<p>I feel like by not telling my friends my grades, they don't know whether i'm smart and don't judge me for it. I hate it when they say "i hate u" when i get a high score. It makes me feel different. I've learned that, in high school, the higher the grades were, the tougher the time i had in developing solid friendships. I never had that group of friends that appreciated me for me. I always had to be someone else. Now i kind of hate that feeling--the feeling of not being accepted. So i try to do everything in my power to not disclose my academic life. Is this a good idea? Sometimes i get the vibe that my friends hate me when i don't tell them my scores, which is ironic b/c i intended the non-disclosure to have the reverse effect.</p>
<p>Good policy. If you truly are friends, then they should respect your space. I’ve had too many of those awkward moments as well…where I set the curve or something (exaggerating because this never happened and will never happen) and then my good friend gets like a C or something. It’s even worse when it’s a case where I failed. I mean, it’s okay to discuss grades once in the while. “Hey, dang your GPA is so high? Nice.” But if your friends start obsessing over your grades all the time, just tell them you’d rather not say.</p>
<p>It’s so hard being people like us. Am I right. I mean, we are just naturally better than the “regulars”, why should we be hated for it. Just because I am gifted and smart doesn’t mean I should not be able to make friends. Man, this intelligence is such a burden… its so hard being as smart as we are.</p>
<p>^ Was that sarcastic PurpleDuckMan?</p>
<p>I’ve been in that situation. I also have been in that other situation. My response is always to go “nice” or “I feel you” if I am on the others side and I hear an excellent grade / mediocre grade respectively. Be empathetic.</p>
<p>Also, you can also be confident and be like “omg don’t hate me do you know how hard I worked for that grade” – even if that grade was easy. People like hardworking people. (“I was lucky” is a copout). So even if the easy A was a cinch, say you always worked your ass off. This also makes people want to study w/ you. Never attribute it to luck.</p>
<p>^^ I would never</p>
<p>Wow purpleduckman…ur such an *******. I never intended my statement to convey the impression you made in your post. I’m TRYING to be humble as possible so people like me whereas your post wreaks of arrogance/sarcasm/unrealistic thinking. I’m also not saying that no one likes smart people but im saying that MY experiences have been different.</p>
<p>@evitaperon: whenever i say that i worked so hard for my grades, people automatically assume im not naturally smart and make awol generalizations. For example, they’ll say things like “you always study hard for your tests”…In other words, they make themselves feel better b/c they always think that if they tried as hard as i did, they’d do just as well. While this may be true, it certainly detracts credibility from my accomplishment (again, im not trying to brag. Im just saying this is what goes on in their minds).
So i don’t like telling them my grades. Period.</p>
<p>Let them think that of you. So what if they think you’re less smart to make themselves feel better? There’s no harm in this – they probably aren’t real true friends anyway but you can keep them around for social leverage, and this in fact, works to your advantage. You also have seen their true colours. </p>
<p>
What matters is what you yourself think. Your true friends will know otherwise. </p>
<p>In Chinese culture – which prizes itself for studying and scholarly achievement mind you, it is a strategic advantage to be known as less bright than your rival. We have a saying – “crouching tiger, hidden dragon”. My very good friend is very sociable but was known for being having ditzy moments, despite the fact that she knew how to read people with very good accuracy (but this fact does not give itself away). </p>
<p>The result was that in the internal politics of large organisations, for elections, etc. (which hold considerable influence in a Jeffersonian school) her rivals would assume things about her (and even ask her) to reassure themselves she was not a political threat, and even confide in her “secrets” about some other side in an attempt to recruit her and promise to make some other position favourable, all on the premise that she was outgoing and dumb. (When the truth is, she was fairly introverted and very astute.)</p>
<p>As the Chinese say, crouching tiger, hidden dragon.</p>
<p>Let others think they’re smarter than you. What’s the harm? People won’t think you’re someone to deal with. This works in office politics too. In the real world, people will get jealous of you and will even try to sabotage your chances at obtaining a coveted project, even to the extent of complaining to your superior quietly and making rumors about you.</p>
<p>There is no reason to share your grades with anyone else. No benefit can come from this.</p>
<p>Keep doing what you are doing.</p>
<p>Idk, if I do really well on an exam that a good friend didn’t do well on I’ll usually decline to say.</p>
<p>I don’t know, if you know your friend did really poorly and you did really well it’s probably good to tell them and offer to help them catch up. I helped a friend who was failing pass this way (in addition to them studying really hard!), and I think it’s generally appreciated as long as the problem was that they didn’t understand the material and not that they didn’t study.</p>
<p>Just face the music and say your grades. Can’t shy away from appreciation/criticism your whole life.</p>
<p>So how do i get this one kid off by back? He’s constantly asking for my grades and i’m running out of excuses. lol Should i just lie about my grade?</p>
<p>No. Tell him you don’t share grades. Problem solved.</p>
<p>It’s actually a genius solution. You have set a precedent of not sharing grades, regardless of what they are. Imagine that you were normally fine with sharing grades, but then failed something and felt uncomfortable. This would be obvious if you refused to share that grade. Ditto on the discomfort if you do particularly well. By simply making it known (as it comes up) that you do not share grades, you don’t have to worry about what other people think or are thinking. It makes life so much easier. There are literally no drawbacks unless you want to share your grades for whatever reason.</p>
<p>Whenever people ask me what my grades are, I just share them. If I don’t tell them my grade then they get mad at me or wonder why I am acting like that. If sharing your grades is burdening you extremely bad then I guess don’t share them. You should try to not make any school related facebook statuses or bring up school when talking to someone if you feel like it is making you not normal.</p>