I have no particular interests... Please help?

Applying to College
1

Ok, so basically, I’m a rising sophmore with a 4.17 gpa weighed, 3.95 unweighed. This summer, I took Algebra 2 and got
an A. I didn’t take the SATs yet, and I didn’t take APs yet. I’m not planning to take AP world.
BUT.
I don’t do sports because I dislike them. I don’t have any friends, I’m apathetic, I have no interests in nearly ANYTHING, it seems like I can’t even do anything. Sure, I can play piano, but I’m not even good at it. I’m not good at chess. I just don’t have the motivation to practice, and I hate the violin (I was in my school orchestra my freshman year, now I quit)… even though I’ve played it for a long time, but I just never got good at it. I see all these people, all these people who are concertmaster, and they’re so good. I could never be like them. I feel like quitting. It’s giving me anxiety; whenever I play the violin, I just feel this anxiety and it feels like I’m about to break down. I haven’t even played the violin for months because of this. And I feel unmotivated to do piano. And–
I can’t even do sports. I S-U-C-K. I can’t even run a mile, I can’t swim, I’m not flexible (I can’t even do sit-n-reach)… I just can’t do it.
I can’t even do school clubs. I’m not interested in them. I’m not in any clubs. I feel so empty and apathetic. The only thing that’s keeping me alive is my good grades, and don’t you tell me that I will “crash,” because STUDYING is my only survival. Studying, good SAT scores, it’s what’s keeping me floating. I am a very hardworking student.
BUT.
Despite that, it feels like I have no life. I have no friends, no interests… i spend all day on the internet while I’m not studying, I’m sick a lot, and my orchestra teacher hates me.

  Please help me out.... The only thing that's keeping me alive is my passion of math and science. I absolutely love it. Math and its complexity, science and its unique nature, and learning... I love learning. But...
  Last year I had a science fair. I didn't have any ideas on what to do. I couldn't do research because I had no idea on what to do. I had a concussion at the same time. I was so scared, I quit honors science and moved down to regular science because of that. 

  What's also keeping me alive is community service. I just do library, and senior center; that's it. THAT'S IT. Nothing else. Zilch. Other than that, I spend my lonely life alone, in my room, playing computer games and studying. That's it. Someone, anyone, please help me. 

 So my question is:
 1. Will colleges accept that fact that I'm apathetic and have low self esteem? I have a high GPA, please tell me that accept that fact! If they don't I'm a dead man! I don't wanna become a bum because of this!
 2. Will colleges view me as a no-good apathetic loser who shouldn't go to college? I thought they only accept people who has a "well-balanced" schedule. I don't have a schedule, which is like, ok, 5:00, do lacrosse or any of that stuff. 7:00,  go to bed. UGH I'M SO STRESSED. No! It's dumb and overrated! No one cares! All star athletes are overrated! People who go to camps and have interests are overrated! NO! 
3. I know that I  should have posted this on a "depression" forum instead. I feel this way, and talking to people isn't going to make me feel better. Please don't view me as a hypocrite or a person seeking attention. I really feel this way. 

4. What will colleges think about this?
2

Also, besides me going to the internet, I always fantazise a better life… I always go after people who are all stars or seem smart…

3

I’m saying this as someone who has felt very similar to how you have felt – you need to see a counselor and/or a therapist about this. College should not be your concern right now (you’re only a sophomore. You have time to worry about that later). What you are talking about sounds much more severe than normal teenage apathy. You may suffer from depression or some form of anxiety disorder. And I know you say that “talking to people isn’t going to make me feel better,” but you know what might make you feel better? Talking to a licensed professional who can help you sort out what exactly is wrong, as well as potentially taking medication.

Please, please talk to your parents. Talk to your school counselor. You say you’re sick a lot – talk to your general practitioner, if you have one. Once you’re taking care of yourself, THEN you can start worrying about college (and for what it’s worth, plenty of schools focus more on GPA and test scores than on extracurriculars. You’re not damned if you don’t play sports or participate in dozens of clubs or whatever; a 3.95 GPA and corresponding test scores will make you a desirable candidate at plenty of places).

