<p>Monkey 13: Well, my D and I thought everyone we met on the road was great - the school people and the fellow auditioners. It got to be a joke; after every school we’d say “Well, this is a great place, too!” And then we’d remember that these are theatre people, and we happen to adore theatre people, so how could we expect anything different? At the NYC Unifieds where eveyone could hear everyone else singing through the door, I heard students telling singers when they exited how great they were, and how much they loved the song, etc. It’s been reported to me that during dance calls the kids were very encouraging to each other. It was quite a wonderful community. I don’t want to do it again any time soon, but the company was indeed very pleasant.
As far as I know it didn’t happen at these auditions, but at other auditions from the past, whenever my D met someone with the “attitude” it turned out the person really wasn’t that great. She learned quickly not to feel threatened by the folks with “attitude” because they were probably suffering from lack of ability. Folks who work hard at their craft and have learned something in the process usually also have some humility to go with it, because they know what they don’t know. If that made any sense.</p>
<p>Classicalbk: Yes, that makes perfect sense. I have found that the not-so-nice people come from two categories: those that you describe (the not so great ones); and those who ARE good but just really insecure for some reason. The insecurity makes them need to tear other people down. On a good note, however, we have been at our share of professional auditions where the actors are really, really supportive and wonderful to each other. Especially by the time you reach CBs. So, here’s to hoping that the community stays wonderful. I, too, love theater people!</p>
<p>I guess we’ve been lucky but D and I have run across pretty much just wonderful people. Yes, everyone is competing, but there has been such a supportive and wonderful attitude of comraderie. Parents have shared helpful information, D has bonded on the spot with many of the kids she’s met at auditions…</p>
<p>I know there’s got to be hatefulness and back stabbing going on out there but I really believe that theater kids are just some of the most decent little humans. They have to be the kind of person who is naturally collaborative by nature (it’s my D’s middle name - she loves so much to work with a group of simpatico people) or there’s going to be a lot of this work that they won’t enjoy. I know there are those who are the Diva type and we’ve met them too (here in local productions, not at auditions) but I think in the long run, having a reputation of being a great team player and someone who other people actually look forward to being around for 16 hours a day can’t possibly hurt you. And it is a very small world and word does get out.</p>
<p>I look at it this way - if there’s 3000 kids after one spot, short of pushing them out the window lol there’s not really that much I or my D can do to eliminate someone as a competitor so why not be generous and helpful. If the director wants someone they’ll want someone and being an asshat to them won’t change that.</p>
<p>I’m so grateful for all the support and encouragement I’ve gotten for my D and myself and personally I’m eager to pay it back, or forward, as the case may be.</p>
<p>Something else to consider - it is an acknowledged and widespread observation that this particular generation, who like all generations has it’s own personality, is a lot more bonded to each other and collaborative with each other than usual. They are physically more affectionate (not necessarily sexually) and while I know that of course mean, back stabby people will always be there, I think the overall collective personality of this group tends to have a sweetness to it. Maybe that’s just been my experience but there have been some similar opinions to be published on the matter - this according to my SIL who works in a huge law firm and oversees all the newbie lawyers and is always talking about Gen Xers and Gen Yers and the differences, as it is her job to figure out how to deal with them. I do see a big difference between my daughter’s class and my son’s, who is a lot older than her. Hers is more bonded to each other, it seems. “Everyone gets a trophy”. </p>
<p>Come to think of it, the little Diva types we’ve met locally have usually had some talent but weren’t necessarily the strongest ones - I think being truly good and knowing it gives one enough confidence that they don’t have to be small and petty and feel threatened by other people and they can even be very generous.</p>
<p>To take this to another level…What do you do when you are trying to be supportive of your child’e passion and you have an Ex Spouse who thinks it is a waste of time.</p>
