Hi,
I know this sounds a bit ridiculous but I have such a hard time reaching out to people that could help me career wise, etc. The key to networking is emailing and my goodness I just get so stuck in the middle of composing one. I never know what to say, I stumble upon my words, never know if what Im writing is awkward, etc.
Like right now, I was given the email of a professor at the grad school in which I am applying–I was referred to her by a mutual contact. I want to right this email but I don’t know what to say in the email—I was supposed to email her a month ago but ive just been procrastinating. Someone please help and offer advice. How can I solve this problem??
When people communicate, they usually have a goal. What is your goal in contacting this professor?
^Very good point. It’s pretty hard to write an email if you don’t need to say anything other than “Hi, I’d like to network with you.” If you have a reason to contact her it could definitely help. For example, you could be emailing this professor to get an inside opinion about the grad school - what are the strengths and weaknesses, are there lots of research opportunities, etc.
Good point. Im really not sure. I am more so doing it because I was told to and it would seem quite silly to not get in contact with someone that is a professor at the program ive applied to. Is it silly to ask for an inside opinion if Ive already applied? I suppose asking about research opportunities would be good. hmmm idk idk
It’s not silly if you ask in a way that involves her a bit more. For example, you might try asking what she would focus on if she were a graduate student there, as opposed to asking her to tell you what you might like there. Ask her about HER research. Does she like teaching graduate students? Is there something she wishes they WOULDN’T do? 
Thank you ^. I will try that approach. Does anyone have advice about emailing overall? Idk why its such a problem area for me
I think you should focus on the goal-oriented approach I mentioned above. You have to want to achieve something or there is no point in e-mailing.
In addition to the above, if you’re worried about the actually wording of the email, it never hurts to ask people who it sounds. Ask a roommate, a friend, a parent, whoever you feel comfortable with. I’ve asked my roommate tons of times what she thinks of an email I’m writing (if it makes sense, if it sounds polite, if I should reword something, if I should add something) and vice versa. I work with other students and we’ll ask each other all the time to reach each others emails to people or ask how we should say something. We bounce around suggestions of what to say or how to say it. I have old friends who ask me all the time how I should word things. It happens a lot when your writing a type of email that you’ve never written before (like contacting a professor at another university who you don’t know). The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it, and at some point, people will be asking you for advice on how to write an email.
But the conversation always starts with what your goal is for this email (what do you want to ask/know, what do you want to outcome to be). That’s what you have to figure out first.
I’m also an email phobic person. If it’s an important email, I’ll occasionally send the text to a friend or my mom to look it over. Then, I just copy paste the text into the email and hit the send button before I have time to start overanalyzing it.
I used to be you.
Find a goal, keep it short, delete half the email after you write it while still keeping the meaning (until you can write these subconsciously). Perfection is the enemy of the good. Click send even when you’re freaking out about it; it’s not nearly as bad as you think it is.
talk to your adviser and ask for an example email. Or google.
Such a relief to learn that others relate to this problem! thank you for this advice. @victory perfectionism is the underlining problem here…that and being self-conscious
@Vctory Wonderful post. I tell my (perfectionist) my son all the time “perfection is the enemy of good enough”