I’m a freshman at the University of Delaware and first semester was really hard for me. I was really excited to get out of my town and start over and make new friends but when i got to school i felt this intense social anxiety. I was sick with mono and used that as an excuse to stay in my room every weekend. I wouldn’t sleep through the night, i would wake up really anxious about just being at school. I had some issues with food and eating before school and when i got to school those issues got so bad, i would seclude myself in my room and not talk to anyone. I really was not in a good place first semester and i was trying to stay positive for this spring semester but i can’t stop crying because I’m going back. I really want to like it because I’m lucky enough to go to such a great school, i just feel really alone and am dreading putting myself through that again. I tried to hang out with the people on my floor, i just have nothing in common with them. I am a nursing major and the work load was extremely difficult, i managed to keep my grades okay despite being depressed. If anyone has had a similar experience and can share how they made college a good experience for them it would mean a lot
So sorry you’re going through this @gab4376. I don’t have any direct experience with this, but as a parent I hope you will seek help from someone qualified to give it. All is not lost - you have managed to keep your grades up which will give you options. Nothing is irreparable here.
Hang in there.
If your school has an on campus medical or counseling facility, I would highly suggest going to see a doctor and explain your anxiety. It can be debilitating without proper intervention. I’ve been there. Some things are just bigger than you can possibly get through alone and the meds they have today are very good for this kind of thing without making you a zombie.
Second - Go to the gym. I don’t care what shape you are in…good bad or indifferent. Exercise is good for you on so many levels it can’t be understated. Get on a treadmill, an eliptical, whatever. Nothing battles anxiety and depression quite like sweat.
I’m sure others will add comments, but when in doubt check it out (With a doctor).
@stanatedj i do work out every day, its the only thing that helps it. i usually stay at the gym for a good 2 hours to distract myself and it makes me feel a lot better but when I’m not there the anxiety is so bad. I can’t explain it to people who don’t have it, i feel like theres something wrong with me
You are going through all the stresses of the normal transition toward adulthood with the added complication of high levels (maybe clinical), and some behaviors (could become bad habits) that are magnifying your issues.
Positives, you are keeping up with your studies and you are exercising. Next, try to work on eating and sleeping right. Proper diet and rest in addition to exercise can make you feel more in control and help you to cope with your anxiety symptoms.
Do go back to school even if you are dreading it. Do follow the advice above and go to your campus health and counseling centers for assistance dealing with these symptoms. Getting through all if this will be a process, not a discrete “I"m suddenly better” event. You can do this, and you can feel better on the other side. But it is going to be hard and it is going to take persistent effort on your part.
You sound like my daughter, who is a freshman. Her first semester was riddled with trials and she absolutely dreaded going back.
She got pneumonia in Oct after getting sick and it turned to bronchitis. She ran herself ragged with her work load and the mandatory workload with the sorority she pledged with the fall show and huge homecoming.
In early November, her boyfriend from home broke up with her. He had just been up at her school for a sorority function the week before and he blind sided her the next week. She came home for their 5 month anniversary and he came over and broke up instead.
Returning after thanksgiving, her suite-mate, who she loved, informed her that she was transferring to another school at break. She was just too unhappy at that college where none of her high school friends were and my daughter was her only friend there.
In December, the day before her last final exam before Christmas Break, she was admitted to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy and of course, missed the final exam. We arrived right before she went into surgery.
during and after the break, she dreaded going back. We knew she had been down but being home with family, we really didn’t see how much she was depressed until she returned.
The school had not assigned a new roommate so she was all alone in the suite. She dreaded making up the final because it had been so long, she dreaded the sorority. She made good grades except in Math, and it brought her GPA to a 2.75 so, until she took that final, which would hopefully bring her gpa to a 3, she had mandatory study hours for the sorority 8 hours a week. It was all so much and too much, topped with all of the adjustment of growing up anyway.
My daughter was depressed. Not just sad and had the blues. But depressed. Life was overwhelming her and she wasn’t coping. She had insomnia really bad and fell asleep exhausted just a few hours before having to go to class.
I could sense it and she was just too much in despair to realize it.
I was lucky to be able to travel to her school and stay with her for three days while we got things straitened out. First thing was we visited student health services and he put her on anti depressants. A low dose once a day for a week and now it is 2x a day. He also gave her a sleep aid she takes at the same time every night for consistent bed time and wake time. Secondly, we set up with student counseling services. She was so against talking to a stranger about her problems and after the first session, she thought it was ok. After two weeks, she was glad I made her go.
Sometimes we need help in life and it is ok to seek help. That is what all those student services are for. They are skilled for people just like you and my daughter and thousands of other students. I urge you to seek help. After two weeks, everything isn’t perfect for my daughter but she is managing to manage her life and responsibilities.
I wish you the best.
That’s because there is something wrong, and you need to get started on fixing it, just as you would for a broken ankle or strep throat. There’s great advice above from adults who know what they’re talking about–please follow it. We all wish the best for you.
IT seems like you need some friends and a social circle. Change your perspective and start being outgoing and obtaining friends. Having people in your life gives you a reason to live.
See the counseling center at your school right away. I wouldn’t see a doctor first to be honest, I’d recommend talking to a counselor and map out your options.
If your grades held up, that is a good sign. Think about why you were able to get your academics done but had trouble getting enough energy to do other things.
And you do realize that mono can have lasting effects on mood and behavior? It’s called Epstein-Barr syndrome and can lead to people feeling run-down. You might ask to get tested for the Epstein-Barr virus.
Defintely go to your college counselor center and talk to them. You may have social anxiety which can be treated with medications. When it is getting to the point where it is disrupting your life, it is time to get it checked out medically.
My daughter was diagnosed in high school and medication made all the difference. She is now doing well at college.
Thank you for the support, I don’t know if I came up positive for Epstein Barr but I came up positive for lymes disease as well which my doctor said can greatly affect mood. I made an appointment with a psychologist off campus at school (on campus only allows a few appointments) that I can see regularly. I go back tomorrow morning and I’ve never been so upset and stressed about anything. College makes me not feel like me anymore