I have no friends and I think I'm becoming depressed (college freshmen)

<p>I love my school and was so excited to go. My roommates are really nice and the first day I was happy and basically just tried chatting it up with everyone. I don't really know what happened but on the second day, everyone was in tight-knit friend groups that did not include me. I did try to get into the conversations but I would just end up standing there listening to everyone else talk and feel so dumb. Now it's the third day and I literally do not have any people I can call my friends.</p>

<p>There are always people in my dorm whom I am not friends with and it's so loud and I just have to retreat to my corner of the room. And even worse, they all ignore me even though I'm right there. What should I do? Will things improve when classes start? I'm starting to feel depressed and cry a lot when I was such a happy kid in high school...</p>

<p>Hang in there. The first few weeks can be a tough transition for so many reasons. One piece of advice is to join some clubs. There you will meet people of like interests, and also some upper classmen who can show you the ropes. You’ll have a common topic/activity to talk about as well, so it won’t feel so awkward.</p>

<p>Three days does not a deep friendship make. Yes, kids glue together in small groups in these early days, but usually just because they don’t want to be alone. Trust yourself. Over time you will find your kindred spirits. Try to remember that everyone is nervous. Focus less on how they are viewing you and approach each person as an opportunity to get to know someone new and different. Also, this topic has come up recently on the parent forum with parents giving good advice. Might want to look there.</p>

<p>Lastly, if you are feeling depressed and this is interfering with meeting people, consider talking to a counselor. Most colleges have free counselors who have dealt with this issue many times before and can help you through it. Sometimes just one good cry/vent session can do wonders.</p>

<p>Good luck to you. It WILL get better.</p>

<p>Thank you so much. I was truly feeling hopeless but now I feel better. Hopefully what you say comes true!</p>

<p>My dd went through the same thing; she joined clubs and did a LOT of volunteering. She met a lot of students through her volunteer experiences.
You have to go outside the dorm and visit different areas of the campus. You’ll find something that will interest you!</p>

<p>“Hanging” in there and expecting everything to come to you is probably the worst advice to be honest. First week = is probably the most important week of your 4-year college experience, socially.</p>

<p>I went through the same thing my freshman year (I’m not currently in school b/c of tuition costs), but I made mistakes that I regret, so I never made friends. I mostly hung out in my RA’s room and listened to conversations. I went home nearly every weekend, so I never got to hang out with hallmates on the weekend, and there were a lot of group activities I missed. I also never left my door open, so that lessened my contact with hallmates, and my roommate gossiped about me behind my back to the other girls. All of her soccer friends ignored me and looked down on me, so I know how that is. But looking back, I would advise that going to movie nights in someone’s room (even if you don’t really like the movie), joining a club, and talking to classmates, and going to meals with other people are great ways to make friends. I’m glad you have nice roommates. Try to do roommate dates together. And it’s only the first week. :)</p>

<p>It simply is not true that the ‘first week is the most important week of your college life, socially’. It can take take time to find and make friends with people whose interests match your own. That’s what clubs and activities are for. Be bold–attend a meeting of a club that sounds interesting to you.</p>

<p>Thanks everyone! It just feels horrible because I see my high school friends on Facebook with their new college friends and they’re always asking me how college is and I have to lie or sound pathetic. I wasn’t one of the “popular” kids in high school but I did have a group of friends…</p>

<p>Parent here. Freshman year is a stressful time because everyone is trying to fit in. Give it time. Alliances formed very early usually happen because of necessity and usually fizzle out. You will find your tribe. Attend any of your dorm social activities, join clubs, don’t assume you are alone in this. You are probably among others who feel the same way. My D was in your same boat freshman yr And now she has graduated and has remained close friends with those she met eventually freshman and soph year. She actually is living together with 2 of them. Best of luck.</p>

<p>Please dont fret…give yourself some time…once your classes begin, you will meet lots of new people. Don’t be shy, get to know your classmates, make eye contact and strike up a conversation. Form a study group or ask classmates to coffee, to discuss the class afterwards.</p>

<p>Try a volunteer activity, join a group on campus, or consider joining one of the churchs’ student’s group, (even if you aren’t particularly religious). Introduce yourself to your professors and go to office hours. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself. Try baking some cookies and walk around offering them to your dormmates as an icebreaker.</p>

<p>I agree once classes start it will likely be easier to meet people. Especially if you attend a big school, I’d assume it is pretty casual to ask a classmate if they want to get lunch with you after class, as it must be a hassle to find and meet up with other friends with a tight schedule. </p>

