I get so tired of explaining...

College Majors Musical Theater Major
21

<p>Snapdragonfly, thanks for your post. You made me chuckle - I know that wasn’t your intent, but I could hear your voice rising and I empathized with you. :0) My D is only a junior and I have found myself hyperventilating on a couple occasions while trying to wrap my head around all of this. The organizational piece and the expense of auditioning start freaking me out - I feel like I’m a very organized person, but all of the deadlines and requirements feel daunting. Maybe it will become clearer when we actually have all of the dates (2011/12) to plug in. </p>

<p>And the money . . . good grief. Has anyone ever done any fundraising of any sort to help defer expenses? We’re on the “left coast” so it’s $500 to leave the house! Per person. This is not for the faint of heart. I do feel like it’s going to work out, but it’s kind of scary right now. Hang in there Snapdragonfly, you will be back next year reassuring all of us that we too will survive!</p>

22

<p>When explaining why our intelligent daughter was applying to 12 MT schools, most of which sounded like “off brands” to the uninitiated, I’d fall back on a quote I heard (IIRC from the head of CCM’s program) that “It’s harder to get into a top MT program than into Harvard Medical School… and it should be, since the world always needs more doctors but there are already too many actors”.</p>

<p>Somehow I found this always made sense to people. ;-)</p>

23

<p>CarolAnne- I am going through much of the same thing!! A lot of my friends and my peers, expecially the ones in all of my AP classes, are getting into schools such as Georgetown, UChicago, and Yale, and then they ask me where I’m applying and where I’ve been accepted, and my normal response is, "Do you really want to hear the entire list?’ (12 audition schools and 2 non-audition back ups). What really gets them confused is when I tell them that I am missing the first two weeks of 2nd semester (in February) for a lot of my auditions, including Unifieds in Chicago- and I’m also really hesitant to tell my teachers about it as well. My school has really high academic standards, and we’re only really allowed to take 5 days of pre-arranged absence in one year. A lot of my teachers (except for my drama teacher and choir director) don’t understand why I am taking so much time away from school.
I also think that some of my friends think I am crazy for “taking such a big risk”- but I really don’t care because I love MT and I can’t imagine myself doing anything else! I have had to make a shift in how I view myself, because I am no longer the “smart girl who does everything right” in school, but I am still proud of what I am doing!!!</p>

24

<p>I hate having to explain this, but not to my friends, they all understand it, but to my family. My brother and father are extremely upset with me for applying to so many schools. They just don’t get, no matter how much my mother and I try to explain it. It’s a real hassle and very stressful to fight about it every day. I’d rather be focused on preparing for my auditions, not explaining the process and defending it! Oh well. :/</p>

25

<p>Holy cow, this post has forced me to come out of hiding. I can soooooo relate to everything everyone has said! Thank you very much…it’s wonderful to connect with people who understand. I have been lurking here and reading since last Spring, when my then junior son began this great adventure. I appreciate all the information that so many of you have shared. We couldn’t have gotten this far without you. S auditioned early at a few schools and has been very fortunate. 3 acceptances, which take some of the pressure off going into this next round. Still waiting to hear from those schools about academic/talent scholarships, which will determine whether or not the offers are really viable. In the mean time, we keep plugging along, revising the game plan as word comes in. Next stop, Chicago unifieds. You’re right, for the most part, it IS fun. Although at times, I wonder if we’ll both survive each other until this is over. Thank goodness for this forum.</p>

26

<p>This thread is exactly why i have turned to CC and read all of your sage advice. No one in our town understands…including his public school. We are going to have to fight credit reduction in all his classes 2nd trimester because seniors are only allowed 5 college visits a year as absences and needless to say he will be missing many more than that!! </p>

<p>We have some friends who have been down this road who have been very helpful. </p>

<p>The stress is really getting to me and my S, but we will make it through. I keep telling him , and myself, that he will end up where he is meant to be and it will all work out. </p>

<p>I am looking forward to our little road trips together… too soon he will be off to some where ( fingers crossed!) fabulous and we won’t get this time back.</p>

27

<p>Hearing of all the other parents and students with concerns about missing classes, makes me wish the directors of all these programs who take 10 freshmen out of 3000 auditions, would make a point of talking to the high schools and telling them, “I will probably NOT take your kid, no matter how talented and dedicated, and out of the other 15 schools s/he is applying to, the odds are pretty good they won’t get in most of those either. If they want into a highly selective program like mine they have to see a lot of schools to improve their chances. Five school visits don’t begin to be enough!” ~ I don’t know that our school would care even if that did happen though.</p>

