<p>have a conversation with somebody in your class?!?! get a girlfriend??</p>
<p>You’re at UCSB. That’s awesome, dude. </p>
<p>Anyways, my opinion is that, you shouldn’t try to find friends. Just keep pursuing your hobbies and doing things you enjoy, and you’ll find similar people with your intelligence level and your drive. Don’t be a sycophant and don’t be afraid to tell people off. Your mind tends to exaggerate when it feels “pain;” it’s a master at delusion.</p>
<p>I think you should go to a dorm to study then and you can meet people there and maybe even take them back to your room to hang out. Whatever you do, i wouldnt be in a frat house just for friends. They make you do wierd stuff and the places are usually filthy. Ive been in one before and there was beer spilled all over and the furnature was gross too. You can find cool teacher in college and some of them will even hang out with you and you can hang out in the office. They arent as friendly in high school.
I bet you can even find friends here who are cool who go to your same school. There are alot of cool people here. Maybe you should ask this question in the parents room and they might be able to help since lots of them went to college too.</p>
<p>@pacificvista
I dont really have any hobbies that can apply to college. My main hobbies used to be racing and rallying, which are both very time consuming and the rest of my time was devoted to getting straight A’s and college applications. Now that I have neither of those to do I am bored out of my mind and I feel pretty damn empty.</p>
<p>I have a D who was placed in a less-social dorm situation incl older students…while we all wished to avoid animal house frosh dorm, we were surprised at the isolation…solution appears to be to get out – join clubs, try anything, you will have to be outgoing.</p>
<p>well i also don’t have any special hobby but i like to spend my time with my family and in extra time I’ll do practices for my sketching and want to earn money for the better future</p>
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<p>Are you actually in college yet? This surprises me because I love my RAs, and all of the ones I’ve met seem pretty cool. I’ve never heard of RAs being universally mean…</p>
<p>Anyway, to Ranka - I think that if you make an honest effort to talk to your classmates, and to join clubs, that you’ll find that you meet people eventually. Even going to a random party where you only know one or two people could help. Also, if you have a sick room, invite people over! They’ll probably want to hang out there.</p>
<p>I agree with MetdethGNR. Ranka, I think the biggest part of making new friends is realizing that a lot of people have grown up a bit since high school despite the relatively short time; there is no longer as much of an aversion to conversation with complete strangers. It is important to recognize that a few friendly words before a class, in the cafeteria, at a party can ACTUALLY lead to friendship where it might have just been overlooked in high school. Lastly, get EVERYONE’S phone number, it might seem weird or uncomfortable but my first few weeks of college everyone I talked to I made sure to establish some way of contacting and it really paid off: you can always find somebody to get lunch or hang out with, you always know the best social events and have someone to go with. Just remember everyone is looking for some type of foothold just the same as you are!</p>
<p>@dablumen
I feel that I still have an aversion to converse with complete strangers. I find first conversations incredibly awkward, stressful, and pointless. I feel that I still havent grown out of that horrible high school mentality that has ruined my social skills ever since I set foot in that disgusting place. I also have problems getting phone numbers, I find it really weird asking for them when I dont even have anything in common with the person. </p>
<p>My classes are also Honors Chemistry (only weird and awkward people get into there), Physics (300 person class, no one talks at all), and Calculus (300 person class, again no one talks). I find that I pretty much have no chance in finding anyone new in class or my dorms. So im putting all my eggs in one basket and hoping that clubs will change my college experience, or else im seriously going to consider a transfer. </p>
<p>Yeah I know im making excuses, maybe its just my rotten mood on a lonely Saturday night which is contributing to this.</p>
<p>Yeah, I can definitely feel where you’re coming from in regards to how awkward, stressful and pointless it can feel, and it is a hard subject to try and advise someone on because no doubt everyones experience is different. Hopefully the clubs will help in that they will weed out weirdos and people you have nothing in common with a bit. </p>
<p>Another thing you could try is getting a job or volunteering in a field geared towards something you are interested in (I know that sounds really vague). For example, a lot of my friends are pre-med people (who also came into College in high level sciences) and they met tons of people training and volunteering with Charleston EMS (like ambulances and stuff). Keep an eye out for stuff like that as well because it can kill two birds with one stone by helping you make friends and beefing up your resume!</p>
<p>In any event just keep trying, you don’t have to be so aggressive as to ask for phone numbers if that is too much; remembering names so you can say hey if you see people on the streets, or friending them on facebook might be easier (facebook chat is pretty sweet for asking if stuff is going on on weekends) . It sucks A LOT to feel so disoriented; I definitely know as I have moved something like six times now but it really does help to try and get comfortable with discomfort. Wow, that sounds like a fortune cookie…I hope next saturday works better for you!!</p>
<p>Well…it is now Monday and you have a week of opportunity ahead of you. First, yes friends are important. Yes, it is nice to have a mix of freshman and upperclassmen friends. So…try any and all of the following.
