I Don't Think That I Am Motivated With My Current Path In Music Anymore...

Hello, I am an incoming Sophomore taking Jazz Studies at SDSU, and I have had this looming question over my head if music was fit for me as a career. As the title explained above, I haven’t been motivated to put alot of practice time into my instrument, nor into my music studies. Last semester, which was my freshman year, I got low grades in both my aural skills class and my music theory class in my first semester, and I got a mediocre grades in my music jury as well. During my second semester of freshman year my grades recovered, but I was still lacking motivation in my music lessons, and I still did average on my music juries. Out of both semesters, the only thing that I felt content and happy with was when I was playing in jazz combos for the school. It let me ease off the pressures of the monotonous classwork we were given in music theory and aural skills because it let me do what I want to do; it let me put all my creativity into what I was playing without teachers telling you what was wrong or what was right. While I do find myself as someone artistic, I feel as if music has just become a hobby for me.

I am SO out of my element here, as a suburban math teacher mom who can’t carry a tune. But I’ll chime in until the more musically gifted wake up.

Why not take some other music-oriented classes this year? Perhaps one in music education, perhaps one in the business department about managing music or producing music? Perhaps play with the style of music you study-- try something other than jazz and see whether it re-ignites that spark you’re looking for.

During the college search, I remember a music teacher pointing out that it is one thing to play music and another to study music. Most high school kids are used to playing music and studying it to a point. But in college, the study is 24/7.

My suggestion is to do exactly what you are doing…talk about it, be honest about it. I hope that you can talk with your parents, music teachers and/or school advisor about how to move forward semester by semester so you feel that your college years are productive and happy. Too often, people look at things as black and white (music or no music). If you start reaching out (to supportive people), they should be able to help you brainstorm about coursework in music and other subjects to get the right “balance” so you can again enjoy playing/studying music but at a more appropriate/joyful amount. And that may allow you to explore other opportunities at college that may increase your satisfaction as well. Good luck.

I know a professor of music who has had university seniors walk into his office and say pretty much the same thing. It is much better for you to be thinking about these questions after only one year of university. There is still time to pursue other paths.

This might be a very good time to think about where you might be in 5 or 10 years. Do you see music as your lifetime career? If so, then you are probably aware that for most this is a tough way to make a living, and you have to be quite dedicated to want to do it.

“I feel as if music has just become a hobby for me.”

I am thinking that it might be time for you to consider whether you want an entirely different career path. I have worked in high tech for years, and there are many software engineers who have very significant music talent. Many of us make our money from high tech, then come home and play our instruments – or in some cases go out in public and play our instruments.

I had a similar experience at college. The problem is studying music is vastly different than just performing it. While I loved singing, I soon realized I did not love it enough to slog through all of the theory and fundamentals classes. Music majors also are heavy with time-consuming one credit classes which means a 5 year plan is usually the norm. I ended up switching my major and just focusing on music as a hobby. It worked out in the end.

Some people slog through this introductory phase of studying music, and end up happy they studied music. Others , like hope daisy, are glad they changed paths.

It sounds like you are in a BM program. Is it possible to switch to a BA in music, which is less intense and involves 1/4-1/3 classes in music versus 2/3-3/4?

Not so long ago, many jazz or contemporary musicians didn’t make school a priority. I once heard someone say that finishing Berklee meant you couldn’t make it: the talented ones left to play. That isn’t really so true anymore since college degrees have become such a priority for people.

Just because you don’t like theory and aural skills doesn’t mean you aren’t dedicated to music. MANY musicians aren’t good at or dislike these things.

But full immersion in music isn’t making you happy. Can you talk to your teacher or peers?

Are you playing this summer?

What does the curriculum look like for sophomore year?

Options would seem to be:

  1. Stick with it and see if things improve (maybe after a summer of playing) and increase gigs

  2. Change from BM to BA in music or change majors entirely (not sure whether this is possible where you are)

  3. Leave program and do music without a degree

  4. Take a gap year or semester, to clarify - then possibly transfer if you don’t want to resume

There is a great film about Paul Katz, a cello teacher at NEC. One of his students lost motivation and it was a marvel to watch Katz work with him and give him space. He ended up getting fired up again but did his one thing with the cello and it would appear he found the energy once he stopped worrying about what everyone else wanted from him.

It is FINE to make music a hobby. It should ALWAYS be a choice to study music and most of us will tell you that path is best followed if you can’t see yourself doing anything else.

Check out the Double Degree Dilemma essay on the top of this forum. You may identify with one or two of the people in it.

It sounds like you have had your passion for music knocked out of you by schooling and critique. But at the same time you say you are happy when you are playing Jazz in your ensembles, which makes me wonder if maybe your program is not giving you enough space and breathing room to feed your creative side and the focus on the technical is not inspiring new ideas in you.

Some artists and creative types simply need to leave school for a while to allow their creativity to grow and so they can sort out why they need the class work or better understand how the classwork can help THEM grow as an artist.

Our son remembers one of the well known Jazz members of his conservatory’s faculty who would come once a month to meet with students tell him and other freshman how he almost quit conservatory multiple times

On the other hand there is also nothing wrong with leaving conservatory to pursue other interests. Plenty of students do just that when they decide that they would rather be doing other things than practicing. I know many adults whose music might be called a “hobby” as they are not full time musicians, but they play locally and music is very much a part of their lives.

While you will need to make a decision about your course of study, know that music can always be a part of your life however you decide. You aren’t abandoning it. And also remember why you love it - if having it as your vocation destroys that, that’s not good.