<p>I am a freshman at Cornell University and to be honest, it sucks. My classes are ok but I dont feel as focused as I should be because I always have a knot of homesickness/sadness in my stomach. I don't have any friends (well, any ones I would want to spend four years with). I probably repel people because of my negativity, actually. My roommates are nice people but obviously have never lived with anyone else before (slamming the door in the morning, talking loudly on a cell phone while Im trying to read). All I think about is going home. I obsessively check my email for some kind of connection from home. I call constantly. I am always crying. I went to France this summer and that was an absolute train wreck. Even when I found cool people to hang out with it did not make me want to go home any less. I am convinced it will be the same here. I applied to transfer to a different university in the spring (UB). Do you guys think this is a good idea? I need some sort of validation I guess. I am not happy. I refuse to sacrifice four years of my happiness for the so called Ivy league. Im an english major so it's not like I would be rolling in the dough anyway. And, I plan on going to grad school so does undergrad matter so much? Cornell is way too expensive. Do you guys have any advice for me? Do people ever transfer out of the ivy league? Are my feelings normal? I feel very alone. Any advice would be welcome and appreciated.
Thanks.</p>
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**Do you guys think this is a good idea?
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<p>After reading your post it strikes me you need to find yourself. Until you do that no change of location is a solution. Sorry you are so miserable....in France and in Ithaca.</p>
<p>I'm not sure I know what you mean. I'm actually a very happy person when I'm in my comfort zone and surrounded by my family/familiarity. I'm not a miserable person in general...just away from home.</p>
<p>It doesnt sound like it is Cornell that you hate, just what you are doing. My friend from U. of Mich was sooooooooo unhappy last year. Almost for all of the same reasons you stated. She is now commuting from a school in her hometown and is so much happier. Not all of us are meant to be wanders... If you know in your heart it just isnt right, then there is no harm in changing. </p>
<p>One just must remember the choices we make early in our life will effect the rest of our life. Try to make the correct decision for you and only you.</p>
<p>homesick happens sometimes, just get used to it then ? I'm also a international student so I think I understand a bit of your suffering</p>
<p>well, but my school is no competitive school as Cornell so I dont have to push myself too hard and still got sometimes to hang out with friends. but still, American friends are nice, dont you think.</p>
<p>good luck, buddy</p>
<p>This sounds a lot like me right now. I'm really homesick, I don't have any really close friends I'd want to spend four years with, I check my e-mail all the time and actually told my mom to send me morning e-mails for reinforcement, I call a lot and Skype at least once a day, and right now I'm planning on transferring. I think you should transfer as well if you're that unhappy. Apply to schools you're interested in and while you're waiting for the semester to end, try to make the best of the situation. If possible, go home for a weekend or try to have one of your parents come out to visit you, maybe you just need to see someone familiar to feel more comfortable. If at the end of the semester you still don't like it there, then you can just transfer out.</p>
<p>Give it time.</p>
<p>I agree. Give it some time so you can adjust. Unless you plan on living from your parents' basement for the rest of your life, you do realize eventually you're going to have to live away from home? I think you should stick with it at least for a year, and then see how things go from there. Most kids have some trouble adjusting.</p>
<p>If it still sucks then, transfer to a school that you live near.</p>
<p>=) I don't plan on living in my parent's basement..I would still dorm at this new school but I would be able to come home every weekend..</p>
<p>(give me some credit, I did get into cornell)</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice though.</p>
<p>Got in but won't hold a diploma. No shame in rolling back the clock, living near home, finding your self. Good luck.</p>
<p>If you really feel that your homesickness is getting in the way of your ability to function, then apply to schools closer to home and have that option open. If you end up feeling better as the semester continues, you can always decide to stay. It may make you feel better just to know you have an out if you want it. You may not be ready to be far from home at this point. That's OK. I have heard of many kids who decide to move closer to home during college. Time will tell.</p>
<p>I think you've already answered the question yourself. Considering you've just admitted you can't be happy at Cornell, yes I most certainly suggest you transfer out to a more fitting university. </p>
<p>However, unless you would prefer being the type who remains near "home" his whole life, you should remind yourself that college is a growing experience and a great part of this homesickness you're currently dealing with is a completely natural part of the whole "maturing" and "learning how to live on your own" process. You will always encounter a certain sense of homsickness regardless of what college you attend, however the degree of homesickness can be increased or decreased depending on how much you enjoy the particular college. And, juding by your description, you sound like you completely detest Cornell, so I stand by my reccommendation that you transfer. </p>