<p>“Time for Plan B” he says after getting 4 rejections (still haven’t heard from 5). My D is so disappointed that he doesn’t believe in her. She doesn’t care if she works as a barrista for the rest of her life…as long as she can be on stage.</p>
<p>^^^Mantra: She only needs one and can only attend one.</p>
<p>so sorry NASM- it must be extra difficult when her own dad is the doubting one. Suzie said it - she only needs one acceptance. Just keep being positive for her and celebrate her successes, no matter how small.</p>
<p>What they said, NASM. Isn’t that great? She only needs one!! And does she have a good safety on her list? It’s not too late for most schools so if she doesn’t - find one. There are some decent non audition BA programs out there. If you are anywhere close to Texas I can tell you about the ones we found.</p>
<p>It breaks my heart her dad is not supporting her but she has you, and it’s pretty common for kids to be discouraged from going into this field, that doesn’t mean she isn’t talented. Though with rejections (ouch, they do hurt no matter how tough we try to be) and the negativity from a parent, I’m sure that’s hard.</p>
<p>The DAUGHTER should let her father know how much his lack of belief in her hurts.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone…My D is the typical MT kid and is determined to prove to the Naysayers that she can and will be successful in this field. She realizes the struggles ahead of her and it makes her even more determined. Unfortunately for her dad I think the bottom line is $$$$. He does come to her shows and beams when she sings but doesnt think she can support herself with a BFA in MT.</p>
<p>MTdad…they hardly speak and she has given up on expressing herself to him. He usually uses me as the means to communicate to her. Just last night she stayed with him and they spent the entire evening in two different rooms. We ALL know how much this means to our kids and my belief is that this is their lives to live not ours.</p>
<p>notasoccermom, there are plenty of discussions on this board about the options of supporting one’s self with a degree in theater. But probably her dad and not you, is the one who should read them. It might not do any good anyway. </p>
<p>There are kids with law degrees who can’t find work these days. There are kids with degrees in EVERYTHING who can’t find work. Getting a degree in “something to fall back on”, unless she loves it also, is a bad idea IMO. If she can’t find enough work as an actress to support herself she can find other work related to it: people always suggest a minor or double major in business or something as a backup but those majors aren’t promised a job either. I would think that if someone went into it with a heavy heart on account of being told not to follow their dream and to do something “practical” they wouldn’t make the most impressive candidate in that field either. If they love business or something else - then as someone on here (is it suzievt?) says, then for heaven’s sake do that instead, because theater is a hard field in which to survive and anyone doing it had better be doing it because they really and truly cannot imagine themselves doing ANYTHING else.</p>
<p>I always say “you might as well be not able to get the job you want as not able to get the job you didn’t want anyway.” lol.</p>
<p>I wonder if they think there’s some inverse proportion to loving the work and finding the work, in people’s heads. So even if she WAS guaranteed a job if she went into business/communications/journalism/whatever, if she’s bored to death and hates the field, what the hell kind of accomplishment is that?</p>
<p>If my daughter just wants a guarantee of a job she could go to dental hygienist school and probably get something that paid fairly well compared to how much money it took to get her degree. They advertise for those all the time even in our worthless job market. She has no interest whatsoever in doing that and would hate it and hate her life but hey, it’s a guarantee of a job so go for it!! yay?</p>
<p>My advice for theater monkey kids is to look for something tech that they might enjoy also. Maybe think about going back for a masters in it later. If they love performance then of course go for that and enjoy it to the fullest but if they just simply love to be in that theater even when there’s no one but the cast and crew there, because they just love it, even when they aren’t in the spotlight, then tech is a good way to still be involved and around it and one is never the wrong “look” for a tech job. I mean if one must be practical and have a “backup” why not love it also? I know there is competition for those too but please let me know of ANY job in any field where there is not competition for that job, because I am a returning to the work force mother with a daughter in college and I’m looking for work. lol I need one of those great jobs in a field that PROMISES me work, that they want these kids to go into instead of theater. Where are those jobs please, I’ll take one.</p>