missed the transfer deadline for Rutgers (I would have to apply for spring semester next year) but Temple is still a consideration for which I the deadline has not passed yet.</p>

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<p>Villanova is a good school. So is Rutgers. So is NYU.</p>

<p>I personally would not spend 65k per year on NYU, nor would I spend 30k per year on St. Joseph’s.</p>

<p>Without knowing how much of the 40k per year is comprised of loans (vs. savings), I couldn’t really say whether I would consider leaving Villanova or not.</p>

<p>If you can afford Villanova without taking out a lot (relative term) on loans, I would stay there. If you are looking to save money, Rutgers is a very good, and more cost effective, alternative.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you! </p>

<p><strong><em>Edited because I just saw your recent post stating that loans are not involved. In that case, if you like the school, I would consider staying at Villanova. If you would prefer to save more money for grad school, I would visit Rutgers and consider it. I probably wouldn’t consider a Temple because, from reading here, you don’t sound really excited about it. Also, reputation-wise, although Temple is certainly a respectable school, I would prefer one of the two others. Good luck!</em></strong></p>

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<p>Either stay at Villanova or go to Rutgers. I am not sure that St. Joes has a better reputation than Rutgers even in NJ. It is not a bad school, but not sure it is worth the extra cost over Rutgers, esp if you can get into the honors program. What about transferring to TCNJ, if they have your major? </p>

<p>And agree that you want to be careful to really think about what is making you unhappy at Villanova. It can be tough to figure out what you want as a freshman and to find your place. You may be happier next fall when you move out of intro classes and into your major. </p>

<p>I don’t think NYU is worth the debt. You have your whole life ahead of you to live in NYC if you want to. It will be much easier to do so if you aren’t saddled with debt.</p>

20

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<p>Temple is considerably lower-ranked than Rutgers New Brunswick. They are not comparable institutions. If you’re worried about how going to Rutgers would be perceived as no big accomplishment, why would you want Temple instead? It doesn’t make sense. I also don’t see why St. Joe’s is clearly superior to Rutgers either if you’re primarily worried about what people in your hometown will think of your college choice.</p>