<p>And we only get two permitted days in their senior year! Wow, way to discourage anyone from going anyplace other than just what’s within a half day’s drive. And what they don’t get is that here where I am in Texas, almost all of the close by public options are the extremely selective programs. (except for the ones with what I call “token” programs, which are programs that the school doesn’t seem to care much about and are under supported and under developed - there is one close to us, and when I visited their website last summer their theater page was “under construction.” It is STILL under construction…how can you not, out of an entire college, manage to find the resources to make a measly website for heaven’s sake? Clearly the program is not a big priority to someone there, lol! We did not investigate that one any further. BTW I don’t consider a good but relatively unknown program to be a token, I consider those a gem) Anyway, as you all know, it’s not just a matter of picking the closest nice flagship school and going there. OH, there’s about 4 of them my daughter would LOVE to attend. Has been accepted to the college itself all right…the programs, well, one was her first rejection (she wasn’t expecting to actually get in so she’s okay) and the others she has yet to audition but we all know it’s like winning the lottery to get in. Yes, she’s adorable and so talented and so are the other two thousand kids who want in, too!</p>

<p>All the responses have been so very helpful and I’ve determined to make sure the rest of our road trips are fun. We are so so so lucky that she does have one acceptance into a program that is a really good one and the school itself is a financial safety so she does have, at least, one true safety that is very appealing to her. </p>

<p>I have told her, also, that if she decides she is DONE with all this and wants to just accept that school now and be happy with it, that I will support that decision; and if she wants to keep going, that’s what we’ll do, although, she does understand that if she does get into a program she really wants but the money just isn’t there, that we will have to, sadly, turn it down.</p>

<p>I still feel that if she doesn’t investigate all of her options, though, that she’ll always wonder what would have happened “if.” If she ends up at the financial safety (it was an audition program so it can’t be called a “safety” except for the financial part) because after weighing all her options and deciding it was the best choice, I think that will help her over the inevitable bad days and frustrating times that happen even in the best of college experiences, so she won’t think she made a mistake by never looking anywhere else. </p>

<p>So, we gird our loins for the rest of the spring! Gas is going up, I’m glad my last car purchase was based on economy…</p>

28

<p>I quote that too MomCares.</p>

29

<p>Go KSwag! @Snapdragonfly - “Gird your loins!” - love that! Thank you all for sharing - CC is a definite lifesaver in many ways.</p>

30

<p>This thread brings back so many memories from last year. I feel your pain! My D attended an academically rigorous prep school. To say that someone choosing to major in the arts was an outlier is an understatement! Seriously, nearly 60% of the class was either a National Merit semi-finalist or commended student. Inasmuch as her pursuit of MT was quite the novelty, we were flooded with questions. For the most part, I found it easiest to deflect the questions and just not talk about it, even to the point of saying, “The audition process is just so stressful and unpredictable; I’d prefer not to talk about it. We’ll let you know in April. Thanks for asking.” For the well meaning friends who said, “She’s so talented. She’ll get in anywhere she auditions,” I quickly advised them of the numbers, i.e., that the low single digit accept rates into top programs make getting an academic acceptance to Harvard look like a piece of cake. They seemed to understand that concept.</p>

<p>As for the comment about wasted SAT scores, I do think her 740 in math in addition to her audition got their attention at her current school, UCLA, where she is blissfully happy. Good luck to all this year!</p>

31

<p>I can relate to this so much. People seem to believe academic acceptance is all that matters, when in reality it means nothing. I get so many people telling me how easy it must be to be a MT major. I don’t really think rehearsing for six months and then auditioning every weekend for two months qualifies as easy, and then the 12 hour schedules once you actually get to college…people just can’t grasp how difficult it is to get into even one MT program. At this point, when people ask me where I’m going to college, I just say “I’m not sure” and leave it at that.</p>

32

<p>Sorry if this has already been said (I am old and forgetful) but I also got tired of explaining why I was so involved in my son’s audition/application processes. So many people were like “it’s his deal, why don’t you just let him sink or swim…why are you managing his time, etc.” Can you imagine a kid navigating this all alone? I am sure there are many that do…but I know it was hard for ME to understand!!</p>

<p>I got accused of being a “helicopter” or “snow plow” mom soooo many times. I just smile and nod. (oh, and grit my teeth!)</p>

33

<p>With graduation from CMU for S looming in May, I can both relate to the time four years ago that all of you have been bringing back to memory…and look at the “new unknown” future in front of him after NY and LA Showcases. I think the challenging world of constant evaluation that these young people face takes a special personality to weather. They are really not ever going to “settle down” to a job within the career path they are pursuing. That makes uncertainty a regular part of life. It’s not the life my huband and I have led so our contribution is to add some grounding, respect for his accomplishments and reassurance that he’s going to do well in life, whatever he does. We believe his hard work will result in a life well lived, whether its in acting, singing and entertainment…or whether he finds other outlets for who he is. But I still relate to the feelings described in this thread about how difficult it is to interact with others who want to put every young person on the same path to adulthood. Hang in there!</p>

34

<p>So agree…cannot imagine a kid undertaking the entire process and hitting all of the deadlines…I am losing my mind, “gritting my teeth” and imagining myself on a white sand beach, book in hand, umbrella in drink…om…</p>

