I am a first semester freshman at American University and over the past few weeks I have come to realize just how much I absolutely cannot stand this school. The students are extremely entitled and all seem to have the idea that they’ll become president in 2036 because Mommy and Daddy told them they could be anything they wanted all their lives and there is just something about the atmosphere and campus vibe that make it downright depressing. Even though I do reach out to people I find it quite hard to make friends around here, as a lot of people I’ve come across are still stuck in high school mode and are only interested in getting plastered at frats every weekend. My mental health, which has been pretty great all my life, has been deteriorating ever since I got here and I am in easily the worst state I have ever been in my entire life (however I am seeking help from local therapists and the counseling center at AU). I understand that the transition from high school to college is always difficult, possibly even more so in my situation since I went to high school in England, but I never expected it to be this unbearable. Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advice or comments are very much welcome.
First things first: have you contacted the mental health office on campus? “Unbearable” has me thinking that maybe it’s time.
OK, so you hate it… Do you hate it enough to transfer? If so, then are you thinking January or May? If you do leave in January, your options may be a gap semester or community college-- is either of those appealing enough to help sway your decision.
It seems to me that you’ve given this 3 full months, and that maybe you know your own mind well enough to know that this isn’t for you. Why not stop by the transfer office or speak to your advisor tomorrow to explore options?
Life’s too short to be miserable over something as small as which school you attend. There are options, it may be time to start exploring them.
I have a couple of questions and observations. Was AU your first choice college? Were you placed in a living and learning community? Is your major related to public affairs or SIS? At any private school, you will encounter a number of students who are from high-income backgrounds. A lot of students are going to have big aspirations and I would bet that those aspirations will become more grounded in reality as students progress in school. However, I find it sad that you are so offended by students wishing to pursue their dreams and that their parents are supportive of them. Is this coming across to your fellow students? What organizations have you joined? If you have to stay another semester, I recommend joining a service-related organization because you are going to find people who are interested in helping others. If your family is overseas this may be contributing to your feelings toward the school. You might want to examine this and determine whether going so far away is right for you. Hang in there - it’s almost winter break.
It sounds to me as if the school is definitely not a fit for you. Normally I discourage students from transferring and suggest they give it more time but you express that your mental health has been “pretty great all your life” and that you want something different from the environment you are in. I understand where you are coming from regarding the entitled students. Do you have time to research and hopefully visit other schools? Your match is out there. In the meantime try to get some great grades and classes that will transfer. Good luck!
@sahmkc thank you for your reply. I do believe that I came across as being irritated by people who wish to achieve their goals and that I worded it the wrong way and I apologize for that. What I was trying to say was that I have encountered a lot of people who are willing to knock other people down in order to achieve these goals and are condescending to others who have the same ones. I don’t have any issue with people’s parents being supportive of them, I just believe that it is unnecessary for people to behave so arrogantly in reference to their aspirations.
Your last post makes me think that you are at a competitive college when you would prefer to be at a collaborative college. So in coming up with a list of colleges to apply to as a transfer student, my advice would be to focus on schools that are collaborative.
From what I have read, the stereotype is that Georgetown looks down on George Washington which looks down on American. So take heart! Your condescending classmates are the butts of other’s jokes.
Seriously, in a class of hundreds of generally like-minded striving students there are certainly 10 that you will find compatible. The likelihood that you will find them in your first semester is low. Stick with school with the awareness that you are there for an education more than anything else and friendships will follow. If you are unbearably miserable, then transfer.
Most people who do anything in life that is rewarding will tell you that they considered giving up along the way. But they did not, and that trait is one of the reasons that they are now doing something rewarding.
Approximately one month into my freshman year I knew I had made a mistake. I stuck it out for the whole year, though, concentrated on getting good grades so I could leave with dignity, applied to transfer, and then left after the end of my freshman year. One of the best decisions of my life. Lots of people have a tough first semester and then get used to being at school. In your case, I sense there is a real mismatch. It doesn’t make sense to suffer there–as long as you can identify a different situation that really does seem like a better match. It’s possible that your match is back in the UK, I suspect.
I’m sorry you have encountered students who are condescending and cut-throat. It was not the impression that I got from the tours and visits, we had at AU. We were actually much more concerned about this attitude at GW. As at @WISdad23 alluded to I suspect some of these students might be the ones for whom AU was not their first choice and this may be a compensating technique for not getting into one of the other two higher ranked DC schools. It’s why AU accepts so many ED students - they want to avoid unhappy students. If you are among mainly Freshman, then I would guess that there will be reality checks along the way for these particular students. I am sure there are many students who would work collaboratively and be supportive. If you look up AU on Niche, you will find Freshmen who have recently posted about how welcoming, supportive and inclusive AU has been so far. So there are people out there who are not pretentious jerks. I say this not to change your mind about staying, but if you do have to stay the rest of the year, I want you to have hope that there are good people out there. I stand by my initial advice on clubs. If you haven’t gotten involved in any clubs, look for ones that are not politically oriented. Ones that are focused on service or some other interest. Also, you are not alone in the difficult transition in from High School to college - just look at the stickies on this board! I lost weight my first semester from homesickness and I had more than one crying session about how I had chosen wrong. I adjusted and found my place. It was the best 31/2 years after an awful first semester. Hold on to hope and talk to your parents about how you are feeling.
You might be able to find more collaborative-minded people at your school by participating in a volunteer project such as Habitat for Humanity or working with under privileged people.
Defiantly join club’s. I like vball so I went on Facebook actually and found a beach volleyball club in my town most students join. At the end of the day everyone usually says okay let’s meet up on such-and-such date. Boom friends. Even if you don’t like the club just do it to make friends then once you have those friends to hang out with you could always stop attending if you don’t enjoy it anymore.
@taylor2241 I have been thinking about you and wondering if you decided to return to AU for the spring semester?