<p>Hi everyone,</p>
<p>I just came to the realization that I enjoy my college life far more than I did when I lived at home. I have more friends here, there are people who seem to care about me more than my parents (even though my parents say that they will always love me) and I get to learn about things that are way more practical than in high school. Don't get me wrong--I had/have a good relationship with my parents, but after doing a self-assessment in the past week, I've found myself thinking about not going home for the Fall break (I'm not sure if you guys have this as well, but my college does). The last time I went home was about a month ago and I had a huge argument with my parents about how they thought I've changed into being more aggressive and defensive, but I don't see how they see that in me. I don't feel like I've changed at all. Now, every time I attempt to talk to them, I feel like I'm going to be criticized, hence why I don't want to go home for this Fall break and maybe even winter break (I'm thinking about going to a friend's house for the winter). </p>
<p>What do you guys think? Am I being weird in thinking that I don't want to go home for the Fall break because I fear of an argument with my parents? </p>
<p>Side Note: Fall Break is for one week</p>
<p>Thanks,
AlexPilot64</p>
<p>I think it is fine for you to stay during fall break. Just tell your parents you have a lot of studying to do.</p>
<p>Winter break is harder. I think I would be upset if my kids didn’t come home then. But if you can think of a specific reason, like skiing with friends, that would help.</p>
<p>It’s normal to love your new life at college and not want to go home and be treated like nothing has changed. </p>
<p>Something HAS changed. You’re beginning to learn how to live, study, make decisions on your own. I LOVED college. I never wanted to go home. To me, my college town was home. The place I went to on term breaks and summer was just where my parents lived. But I went home, because (other than the fact that the dorms closed during break, I had no choice …) I didn’t want to hurt my parents, and it was reasonable for them to expect me home during winter break. The other reason is as you change, your parents are also changing. Both of you have to figure out how to adjust to the changes and accept that a parent-child relationship changes a lot once the child leaves the house. Arguments happen. It’s part of the adjustment. Staying away is just putting this adjustment off. And as you said, you generally have a good relationship with your parents. It’s not like you’re never going to see them again. </p>
<p>So maybe skip fall break, but I think it would be right to go home for at least part of winter break. Perhaps stay home for the holidays, but visit some friends after that? I only stayed home my first summer of college. After that, I found jobs/internships in my college town during the summer and stayed there. But I still went home for a week or so at the beginning and end of summer. </p>
<p>I think as time goes on, you’ll both adjust. And you’ll still rather be at college than with your parents, which is fine. Just don’t avoid them altogether - especially at the holidays, if that’s important to your family.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the reply Sans. </p>
<p>I’m going to be going back home for Fall Break and I’m going to be positive about it. You’re right in everything you said and I think that it will be good for me to go back home. </p>
<p>Thanks again,</p>
<p>AlexPilot64</p>
<p>Glad I could help - I remember feeling EXACTLY as you feel! Good luck and I hope you have a nice Fall Break.</p>
<p>I think you made the right decision to go back home.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>The life you love at college will probably not exist during break as many students will be out of town, so you’re probably not going to be missing much (though that varies campus to campus).</p></li>
<li><p>More importantly, since you have a good relationship with your parents (and since, I am guessing, they are helping you in one way or another with your college expenses), you probably owe it to them to go home. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>I don’t think you’re being weird, I think it’s normal. When I first came home as a freshman in college, I did change. College is a wonderful time and usually changes people for the better. However, my first quarter in school I did act like kind of an arrogant jerk. I just thought I knew everything. I didn’t realize it at the time. I’m not saying you are like that, but if you have a good relationship with them and they suddenly are critiquing you for things they never did before then try seeing it from their point of view. I also have a good relationship my with my parents, but used to get into major arguments with them. Now I live on the other side of the world and I do miss them. Don’t just go see them, but try to readjust the way you look at them and look at the experience. These chances will not be around forever. </p>