35

<p>Stumbled across this thread and I can SO RELATE to these posts. You have to walk in the shoes of a MT student or parent to understand our world. But now, three years later my daughter is a junior MT BFA and still loves every minute of her college life and has grown immensely on the stage and as a person. Her exceptional academic abilities allowed her to pursue any major she chose but she was born for musical theatre. We faced so many questions and sometimes rude comments from other parents who felt she was throwing away her opportunities by not pursuing a more academic major at a “better” school. As one of the top ranked students in her HS graduating class she was given the choice of speaking or singing at graduation. As you can guess, her song was amazing. Her future is bright and I know she’ll find a way to continue to follow her dream after graduation.</p>

36

<p>It is so nice to read this thread! I have been lurking for awhile, learning from all of you students/parents who are ahead of us in the process. My D is a sophomore, top of her class, and we are already getting the “Why are you allowing her to waste her brains and go into MT?” questions. The school is COMPLETELY unhelpful, to the point where we have to lie and say she is sick when she has an audition somewhere, and we get no support from anyone but her out of school instructors/directors. Grrrr…how can I tell my D to abandon her passion? What type of parent does that? There is a real question in here…you are all so nice and helpful…is there no backstabbing/competitive/awful people during the MT college audition process? Where did they all go??? Are the mean people just at auditions for jobs/work, and not schools? Thanks…</p>

37

<p>When my D went through the process last year, there were a few people who had “attitudes”. Meaning they behaved such that people felt they felt they were “better than anyone else”. This was with both auditionees and some parents. But seriously, for the most part… 95+% maybe, everyone is very nice and you end up having very nice conversations with people if you’re open to just talking with people. You’ll see that you will see the same people at multiple auditions and if you’ve had a pleasant first conversation with them…you continue the conversations. Both the auditionees and parents talk about the schools being applied to, audition experiences, etc. I think there is a lot of commiserating going on! Because only those doing this process actually understand it! So you meet up with other people who “get it”. How therapeutic it is to talk live with others going through this crazy process! My D met other auditionees who she connected with and who she still keeps in contact with. Naturally, there’s competition, but for us, it was friendly. I can’t think of anyone actually “backstabbing” anyone…there’s no reason or opportunity for it. You’ll find that people are willing to help out too, if you forgot something or with directions, etc.</p>

38

<p>For the most part my D has bonded with the people who were also auditioning at the same time. In particular at Pepperdine when she arrived she was one of the people who arrived early and it was her first audition. When she walked in she saw someone she had met at UCLA over the summer and they quickly broke the silence then soon everyone was talking. One nice conversation was meeting someone that was from our same area, had flown on the same flight that morning and were also auditioning at another college two days later but not at the same time. </p>

<p>One thing I liked was that even though the waiting area was small at Pepperdine it seemed the most friendly. Everyone was telling each other good luck and talking about the audition experience(how friendly the auditors were, what to expect…) Some of the other places were fine when the students were led off on their own but a little quiet beforehand.</p>

39

<p>Thanks - that’s good to hear. I spoke to the mother of one of my D’s friends who attended auditions with her D, and she said at one school the other auditioners were condescending, and had an “attitude.” But she said all the other schools had been fine. There’s enough stress in this whole process without having to deal with that from other people in the same situation! Thanks again for the reassurances.</p>

40

<p>I wish colleges would preview DVD auditions then only invite 100-200 kids to audition for the 20 spots. It would make all of us not run so many places with so little chances. However, it’s not going to change soon. The thought of all of this next year is making my head spin. On top of listening to my D with the class list she is signing up for, knowing that she will worry if the grades don’t stay up there or she doesn’t do well on the AP’s, the extra classes like Debate and forensics that require tournaments…I will need the martini
We’ve only done a summer audition- most of the kids and parents are nice. The one that wasn’t my D pegged immediately and she came through the next day as snarky as my d thought.
We asked the head of OCU about “how can we let our smart kids “just” do MT”. His comment was- no other program in college teaches you the time management that MT does. You can’t ask for an extension on a show with an opening date. You learn how to analyze scripts and shows in order to get into character. You learn to give a presentation to the audience and capture their attention.You learn how to get along in a group- something very important in the “real” world. Not all of our kids will get into shows, and they may not stay in the performing field more than a show or two. However, the skills they learn translate into the real world, if they do go there. And the skills they learn are probably better then the ones who are english, art history, french lit, spanish or a variety of other majors people look at as more respectable. I’ve resisted for years the encouragement of her making a life out of it, but it is her passion.
My cousin’s wife, who is head of a very large division of a very large company at a very young age- she wanted to go MT. Her parents wouldn’t let her so she ended up at Penn. She met my cousin in a show, they have been in shows off Broadway and in some TV extra spots…she still wonders if she could have made it on Broadway. I’ll let mine try out and as a friend said “I’ll let the schools tell her whether she can make it in this world and not have me being the one that squashed her dreams.”</p>