My D had this exact situation and no matter what was offered it was never satisfactory to her roommate and they ultimately parted ways. My D also acquired headphones when the initial complaint was noise and then the roommate switched to the light issue when noise was fixed. There is no pleasing this type of person.
The expectation of going to bed at 9-10pm in complete darkness and quiet in a shared room is unreasonable. OP has compromised by silencing the sound, now it’s the roommate’s turn to figure out the lighting issue and how to best address it.
I honestly just don’t get what OP’s problem is. Here in my house, we all use headphones when we are sitting in the same room doing different things. The whole idea of having an actual TV set in a dorm room seem so quaint. I can understand TV in the livingroom of a shared apartment, but in a dorm room? D18 and D21 watch their own shows on their laptops or even their phones. I just don’t see an issue.
Also, I am sure this wasn’t the first time they fought about OP’s TV and going to the RA is just an escalation. If OP were my daughter, I’d tell her to put on a headset when the roommate complained. IMO, it’s less physically bothersome to put on headsets when watching TV than when sleeping. So I would just encourage my own kids to de-escalate.
Yes you have said I what I was thinking as well. And I was trained in Resident Life way back when but can’t imagine the basics have changed that much. From my perspective the RA handled this the wrong way. The RA should be acting as a mediator not a babysitter. Perhaps misguided by the late hour the RA chose to exert authority over the situation that she doesn’t have (that is not to say she has no authority, but it has limits and doesn’t extend to telling you to turn off the tv or wash your toothpaste out of the sink) rather than mediate the conflict but she absolutely needed to follow up in the days after to suggest OP and room-mate re-address their living arrangement compromises and help, if needed, to mediate that conversation. If the RA has not already come to you then you should go to her and request a follow up to the incident. Otherwise room-mate has set a precedent that she is going to run to RA to side in her favor any time she is unhappy rather than trying to suggest you compromise like adults.
Totally agree there is no reason you can’t use headphones, but once you’ve done that than you can reasonably expect the compromise ball has bounced back into the room-mates court and if she was still unsatisfied than she needed to take the next step in making an adjustment (like an eye mask) that would allow you both to be 50% satisfied, rather than making a 100%/0% demand. You could also help the situation by getting a blue light filter to dim some of the light too. That, coupled with your headphones, should make as restful sleep conditions as anyone sharing a small space with a stranger should expect, and again if she requires anything more than that she needs to make some added effort toward that end as well.
I would think you could and should come to compromise on days/times when you would turn the tv off if its simply for entertainment or its bigger than a computer monitor. I wouldn’t agree to turning off a computer monitor at any time as a college student though.
Might also be worth noting that if she truly has a sensitivity disorder that requires pitch black and complete silence to sleep than RA should suggest she file for a medical waiver into a single room, in my opinion.
Just out of curiosity, were you randomly assigned this room-mate? Was there any type of “best fit” questionnaire beforehand?
As I posted above, in addition to headset for your TV & a sleeping mask for your roommate, consider purchasing a partition for your dorm room. The room divider will reduce greatly the light from your side of the room.
Room dividers / partitions / privacy screens are reasonable in price & are easy to move when needed.