<p>Thank you all so much for your advice. I’m trying to follow it as best as I can, immersing myself in the school in every way possible.</p>
<p>I just don’t think that I’m happy here, or that I will grow to be happy here. I love aspects of the school, but two major negatives leave me feeling alone and isolated here: the extremely rural location, and the social scene. The social scene is lacking on weekends, probably because of the isolated campus. Also, I find it difficult to make friends here due to the lack of diversity in student body. There of course are many different students and i have made some friends, but I think I would fit better at a larger, more diverse school with a less rural campus. </p>
<p>I’m still taking this day by day, and am not indefinately going to apply to a different school; I realize that being new is difficult on everybody and it does take time to adapt to a school. I am still going to give it til December, at which point I would need to ask for recommendations from people. </p>
<p>I’ve gotten a lot of advice for my situation in general, but does anyone have any advice for how to approach this if I do decide to apply to a different school? I don’t want to make my teachers feel bad or anything because they are all amazing.</p>
<p>@xolaxxo, you may want to contact the admissions office of your desired school(s) and ask what is needed for your application there as a transfer student, should you decide to proceed. In addition to letters of rec, you may also need this and last year’s transcripts sent, a possible re-take of the SSAT, an interview and visit, and the application itself (with essays and parental signatures). Some of this needs to get set up quickly - the interview, (which will be very important in a situation like this) and the SSAT scheduled. You need your family on board to help you with this.</p>
<p>We teachers don’t feel personally offended or hurt that you are trying to leave the school. Trust me, we know that a school is not a paradise for everyone, and more likely than not, we will have some candid thoughts (that we keep to ourselves mostly) about the level of effort you made in trying to find your place. </p>
<p>The problem is, the more you repeat to yourself that your school is too rural and that the kids are not “diverse” enough, the more you will treat every setback as evidence that confirms your beliefs. If you thought you were going to be stuck for 4 years in that glorious cow pasture, you’d be working much harder to seek out interesting kids, focusing on each positive interaction as proof that you will one day fit in, and maybe even helping to create some more interesting events for the weekends. I’m gently trying to point out that you have no guarantee of getting in to Exeter, and there is certainly more to your current school than you’ve discovered yet, so there’s some danger in repeatedly thinking about transferring and focusing on the school’s flaws (when it also has in your words great academics, great teachers and challenging sports.) </p>
<p>One of my advisees’ parents was laughing with me on parents’ weekend because last year her daughter wanted a whole new preppy wardrobe so she could fit in and look like everyone else. This fall, she left all those clothes at home and went back to her own look. Is there an older girl in your sport or an activity who doesn’t fit the “Stepford Wife” mold whom you could talk to? Is there a teacher you like who might be able to point you toward some nicer girls? What about your advisor? a Dorm parent? I know that in a school your size there are other girls who are going through exactly what you are going through right now. The trick is to seek them out, and/or get some help to find them.</p>
<p>a. the Stepford wife analogy (you’ll find those images at every boarding school)
b. the lack of diversity
c. the perception of the improved social scene at Exeter</p>
<p>Exeter isn’t exactly in a cow pasture, but Exeter is also not a hotbed of urban life. The students work really hard, study a lot, and social opportunities (save a quick jaunt to Boston) are likely not going to be too much more plentiful than the school the OP attends. I stay in contact with some parents and students currently attending and I reiterate my earlier “the grass isn’t greener” comment. The point of boarding school is to partially isolate the students so the community can grow (and to control who is on campus for safety reasons) - not to intermingle it with the surrounding community’s social environment. </p>
<p>Boarding school is not the right environment for the student. The test is that - within the context of the current setting - the OP hasn’t found equilibrium and is looking for attributes I don’t think will be much different at another HADES school. I can probably narrow the current location to a specific school because it fits the rural description, but none are cow pastures and I saw quite a bit of diversity on all the school sites (including the OP’s school if I’m correct).</p>
<p>So imagine - applying to Exeter based on the “viewbooks” which are tailored toward the “ideal” and the “webpage” and arriving on campus to find out you’re surrounded by even more wealth, and the same degree of “social” opportunities.</p>
<p>Not all schools are a good fit for every student. I hope you find what you’re seeking. But as much as I love Exeter, I’m hard pressed to say you’re going to feel any different there. </p>
<p>I hope - @xolaxxo - that you talk with a counselor at your current school. I’m betting you’re not the first student to feel this way. </p>
<p>But your desire for a different type and class of student suggest to me that this isn’t really the real problem bothering you. Perhaps it’s just what happens to be floating on the surface?</p>