I am over a month into my study abroad program and am absolutely miserable. The program advertised to me from my home university was a complete misrepresentation. Instead I live next to campus in a really small town in France, leaving me extremely bored. The academics are way to easy and the coursework seems like a waste of time. I also feel extremely isolated and have no one I would consider a friend. After the amount of time and money organizing this experience, I feel guilty for not enjoying the program. I have been trying to keep busy and travel, but I still feel unfulfilled. I literally check a countdown to my return everyday. What suggestions do you all have for making the most of this experience?
Do as much as you can to improve you language skills, that is one of the big benefits of study abroad. My kid who had a less than stellar study abroad experience taught herself to cook in her spare time! Keep doing your best to meet people. My kid ended up making more friends among other international students than from her host country (there weren’t really any other Americans where she was, and she was in a sublet studio apartment not super close to campus, so making friends was challenging). Honestly, visits from people from home (a couple friends in nearby locations that she saw for a few days) and some traveling she did were her high points.
You are one third done. Travel!
Easy classes so they can spend all their time travelling and/or partying are the main requirements for most study abroad students. Very few programs are academically rigorous. Often there are special easy classes just for you, and very little contact with the host university.
I think that sometimes these programs are sold with very high expectations - make friends for life and have a dream experience that will never be bettered. In reality, it’s chance if the other people on your program have a lot in common with you. So in this case, they haven’t turned out to be your best buddies. That’s ok! Rather than wasting time beating yourself up about it (it’s no-one’s fault) take up some of the suggestions intparent gives.
Have a look on Trip Advisor and find out where you can visit nearby. Even in winter in touristy places there will be a lot of visitors about. English speaking tours etc (the easiest place to meet Americans in French is often the nearest McDonalds to a tourist attraction).
What did you expect to find in a small French town that you have not? Where can you go to find this? Is there are program leader you can speak to with your concerns about the classes? Is the language an issue? Sometimes students have learnt a language to a high level but have never spoken to native speakers, and when they do they find immersion in the language challenging.
Finally, is the weather getting you down? Do you come from a sunnier climate? Dark at 6pm and grey all day killing you? It’s good to be aware of this. Choose not to let the weather dictate your mood. You’ve survived the worst point of the year and days are getting lighter.
Ultimately living in a foreign country is hard for most people at one time or another. Nearly 100% of people experience some kind of culture shock at one point. You are not alone in this at all and almost certainly this feeling will pass. It doesn’t sound like your experience is unpleasant. Just not as exciting as you would like.
Good luck!
So to update everyone, I have been travelling. Even when I am travelling to different cities (by myself though), I still feel isolated and miserable. I am trying to focus on taking great photos to take my mind off everything. However, I still am balling my eyes out every night. I just hope I do not feel like this the rest of the time I am here, but I do not see things changing anytime soon!!
Are you staying in hostels? Usually a great way to meet people.
Have you been communicating with friends and family back home?
Bawling your eyes out every night is pretty extreme. You should get opinions from others that know you well, or see a professional. You may need to consider coming home early or transferring to a different location if that’s possible.
Please get some help–advisor? parents? relative? friend? parent of friend? You need some assistance/guidance beyond what you find on cc.
Okay, my kid also Skyped with friends at home several times a week during her stay. But she was not on a program even… there was NO ONE else around her living situation. She was in a sublet studio a couple of subway stops from campus in a slightly sketchy neighborhood, there were NO college students in her building or even her neighborhood, and as far as she could tell not ONE OTHER American student at her university. (I helped her move in, so this isn’t just her report, it is really how it was). She was a direct enrollment foreign student for the semester at a place where there just aren’t programs. She invited other students to get coffee, see movies, and accepted every one of the few invitations that came her way. She is normally very outgoing and makes new friends very easily (It is sort of her superpower), but the country she was in is well known for its introverted population. There were no “clubs” on campus like you find at a US college, and she couldn’t get a job as a foreign student. So she did have daily conversations with friends at home, and I don’t think that was a bad thing. I made her at least email me every day to make sure she was safe, given her living situation/neighborhood.