<p>Also if you haven’t considered greek life, maybe you should. I feel like if you can find a sorority with mutual liking then that’d be a good way to guarantee yourself a “sisterhood” of everlasting friendships and put yourself out there. (Not sure about your school, but I know some begin rushing right away which would open tons of doors to new people).</p>

<p>I go to a small liberal arts school and yes, I will definitely be joining some clubs now!</p>

<p>Yup thats my problem. I didn’t moved in late after the orientation thing. This is a small conservative town. I get looks because of my tattoos. Im starting to actually think they can see the ghetto in me , its crazy. Coming from LA, this is a big shock to me .</p>

<p>I am currently about mid-way through my first semester here at CSU and it honestly is pretty frustrating socially. I came here with high hopes and anticipation, thinking that I’d be bro-in with my hallmates, get a girlfriend, go to parties on the weekends, and hanging out and having a good time. But no, for whatever reason it can’t be that way. Now I am sitting alone every time I go and get a meal, I always am passing groups of both guys and girls and see many couples. My roommate hardly says a word to me, and isn’t all that social, but actually goes out and never includes me. It’s pretty depressing, so I thought I’d share my story too.</p>

<p>I thought I had a lot of friends by the last 2 years of my high school experience, but I might have exploited unnecessary things to be social. I started smoking weed, and that for a period of time would draw me closer to people. All the sudden I was becoming friends with more people at my highschool than ever before. It felt great, but by the end of senior year, I started to feel a little exploited for my ability to get bud (I had my medical marijuana card, so I had easier access to it), and my car. The car was a pretty big social factor I realized. There was a time at my school when my parents would not allow me to use the car and nobody in our group had cars. So our group would typically walk down the street everyday and smoke. I felt outcasted by them when they were all one large group.</p>

<p>Anyway aside from that, I like highschool by the end but started to anticipate college. I was excited for a new refreshment of people, and my college is GIANT - 30,000 students. I went to a big school on purpose just for my desire to individualize further and meet more people with my attitudes, beliefs, and enjoyments as me, and I didn’t see how this wouldn’t happen. But it did :(</p>

<p>First week was ok, but it was kind of sad because by the second day I realized I wasn’t gonna be buds with any of these guys, except for maybe the fella across the hall, let’s just call him B. B really was the only guy I ever actually got together with and got his number. We chilled maybe 2 or 3 times in total. We went to dinner one time. He also hit me up only once, to see if I’d be down to drive and pick up a somewhat cute girl he had met to go and chill. After a while, something I guess must not have clicked because even though he lives RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME he never makes an effort to hit me up, but I always see him walk out and go meet up with his buddies that live in our dorm building, all of whom I’ve met but never have made an effort to hit me up again. I really just don’t know what the deal with me is at this point!! It just makes me sad - I try to be friendly to people, but it seems like people are antisocial when I try and talk, and then I just see all these newly made friend groups walking around and laughing everywhere.</p>

<p>So obviously at this point I’m thinking something must be neurologically fundamentally different in my communication skills possibly. When I was young it took me longer to speak and I was diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder. This frustrating condition can result in different things, but for me it sometimes makes it hard for me to word-decode. I’ll here a word and a series of words but for some reason it takes my brain longer to process the meaning. This is just downhill from there because it’s hard for me to look at people when I’m listening, which is caused by how I’m trying to process both body language and word meaning at the same time.</p>

<p>I know I’m smart but I must be viewed as dumb or slower because I have a hard time knowing common things, like celebrities and movie actors. Actors I’m terrible with. It’s pretty often that people will mention some random name and others will speak on a similar idea of the unknown name I just heard, and at that point I’m just like great another common figure that I have no familiarity with.</p>

<p>In terms of relationships, I’ve never had one. Heck, I’ve never even so much as kissed a girl. I hear of people all the time just hooking up, cheating on each other, the rumors that go along with them. For me, this is all unknown territory and is a whole nother language to me. First off, I’ve always been kinda repulsed by p*ssy, kinda because it’s where she pees and also her anus is like an inch and a half way. Sex is I don’t know just the concept of it seems kind of nasty. There was one girl I got into a semi-relationship through texting. She was still in highschool and thought to move on, but she was really the only girl that really liked me enough to message me all the time.</p>

<p>If you have read through all of what I have just said, Thank you. You took the time to look through this. I need help! I don’t really know what to do. I don’t know where I can meet friends anymore. I don’t consider ANY of the kids on my floor my friends, and it’s crappy. I’ve cut back a lot on weed, been working out more, but it’s still just so hard. Any advice would be fantastic!!!</p>

<p>With Meetup these days, I have to say it’s easy enough to find people with common interests… That’s a good place to start for friendship!</p>