I am in my second year of college. I hate everything about it and it’s eating me everyday. I don’t care about my major at all. I picked something that I’m good at. I don’t think changing my major would help. I just don’t know what I want to do with my life yet, which I think is fine, I just hate that now I’m wasting so much time and money. I go to an expensive private school and I hate the fact that I’m going to spend the next 20+ years of my life paying back my loans for something I wasn’t even passionate about. There’s nothing I can think of that I enjoy doing. Now I’m going to get stuck with a degree and try to find a job that I don’t hate so I can pay back my thousands of dollars. My future feels so pointless. I don’t want the ‘college experience.’ I’ve lived on campus and I didn’t like it. I now commute 30 minutes everyday. I want college to feel like a part of my life, not like it is my entire life. I want to go to classes and go home. I’m not interested in joining clubs. I feel like college is draining the life out of me. I’m so depressed and uninterested and it’s starting to affect my personal life as well. I’ve thought about transferring to the college in my home town so I could live at home. It’s a private school as well, but about half the price. But I’ve already transferred once, and my dad gets mad at me every time I bring it up because the school I go to now is a really good school and he tells me it will be my biggest regret if I leave there. I’m also worried that they wouldn’t accept me now anyway because I’m going to fail one of my classes this semester. I think there’s a part of me deep down that wants to stay and do well and succeed but it literally feels like I can’t. I get so anxious and overwhelmed that I just shut down. I dread going back next semester more than anything. I’m so frustrated at the way it works and it eats me everyday and I don’t know what to do.
Would it be possible to take a break from college before you take on more debt, maybe get a job, and engage in some mental health counseling to try to get your emotional functioning improved, and maybe some career counseling to help you to figure out what kind of career you would like to do? Would your parents let you live at home and take such a gap? The traditional 4 year college isn’t for everyone. Also, figuring out what you want to do when you grow up isn’t so easy.
I agree. Take a break. Work. Go back to school when and if you are ready.
Breaks are wonderful. Definitely take a break. Here are some ideas beyond working near your home and/or volunteering near your home (which is also terrific). Basically doing ANYTHING you want is a good idea. Whatever you do, you will gain valuable skills. One thing will lead to another and another, and pretty soon you will find your groove again in something that interests you.
- Workaway.info -- local and international "volunteer" positions that include room and sometimes a meal. Work about 4 hours a day. The rest of your time is for you. https://www.workaway.info/
- volunteer.gov -- includes housing and help with federal lands management of various sorts, from camp grounds, to gift shops to trails work, fisheries, you name it.
- SCA -- Student Conservation Association -- has internships of varying lengths from a few weeks to a full year. Includes housing. The topics vary from trail maintenance to fire fighting, to sled dog care to historical archive work. Some expenses paid. https://www.thesca.org/serve
- hike the Appalachian Trail -- http://www.appalachiantrail.org/home/explore-the-trail/thru-hiking
- Coolworks -- work for pay in some place nice -- https://www.coolworks.com/
One needs to be in the right frame of mind for college. It just might not be a great time right now for you.
You should sit down with your parents and explain the situation and work out a plan.
Good luck.
You really need to tell your parents all this. I am not a therapist, but your post has red flags all over it and you sound depressed. Therapy can benefit everyone.
I agree that you should take a semester off and regroup. You are young. But please bear in mind that you don’t need to have your life goals mapped out already. You should enjoy some time just being young and exploring life. There is still plenty of time to become a bill paying adult and figure out how you want to proceed.