Okay so I am going and try to make this brief and just try to type my feelings out maybe it will help me get rid of them?? Anyway I am returning to school in a week and it is 3 hours away from my home. Last year I was excited and I thought I could do it but I didn’t think it would be this hard to make friends since a year has gone by and I have none. I guess I am just scared I will be spending my nights alone in my dorm again and just trying to concentrate on my work so I don’t break down over how lonely I am. As you can expect I have a bit of anxiety about returning because of this reason. If anyone has advice I will gladly take it because I am scared and anxiety ridden.
Thank you for reading,
Liv
Find things to do out if your room. Join clubs, get a part time job, join an activity like newspaper or yearbook or theater (they always need backstage help for productions, and theater groups tend to be tight knit by the end of the production). My kid got invited this week to the glass blowing club at her college where she is in grad school – who knew?
@justliv I suspect you are facing second year. I think it can be hard because the shine and excitement that goes with the freshman transition (and prefreshman year fantasies) is replaced with reality. You know what to expect, the work and the social scene. First, try to keep you focus on why you are going to college, the goal to get a degree to help you have a productive future. Second, think about ways that you can try to improve your social situation. You will, as @intparent pointed out, need to take a bit of action to improve the quality of that part of your life. You can’t do nothing and expect social contacts that are meaningful to you. Keep giving yourself positive self talk messages, you can do this.
Every year is different and each has its own flavor. You have some good advice here. Good luck and I hope this year is much improved for you!
Pick some social clubs that accept all and require interaction (ballroom dancing? fencing, outdoor club, religious groups, volunteer groups) and then go to meetings and maybe even lead something (like an outreach event). Study OUTSIDE your room. Attend language lunches to better your language skills. Look for like-minded people via an internet space dedicated to your college website (anyone want to play League? anyone like sci-fi fiction and want to discuss over lunch). Maybe even talk to your Dean of Students or mental health office—because I bet there is another lonely kid on your campus looking for a friend.
Definitely get a job. Ideally in a more social setting, like the campus bookstore. You will meet people and keep busy. Other suggestions above are good too.
There are likely more kids at your school that you haven’t met, than there are those you have. Think of it that way and then perhaps you can envision a new year as a way to meet new people and potential friends. Start in your dorm. There will be people on your hall for you to meet and that will happen naturally. Leave your door open, say hello in the hallways or bathroom etc. Perhaps you can seek out transfer students who don’t know anyone. And remember, there are others who are looking at sophomore year as a way to meet new people too. You won’t be the only one.