4

Share what you wrote above with your parents. Beg them to get you to a doctor about this. Ask your mother to also schedule an appointment with your guidance counselor so that you can get your college planning in perspective.

You can get into college with a strong GPA and test scores, but you also need to be able to handle high school and college emotionally. You sound at significant risk of depression or an anxiety disorder and should not try to handle it on your own.

5

I agree with SpringAwake15, you should definitely talk to a counselor, therapist, or doctor. Get some help to change your perspective and imagine what a great essay you’ll have about how you overcame a struggle :slight_smile: Showing the strength by getting some help to change your situation and perspective, now that would be impressive and any college would be impressed by that!

6

When people are completing college applications they generally try very hard to “put their best foot forward”. When the time comes for you to apply, you will probably want to present yourself in a somewhat positive manner and not how you are describing yourself and your feelings in your post. But you sound like you have some work to do before college application time comes around.
Do you have people you can trust? Do you have any advisors or people you respect and admire who might be able to help you work through some of these issues? How about your parents or other relatives? Teachers or clergy or your doctor?
You can also look for a professional person who might be able to give you some help with your thinking about yourself and offer you ways to feel better and it would not simply be talk therapy. You could get some concrete pointers that will make a difference.
This may or may not be the right forum for your worries, but I am responding to what you have written. Those schedules , structure people make for themselves, often help people to feel less aimless, and therefore the possibility to be more productive and engaged in activities and with others.

7

So you like math and studying… does your school have a math team of any kind? Or quiz bowl or academic decathlon? You could try those. BUT, even those activities require you to practice to get good at them. One of my kids did quiz bowl, she was honestly pretty awful her first year or two. (Slow to the buzzer, didn’t know many answers, etc.) But she picked some topics she was interested in and studied them, and worked on her buzzer speed, and ended up ranked 3rd in the state by her senior year. So find something that is more aligned with your interests than violin or sports, and put some effort into over time. It will pay off.

I agree that you should seek professional help. But you also should look for some activities that match up with what you like to do.

8

Professional help is such a waste of money and time. I can’t find any interest, that’s it. I find ECs such a waste of time because I see absolutely no point in them. I know that this feeling will eventually pass away. How can a therapist, who I barely know, change my perception?

9

Also, I can handle the intensity of college. I’m confident with that. Like I said, math and science and philosophy is what is keeping me alive. I live for them. I want to be a medical major someday and save other people who really need it. I’m not depressed and I shouldn’t be; there are other people with diseases and disabilities that should be a concern. I just overreact when I have to encounter something so intimidating (i.e. science fair) but I won’t make that mistake again. I’m apathetic, but not when it comes to math. Algebra 2 was a breeze and made me so happy, but when that class was over, I was back into that “depressed” state.

I read a lot of books about psychology. I’m pretty sure that I can overcome this myself. I don’t need any counselor to help me. I know all the tricks and twists the that counselors do, and they DON’T help. I’m no fool.

To madmecrabster: Yes, I do have people who I admire: Those people who I “wish” I want to be!

I hate ECs, I’m apathetic, yet, I want to be like them… That feeling never goes away. Those people… I can’t talk to them, they won’t help me because, no duh, THEY’RE BUSY! “I wake up at 5 in the morning to do swim practice, go to school, after that I have rehearsal for a school play, then I have lacrosse, and then I have JV basketball, then I have to take care of my sister, then I have to pull an all nighter for AP world. Ohh, how I am so stressed!”

I’m not stressed, I just bored and like to bother people online and mass spam text. Then they block me, then they hate me. Then they don’t believe my story.

10

Why did you post? What are you looking for?

11

Sounds like you need Jesus in your life

12

My summers consist of: I wake up at 9 in the morning, eat breakfast, then study for an hour. Internet for 2 hours going on college confidential and yahoo answers and google searching, “I have no life. I suck. Help me, I have no interest in anything.” Then I text one of those EC people and they shut down on me.

