<p>Perusing these forums has made me realize that there's nothing that special about me that got me in. Just because I'm in doesn't mean I'm at ALL better than the other kids in the applicant pool who didn't get in. And seeing their laments makes me feel so guilty... I didn't deserve this any more than anyone else, so why am I the one having the best day ever? There--but for the completely random result of a crapshoot--go I. And I'm sorry to all of you, because the majority of you didn't deserve this and it just feels so horribly pointless to me. I hope that you attain a higher level of happiness and prosperity at a different school than I will attain going to this one. I hope you keep your perspective, because in the long run you will turn out stronger than those who got their wishes the first time around.</p>
<p>Ditto, but what you just said makes you ever more deserving for Yale. :D</p>
<p>Aw you're so nice, but don't feel guilty. You totally earned it. Congratulations :)</p>
<p>I completely agree with you...all night, in between randomly squealing, I've been thinking "Why me?" Looking over other people's stats, I don't have any answer to that. I'm nothing extraordinary. It really is arbitrary to an extent, I think.</p>
<p>seriously, i just looked at the stats and its scarrrry. ppl way smarter than me got deferred/rejected! it doesnt seem fair...</p>
<ol>
<li>stats do not tell the whole story of someone's "smartness" or intelligence (the both of which are different, btw). so, don't necessarily be so quick to judge on that basis alone.</li>
<li>stats are not the sole basis of admission, either--and neither, even if it could be measured precisely, is intelligence / smartness</li>
</ol>
<p>lastly...</p>
<p>a lot of people (everyone, pretty much!) will at some or another point ask themselves that "why me?" question. you will all discuss it a lot on the yale 2012 group, or at yale, or bulldog days... not so much at yale, but at least until a little after RD, it's a hot topic. what's important is not why you got in, but <em>that</em> you got in. I mean, for relevant life experience, yes, the journey is important, but don't worry about it as far as this is concerned...</p>
<p>Cozmo, although your words make sense, they don't abate my guilt. I guess all I can think of is that life is really this way. It's almost never designed so that the people who "truly" work the hardest and the smartest and have the most desirable qualities end up on top. This is the first lesson, the first sorting mechanism, in a brutal life.</p>
<p>Lol how many of you guys are not in the top 10% of your high school classes? I am the luckiest man alive!!!!!!!! Dchari, don't feel guilty, I personally like to believe in the college admissions process and I think that people end up where they're going to fit in best. My friend last year wanted to go to Stanford, was deferred and rejected, and ended up at Yale, and he's having the time of his life. College admissions people seem to do a good job of getting kids who will fit in at these institutions that are really pretty different places. I'm sure there was something about you that will make you fit in well at Yale!</p>
<p>dchari, you are the most benevolent person I have ever met, and I respect you for that. I'm glad you got into Yale and as a Yale student myself, you are the type that I would want to be friends with. However, I know from bitter experience that you cannot feel bad for those who didn't get in b/c they will not feel bad for you if they triumph over you. Take your grand victory and celebrate. Screw everything else. You deserve it.</p>
<p>If it really makes you feel guilty, stop reading. :)
Reading other ppl's posts made me feel mediocre, but then again, i was deferred, not accepted.
