<p>Hey, I'm a sophomore in college. I feel so used, right now and in general. I have friends who I hang out with privately, but in public, I'm nobody. I gave some of my friends a very cool idea about a magazine article I would write, and he stole them and put them in his column. Everytime I go to a party, my friends tell me to go get beer or ice or something, and then during the whole party, they only talk to a few people. I help set some of my friends up with girls, and then they promptly invite them to a party (with other guys) and just leave me out. What the frick? I thought I was a good friend, but I'm perpetually ignored, and chasing after people. I am always the one who friends people on facebook. I am always the one who goes out of my way to say hi (without needing anything). Why? What the heck, I'm a short guy, so is that why ppl don't notice me? I mean, I feel like I get walked over (but it's not even like I suck up to people in front of them, I just help them out like a normal person)...I seriously feel like becoming a jerk or something, but then I would alienate the few few friends I do have.</p>
<p>gee, that sucks. sorry to hear. are you the kind of person who can't say no? </p>
<p>yeah, it's tough. i've learned my lesson. i always try to keep my ideas to myself and i never get friends who don't know each other already together. but i do feel kind of like a hermit who is so secretive about everything. lol. as a result, less people talk to me. so, decide which is better for you. but i'm sure there are other options. :D</p>
<p>Don't worry bro, I think this happens to everyone except for those extremely good looking or rich people.</p>
<p>Don't even get me started about how people are annoying. I have to constantly answer the door for girls looking for my roommate, and when he is not there, they just leave. I also have to deal with girls trying to "study" in my room, which is just an excuse for them to yap about their personal lives hoping my roommate would notice them. They never "study" in my room when I'm there, so I developed clever ways of kicking them out when they are in here (to my roommate's dismay).
^^ most of my rants are about girls. As you can see, I can't get any.</p>
<p>I have to try really, really, really hard to not become an angry, cynical, hopeless bastard. I have some friends whom I can really trust, and that is enough to keep me content. There are some pretty crappy, insincere, judgmental people out there, but there are also some people who are amazing. Colleges are so big that its pretty easy to find your niche.</p>
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your post reads like a high school one that a 14 yr old would write.
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<p>Come on, everybody feels insecure in certain points in their life. The ones who don't are probably so well-off that they become jerks or, even worse, soulless, grinning, robots.</p>
<p>I'm glad that certain people are brave enough to admit their insecurities, because most people would just pretend that they don't exist.</p>
<p>you have to start being more aggressive and assertive...stop helping them and set yourself up with girls and don't friend them on facebook...take some HGH and testosterone and start a fight with the "friend" that copied your idea...there was a thread similar to this except it was about guys getting girls...general consensus was that being too nice goes nowhere...you have to step up and take charge and quit being your friends' B</p>
<p>Hey thanks for the responses, I'm still not sure what to do except become a jerk. I mean, it sounds weird to be a jerk just to stand out, but we all have to get by maybe. I think most of us are idealists, maybe we have to get past that? ChamilitaryMayne, I've heard about being tough to get attention. Is there some realness to it? I will follow your advice, and see where it goes. BTW, have you guys seen Almost Famous? This is my favorite quotation:</p>
<p>Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world if what we share with someone else when we're uncool.</p>
<p>William Miller: I feel better.</p>
<p>Lester Bangs: My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful. </p>
<p>Maybe thats how I can see it...a bit comforting to see I'm not the only person who feels this way</p>
<p>ya dood, it's great that you're a hook up, wing-man, and seem to be the party starter, but you gotta know how to step into you're own role. I was like that frosh year, but you just gotta know how to stick yourself out and be the center of attention (but not in an arrogant way) and know how to be tough and ballsy to keep people from using you.
In other words, know how to open and close the door, but don't become a welcome mat to be stepped on.</p>
<p>There's also something to be said on generosity. it's good to be generous, but don't fear conflict and confrontation. Machiavelli talks about morality in this sense, it's great to be generous, but it's good to keep up an understanding that you're not going to be taken advantage of.</p>
<p>don't become an attention whore...you don't have to be the center of attention or the tough guy......don't become a jerk or so aggressive that no one wants to hang out with you...i think the key is being more assertive</p>
<p>gosh you seem like the nicest guy to be friends with. i cant believe your "friends" treat you like this. I think that your nice attitude should get you a lot of different friends... so just be a little more selective on who you choose. its ok to be a little picky about this stuff.</p>
<p>Random side-note... most of the quotes on my facebook "quotations" section are from Almost Famous. Best. Movie. Ever. </p>
<p>Maybe its just the type of people you're hanging out with. I know I won't ever be a "partier" type - the ones who seem to know everyone and have a million acquaintances. Try a difference scene - join some clubs or intramurals or something and meet new people that way (without your other friends).</p>
<p>It's Ok to be a nice guy...after all, nice guys do eventually prevail. But it is also OK to be a nice guy who sets boundaries and asserts oneself. College is a very hard time for many, many people. It is a time of identity crisis and finding a place for yourself within the masses of students that are as confused and insecure as you are. Others show it in different ways, but all are scrambling to belong in some way.</p>
<p>Keep being who you are and looking for others who appreciate you for who you are. It is not always easy to find....but they are out there.</p>
<p>I don't believe this to be true. Eventually the nice guys do have the most friends and the smart girls. They can also live with themselves knowing that they are kind and thoughtful. They earn respect. Whereas, jerks usually end up alone and miserable. It may take a while, but karma does have a way of smacking one in the head.</p>
<p>For starters, don't fit in. Be your own man. I know short guys with attitude it can blow your head off. Let them follow you. It's not easy but at least you're not being an ass kisser. I think nice men rule but being too nice is too much. Maybe they think they can push you around because you are too nice. Be nice without going overboard.</p>
<p>Jesus Christ, the advice in this thread is absolutely awful, as per usual College Confidential standard. </p>
<p>Whatever you do, DON'T become a jerk. </p>
<p>If you've been a doormat your entire life, you probably don't even understand what that means, and "being a jerk" for you will entail simply being rude and abrasive towards people who don't deserve it, causing your already miserable social situation to become even worse. </p>
<p>Instead, try getting completely new friends, and speak up for yourself if you don't like a situation. </p>
<p>Additionally, if someone takes advantage of your kinder nature, let them know, and/or simply drop them as a friend.</p>