<p>Take care and good luck.</p>
<p>hey :D
I am in the same position as you are, maybe even worse cause I'm an international student and significantly younger than any of my classmates. After one year at my college, I'm applying to a different school, hopefully this year wont be as bad as last year. </p>
<p>Well the reason I dont like my school very much is that, almost all (~80%) of the students are of one race. This is not exagerration. And I always embraced diversity. I'm amazed by it. </p>
<p>But how I saw the previous year was it was a test for me, in a way that when I am placed in a situation that is completely awkward and new to me, will I be able to get out of my comfort zone and confront these challenges? Well, seems to me like it's way too early for you to decide now, but try changing how you approach things. Cornell is a very good school (you are lucky and special to be there), with a lot of people, and definitely a high chance of meeting someone else other than the people you hate now. Just try to break out of your shell. I will do the same :D</p>
<p>I think you've got to give it more of a chance, if for nothing else than because Cornell is such a great school and you probably worked hard to get in. You've probably been there for about a month, right? I remember absolutely hating school for entire fall quarter last year and I wanted to transfer. Now I look at where I am and realize it would have been the biggest mistake in the world. I can't say what worked for me will work for you, but I do go to a similar school and can tell you the situation you described sounds similar to mine (except I was closer to home)</p>
<p>And as far as the friends issue, when you go to a school where you don't know anyone, you have to start out by talking to everyone. There are a ton of people I drifted from after fall quarter last year, but it was because I began to meet people with similar interests that I got along with. Who you meet in the first month or two is probably not who you are going to spend the next four years with.</p>
<p>I agree with many of the posts. Give it more time. The worst thing to do is have a negative attitude(I know its hard to throw on a smile when you're feeling blue). I am a sophomore now that transferred and I had a similar start to my freshman year. I had just gone away to college and I had a GF who went to another college and that was the only thing on my mind. We broke up and I became very negative from it. I had trouble making friends at first because I was always acting sour. If you have a positive attitude people will be much more likely to befriend you.</p>
<p>OP, What are you trying to say? Your only valid criticism of Cornell is that it's way too expensive, which I agree with--however--how is it Cornell's fault that you're lonely or gauche? How is it Cornell's fault that your aren't happy with your life right now/are going through some existential crisis? You need to re-allocate the blame to yourself and as others have suggested "find yourself" or something. BTW, Cornell's English department is one of the best in the world, being associated the likes of Kurt Vonnegut, Pearl S. Buck, Vladimir Nabokov, etc.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the advice everyone. Nothing to do but wait I suppose. I did work very hard to get in here. I owe it to myself to give it some more time.</p>
<p>I totally comprehend that loneliness, because I had been though that process. No! I am still trying to overcome that feeling.
The first university I attended was Penn State. Nevertheless, that is the first time being away from home (I am not an international student but my home is in Taiwan.) I cried the first few days.
After one semester, I stopped two years (was back in Taiwan). Then spring 2008 I attended University of San Francisco. This time it wasnÂ’t that worse, but I donÂ’t know why I transferred to University of San Diego for fall 2008 semester.
I HATE University of San Diego so much so much it is indescribable by words. I hate my roommate, hate the classes I am taking, hate everything (besides the weather) and I have no friends at USD.
I learned my lesson the hard way, yet I am still going back to USF next semester. USF isnÂ’t as prestige as Cornell (not even close). Actually, its ranking is like 127 (around there). However, the lesson I learned is that one should be in a place that they are comfortable at.
I really hope this helps.
If you have any more questions you can e-mail me or search me on facebook. My e-mail is <a href="mailto:winter_passion@hotmail.com">winter_passion@hotmail.com</a></p>
<p>Sorry for all the errors in the previous msg. I was like crying....</p>
<p>Perhaps I was too harsh, muffin. I can certainly understand how one can feel lonely at Cornell. Perhaps I can even empathize a bit. Yes, there are many loud, vapid, philistines out here—moreso than I anticipated. But. There are also lots of pretty cool people here—humble, down-to-earth, witty, intelligent people. You have to find them. It's as simple as that, but obviously much easier said than done. So, yes, giving it some time is a wise decision—but—you also have to take the initiative socially, which for a shy person is excruciating. Hope everything works out.</p>