I had a horrible college experience at UCLA

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Los Angeles
21

Then how were you supposed to get accepted into clubs?

22

Friendships are based on common interests. Neither my DH or I were ever members of clubs and somehow we both made college friends. People we ate dinner with every night. People we went hiking with on weekends. People we played cards with or whatever.

If this has been a life.one struggle for you, perhaps you would benefit from some counseling to help you navigate this issue.

1 Like
23

I tried therapy numerous times in the past, but it wasn’t helpful

24

Is there some diagnosed issue that you have related to social skills? Really, I think you need to see a professional
and get this all sorted out.

5 Likes
25

I wasn’t diagnosed for anything. Getting diagnosed for autism in adulthood is impossible

26

That’s NOT true. And if you think this is a possibility, there really could be help for you.

5 Likes
27

If you haven’t had luck with counseling, keep looking for a better fit. I have had several, and it wasn’t until recently I found someone who is really helpful. You need to figure out a way to quit dwelling on the past and look forward. Counselors are good at helping you figure out how to reframe distorted thoughts.

4 Likes
28

Agree with the thoughts to keep trying counsellors. Your posts just remind me a lot of my brother. He recently found one who is better and put him on Lexapro. My family tends to be anti-therapy and meds, so it was a big deal for him to do this. But he says if knew he’d feel that much better on it, he would have done it years ago. Maybe something to think about.

2 Likes
29

I been to 5 different therapists in the past. It doesn’t help0

30

What exactly are you looking for here? Folks are giving you some excellent suggestions, and you don’t seem to think any of them are worthwhile.

As noted, you need to look forward, not backward. So what if your last five counselors weren’t the right ones. How long did you see each? Did you follow through on all of their suggestions! Maybe it’s time to give it another chance.

And if you think you are on the autism spectrum, get this clarified.

4 Likes
31

Well, I been to therapy numerous times in the past and it never worked out. I have no desire to keep seeing therapy when it doesn’t work. And yes, I did follow all their suggestions

1 Like
32

What is your plan then to move forward? Is there anything anyone can post that you would find helpful?

3 Likes
33

I just wish someone told me what went wrong for me. I was lonely and miserable in high school, and did my best to ensure college was a much better time. That wasn’t the case in reality. I just want comfort knowing how I screwed up

34

It’s not fair to expect strangers on the internet to help you if a dedicated therapist hasn’t been able to.

2 Likes
35

Then what do I do? Therapists were useless

36

Not everyone connects with their first, or even second or third therapist. I would honestly encourage you to try counseling again.

That said, I think it’s fine to grieve that your college experience wasn’t what you hoped. But you will have your degree shortly and really that is the main goal so kudos for sticking through.

If you were my child, I’d encourage you to look for a volunteer organization and a non competitive club to join while you are searching for paid work.

Best of luck to you!

2 Likes
37

IMO
if you think you are on the spectrum, go get tested. Lots of places for adults to do so.

Have you tried any psychologists/psychiatrists at or through UCLA? To me, it sounds like you might be depressed, and if so you might benefit from medication
but only a medical professional can help you, not posters here. If it were my life I would try again and be persistent until I found a medical professional that works for me
and you have to put in that time and work, change won’t happen in a month, it can take a while. For how long were you with a given therapist?

Beyond that
are you taking care of yourself? For example, eating right, at a healthy weight, getting exercise, sleeping well, have good personal hygiene?

Have you worked with the UCLA career center on your resume? Cover letter format? Interviewing techniques?

3 Likes
38

UCLA offers little in mental health care. I been with the therapists I had for half of a year

39

There is some interesting research about how neurodiverse folks (like those with ASD) may communicate much better with others on the spectrum. In other words, poor communication between people with and without ASD is more of a “mismatch” in communication styles. You may be better qualified to parse out the research than I am, but I work with young children with ASD, and I think it’s fascinating. Here’s one link to start with: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1362361320919286

All that to say, maybe seeking out a group of neurodiverse people could be a first step toward finding your crew. There might still be time to find a group on campus. I’m really sorry you are feeling lonely. It’s a terrible feeling. If autism seems like a “diagnosis” that might fit you, I hope you can find some of the millions of people out there who can relate. :heartpulse:

8 Likes
40

Sure, but I was worried from the very beginning of college of missing out the college experience since I was lonely in high school. Yet, I still managed to slip through the cracks.

1 Like