13

Hello,
I’m actually currently a high school student so I can’t give you much advice, but I can tell you from research and stories that there are many, MANY colleges that depend on your GPA and classes and not really on your extracurriculars. You will not fail to get into a college, you are doing fine. A part of your paranoia may be from this website in general where there are tons of high achieving students therefore a lot of bias. I know many students around me that didn’t do clubs, or sports, nor had any idea what they’d like to do and they got in fine. However, I agree with everyone above. Before you worry about getting into college, you should worry about whether or not you’ll be able to handle college emotionally. Please talk to someone about your worries. I would recommend your guidance counselor simply because they’ll be able to dispel your views about whether or not you’ll get in. They’ve worked with plenty of students so they understand. Also, it seems as if you feel inferior to all your fellow peers. Don’t. I understand how you feel about feeling inferior. I’ve been doing piano for 8 years however everyone I know is crazy amazing and I hated practicing just like you and I just couldn’t enjoy playing the piano. What I did was I stopped taking lessons and going to competitions. After that, it slowly became something I actually enjoyed and would do in my spare time because there was no pressure to compare myself. What you’re doing is comparing yourself to not only the top tier, but the people who honestly enjoy it and do it 8 hours a day. Your mindset seems to be, no matter what i do i’ll never be as good. However, if you enjoyed it and did it eight hours a day, you’d be just as good. They’re not miraculously geniuses and you can always catch up if you dedicate your time to it. On another note, if you don’t like it, then don’t do it. Find something else you’re willing to devote 8 hours a day to. Keep an open mind, if you look into all the stuff you can try out, you’ll find that there’s a LOT more than you expected just as i’ve been able to find out. You said you have no interests, however is math and science not an interest? Even if you don’t want to be a researcher, you can always teach it or do something else with it. You seem to be very passionate about it so go ahead and go down that path. Enjoy life while you’re searching for what you’d like to do related to math and science. College is not the end, it’s only the beginning.
(Sorry it’s so long… you situation just seemed very similar to mine. )

14

All I want is an inspiration. A real inspiration. A friend who would stand besides me all the time. I don’t want to chase after those people who seem cool anymore. I want to chase a person who would help me in real life. A kid my age who would never judge me.

15

I gave many study advices to people who have a lot of ECs, ohh JV lacrosse and soccer. I told them that, every hour you study has to be the most productive hour yet. I give them so much advice and then I ask,
“Do you want me to stay after school and tutor you?”
they said, “No man I have blah blah blah ecs.”
I was devastated. All of that for nothing and I get a stab in the back.

16

And this is exactly why I hate people with ECs. They treat me unfairly. They’re all pompus and think that they’re smart. They need help!!!

17

I was in this hellhole orchestra for a year. The orchestra teachers treated me like crap. They said bad things about me about how I suck and how I have little commitment. That class isn’t a class! It’s a competition.

18

Now do you people see my problem of how I spam text? I spam spam spam? Exactly.

19

You act like how I was in sophomore year too. Calm down. It’s fine. I get it, people who have goals and dreams seem really amazing. You really want to have something to do too with EC’s and ect. You do have an interest: Math and science. Just do whatever relates to those subjects. Go and take online classes. Participate in a competition. There is a benefit: You feel good when you win. There’s no need to force yourself to do EC’s you don’t like. I tried forcing myself to like engineering. It only made me feel awful about myself. There are many people who find their inspiration in college, or even later in life. You are acting somewhat unreasonable with your perception of people who have EC’s. They’re busy so it’s not like you can blame them for not wanting to be tutored. Although they need some help, they don’t want to do academics more than they have to, which is why some of them do EC’s. Because they enjoy it just like you enjoy math and science.

20

Oh, and your orchestra teacher was just a bad teacher. Go ahead and play it on your own spare time if you enjoy it and watch youtube videos to teach yourself. Many geniuses were self taught. Don’t give up because someone told you to. Fight them and win, and if you have to give up, give up on your own terms.