- find out what clubs are already offered at the school and find out w hen there is the club open house, etc. Go prepared to find the ones that interest you. Political ones generally are great for making friends and you obviously have a topic to talk about…
- During this week, if there is any table in the student commons for any issue or club …go over and see what it is about. If you have even the vaguest interest…get on a mailing list and plan to go to a meeting. Why? Good practice for the clubs you are really interested in.<br>
3.Are you religious? go to a service and get involved in the student/youth group. - Go to classes early, strike up a conversation about the previous session and you can always offer to exchange emails so that you can provide notes to each other should you miss class. Very few people mind doing this and most are shy to ask and will be appreciative. It is helpful that you find the coursework easy because you will be able to offer help and decent notes. When I taught freshman, I would always encourage them to exchange email address with someone or more in the room. They can be come study partners, friends, etc. and you can always block them if they are annoying. If you are worried about looking like you are hitting on someone, ask two or more people simultaneously…if they are sitting nearby…you come across as friendly, not creepy.</p>
<ol>
<li>Study at barnes and noble, student center, coffee shop. Bring interesting books…after a while…ask the student near you to borrow a pen/pencil and if they look like they are not annoyed to be asked, when you return the pen, say thanks, shake hands and introduce yourself. Ask what they are studying…and the conversation begins.</li>
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<p>One of my most successful strategies when I was a graduate student (in the north, me with strong southern accent) living off campus alone in a vast university where I knew no one…I went to the free Hari Krishna lunches…I chanted a little, ate decent food and discovered many other great people–some were undergrads, some were grads, some were street people. We all liked curry, we all liked vegetables, we all were cash-strapped, and we all were embarrassed by the chanting…instant bonding.</p>
<p>Well I just went to my school’s Alpine ski club/team thing and it turns out it looks pretty awesome! The people there were nice and pretty laid back about it all. I think I found my place in school and an activity to occupy my weekends! (Whooo road trips to mammoth!)</p>
<p>Yay for you! Didn’t we tell you? ;)</p>
<p>Hey Ranka, I was in the exact same situation as you (except I was a transfer living in Manzanita with mostly second years). I would say that your best options are joining a club (looks like you’re already doing that) or rushing a fraternity (if you don’t mind the frat system). Another thing that you can do is when you’re looking for second year housing in IV, go on Craigslist and find a house looking for roommates… a lot of people post ads and they include some information about themselves, so you can find a place that you think you’d like. My first year took a while to get going, but by the time I graduated I had made some friends for life :)</p>
<p>i hardly made any friends from my actual dorm. a lot of people don’t maybe they hand out with them at lunch and stuff but a lot of people make their friends from clubs and then it keeps growing cause you meet people they know etc. don’t worry about it. i think it is just a myth that people have to live in an all freshman dorm and be good friends witht their roommates and hang out with people in their dorm all the time. it is way less common than you would think. even in all freshman dorms. join clubs. that is the best way to make friends. so what if no one talks in class, why can;t you? you can’t lose anything by being friendly. just say hey how are you, what;s your name? and things like that. clubs would be the best way though i’d say. i’m not supper out going but one of my friends would just go into the dinning hall and if he saw someone sitting alone who looked nice he’d ask if he could eat there. they always were glad to have someone to eat with and he made a lot of friends that way. i had a few people just ask to sit with me and my friends and they turned out to be really nice and became close friends of mine. also try being more out going to the people in your dorm. i am a junoir and have my own friends and everything but i am always up for making a new one and a lot of people are like that. don’t write them off just because they are older.</p>
<p>totally agree!!</p>