But I can’t tell from your post if you just aren’t clicking with the people around you, or if you are really in an isolated situation (no roommates, no other students in your building, no other Americans or English speaking students around to talk to, and a student population that really isn’t very welcoming to outsiders). IF there are people around you (roommates, suitemates, others in your building), then I think you need to make more of an effort to get to know them. Hang out with them, do whatever there is to do in your town (even if it is going for walks, playing cards, drinking coffee, whatever). The program isn’t responsible for your relationships with other people. Skype with friends or family a few times a week, but if you have other options of human beings to spend time with, try to focus more on that. So what if they aren’t the first people you would gravitate to given an unlimited or large pool of friends? Also, if your classwork is too easy, can you register for an additional class? Even if it won’t transfer. My kid also found the coursework ridiculously easy at her foreign university – far easier than at the 2nd tier LAC she attended in the US. She ended up registering for a lot of classes to keep busy.
Also, do you know anyone else studying abroad in your region of Europe? My kid traveled to meet some friends once (to another country), and that was fun. She stayed in hostels, as mentioned above.
Do you have a bike? Might be worth getting one to explore the countryside. If you know anyone with bikes, it could be an activity you could suggest, too.
Hi Meggymo,
I’ve interviewed a lot of study abroad students and the biggest difference I see in whether a student enjoys their experience or not is how involved they get in the community. Does your host university offer any clubs or organizations that you can join? Perhaps intramural sports?
If not, look into your community. Are there church groups, community service organizations, local bands, etc.? Maybe you could find a school to volunteer to teach at or even a business or farm that would accept you as a volunteer or intern.
Even if it’s not something that you’re super-excited about at first, committing to getting involved with something on a regular basis will help bring you into regular contact with people and might help connect you to something you’d be even more interested in or to people that you can go adventuring together with.
Based on what you wrote above, any engagement has to be better than what you’re going through, so I’d encourage you to go out and give it a shot!
Good luck!
^Nice first post. 
Good advice.
I am a direct enrollment student at my abroad university. Many of the other Americans I have met are in a program that includes regular travel and other excursions. Because of this, they all seem really close. They are also just not available that often due to their travel opportunities. I am currently visiting a friend who is studying abroad in a nearby country. She in classes most of the time, though. I Skype home almost everyday and my family is planning to meet me in Paris for a weekend. I just had a really frustrating application process which left me in a negative place. When I return home, I will try to reach out with others more. I am normally really outgoing, but since I arrived I find it difficult to be so open. Thanks for all the advice though! It truly does help but things in perspective!
Direct enrollment is more work to set up, and often less satisfying when you get there. I usually advise against it when it comes up out here based on my kid’s experience. In her case she had a good reason (years of study of the language, no programs available, and she had spent a summer abroad in the country in HS). But there are so many programs to France, that does not seem to make as much sense. But you are where you are now. You need to put the application process behind you, which it sounds like you are starting to do.
"I am a direct enrollment student at my abroad university. Many of the other Americans I have met are in a program that includes regular travel and other excursions. Because of this, they all seem really close. They are also just not available that often due to their travel opportunities. "
Wait, I’m confused-why aren’t you traveling WITH them? If you’re all on the same train together, they’d be available.
Can you get in that program? I’d be all over that.
MotherofDragons “Can you get in that program?” No, it sounds like she’s already a direct enrollment into the university in France – while other American students there at the same university enrolled via a study abroad program through their own home university that has a structured program of cultural activities and regional travel set up as part of the exchange program. Correct, OP?
^Correct!
Is this a semester long program? Are you taking French language courses with international students or regular subject courses with French students?
Why did you choose direct enrol and why did you choose this university and town? Think back to those reasons. Then go and do the things you imagined doing.
I’m curious…do the people around you know that you are an American? If so, do they have any particular interest in you because of that? When you are overseas and encounter people who find you especially interesting because you are different, you have that to enjoy that you don’t have at home.
Well, that totally stinks. I’m sorry about that (insert internet <> here). I would probably try and talk to the university to see if I could piggyback on the other program that’s more socially integrated. It couldn’t hurt to ask.
^^ It doesn’t totally stink, it’s the reality of direct enrollment (cheap) versus a (probably expensive) study abroad program. That’s what you pay for, when you pay all those thousands of dollars for study abroad: structured cultural activities, support and an almost instant social life with your fellow program participants.
Speaking to the French university probably won’t do any good since it’s the sponsoring American university’s study abroad program likely doing all the organizing.
OP’s experience reflects the reality of studying in Europe in the way most Europeans do: which is that you’re on your own, living usually at home with your family, and responsible for organizing your own social life and cultural activities.
Yes, those other students might be paying Harvard, Yale, Columbia, etc’s tuition cost – and H,Y,C foot the bill for the enrichment/cultural activities/weekend sightseeing trips for the foreign exchange program students that they have studying at the university in France.