So, don't feel bad. Someone has to get in. Bask in the amazing-ness that is early acceptance. Enjoy it.</p>
<p>Hi dchari,</p>
<p>I hope you wake up this morning and the "survivor's guilt" has receeded. I'm the mom of another '12 accepted girl. She doesn't visit CC, but I'm sure she'll post on the accepted student website, and I think you two will enjoy getting to know each other. I've been reading your posts for a couple of months, and your voice is always honest, compassionate and insightful. That's probably why you got into Yale. This is not to say that those who were rejected or deferred AREN'T those things, its just that you were probably able to project those qualities in your application. My daughter spent a weekend at Yale in September (and had visited other Ivies as well.) She came home saying how exceptional yet humble the students are. Maybe that describes you and many of the other accepted students. Certainly your post above is further evidence of that! </p>
<p>No, the selection process isn't perfect, but, as others have said, somehow Yale sees something in you that is a match. Celebrate that, support and encourage those around you who haven't made their match yet, but don't feel guilty. You are very deserving, and yes, fortunate.</p>
<p>Thank you, riverrunner :) that was one of the nicest things anyone has said to me, even if it was over an internet forum. Thanks to everyone. You guys are understanding and wise individuals, and I'm sure now even more than ever than you'll thrive wherever you go.</p>
<p>Why would you feel guilty? Getting rejected is not such a terrible, pitiful fate!</p>
<p>dchari, I certainly agree with riverrunner's assessment. It's also true that many great and talented kids were passed over. Keep in mind, however, that there are many other fine institutions of higher learning that will offer admission and merit aid to many of these kids. My son was deferred and at dinner last night neither of us felt anything but grateful for all the other amazing opportunities available. </p>
<p>A Yale education is something special, enjoy it and make the most of it. But don't feel sorry for us. My son will go on to do amazing things wherever he ends up.</p>
<p>I am saddened by the number of great students on several boards questioning themselves and their worth this morning. And equally, I am taken aback by the number of students who feel that they were somehow 'better' than the ones who didn't. My daughter got in at her early school, but I am well aware that many great kids didn't, and don't feel she is more special than they.</p>
<p>dchari, and other accepted applicants on this thread, you are more self-aware than most, and I applaud your humility and concern for your peers. I am sure that also came through in your app, and helped you. And as you say, there have been many wonderful kids posting on all these boards who didn't, and are hurting this morning.</p>
<p>To all of them, I would say - you're the same person you were last night. Highly selective admissions is a bit of a roll of the dice, so be enthused and knowledgeable about several schools that are strong in your interest, do your best app for each, believe in yourself, and you are sure to have several great choices in April.</p>
<p>dchari, I have the same feelings as you do! I got accepted over my best friend (deferred) who's better than me in every way! I'm an ordinary kid... quirky, but fundamentally ordinary. I just can't understand why I got in.</p>
<p>Sparklies and dchari - another mom weighing in on this topic. While I don't think for one moment you should feel guilty - you are right to feel grateful. Everyone who is accepted at Yale is truly privileged (no matter what their background) and I hope that you will always feel a little humbled by being chosen. As you read other applicants' post, you know that many, many qualified students are disappointed (which is one of the reasons for the push to add two more residential colleges) and so you can't help but feel extraordinarily blessed. </p>
<p>Now the question is, what will you do with your good fortune? You can resolve to use this opportunity to the fullest and be resolved to give back in some way to the university and to others. With this acceptance comes great responsibility in my mind and I have no doubt that you are the kind of person who will understand that. </p>
<p>On a much lighter note - you are just gonna LOVE Yale!!!!!</p>
<p>Aww...your post just made me feel so much better! I got deferred from Stanford, and I am, sad to say, one of those people who is starting to think that I don't deserve to go to the good schools that I'm applying to. I don't know...the fact that I didn't get in just shot down my self-esteem. I'm not quite sure if I'll really get over it. But congratulations in getting into Yale! 10 people from my school got in (all with connections) but you're so much better than any of them :)</p>
<p>Likewise.. While those of you admitted are indeed the objects of everyone's envy, I (as a deferee) really don't want you guys to feel guilty or anything less than the fact that you deserve every admission officer's vote. I'm grateful enough that no one lorded his or her acceptance over others, or even subtly implied such an attitude; I truly felt your humility and sympathy. I hope this doesn't stop you guys from raving on this forum about admission envelopes and their amazing goodies, because I believe CC was meant to be a platform for such enthusiasm too. For me personally, I wouldn't mind a little vicarious excitement :o)</p>
<p>I am not posting this to console your guilt, but if it does, hey killing two birds with half a stone is always fun. First off, this is life, your going to apply for a job most likely, there will be many qualified applicants, but only one can get that spot most of the time. Also, don't think that you are better than anyone or smarter, or whatever because your going to go to Yale, we are just kids, most of us for all practical purposes, have done nothing amazing in the world yet, but we will hopefully. It is just college, while you should be very proud of yourself for your accomplishments, this is not everything, plus, u still have four years of yale to get through before it's over.</p>