After applying to 10 schools and getting into 7, I finally narrowed it down to two, LMU in LA or Fordham in NY. I recently visited both schools, but I’m terrified I’m making the wrong decision either way. It’s not that the schools aren’t good, their beautiful with great programs in great cities. I’m just freaking out about making a decision. I’m from NY, so I feel like I’m missing a huge opportunity by not going to LA. But I also feel like I might not fit in and make friends at a school that is predominantly kids from Cali. I looked on the Facebook group for LMU and everyone seems so perfect, it makes me think I can’t fit in there. At the same time though, I know I’ll fit in at Fordham (I know I fit in with NY, NJ, Mass, PA kids). But I just feel like I’m using Fordham as a default for me being scared. I need to commit soon and I just can’t decide without feeling like I’m making a HUGE mistake. I can’t be the only one going through this right now! Even if it’s not the exact same situation, someone please HELP!!!
What was your reason for applying to LMU in the first place?
Nobody here has met you/knows you. This is a choice you have to make and there is no right or wrong answer. If one school is much more affordable than the other that should be a consideration (especially if one requires debt/family hardship for you to attend). Other than that go with your gut – where do you think you would be happiest? Once you make a decision, never look back.
If you feel you would be overall happier at Fordham but would like to get a different expereince you can always do a semester or a year abroad/in another city. FWIW my S went to Fordham and loved it. We are from the suburbs of NYC but he lived on campus and had a great experience that was very different (much more city oriented) from being home.
Deep breath. The good news here is you can’t make a wrong decision. You have great options here.
Some things to consider when making your decision:
Is one school substantially more affordable than the other?
Can you afford the travel back and forth to CA?
Are the academics comparable for your major?
Do you prefer one campus over the other?
When you close your eyes and imagine college, which campus pops into your head?
I will say, don’t make your decision out of fear. 1/3 of the students at LMU are not from California. You won’t be the only person not from California. I would also caution judging students from social media. I’m sure you know that most people only post the most flattering photos.
There is an adjustment period when going to school no matter what. It’s normal to be nervous but don’t let that be your driving factor in deciding.
I don’t know if we can help you but why dont you, for the next 5 days, pretend you commit to Fordham, and feel if you have regret. Then, the next 5 days pretend you are fully committed to lmu, and after this experiment, see which gives you more affirmation or regret?
FYI, my daughter goes to LMU. She is from the Midwest with no real connections to CA or LA. She hasn’t had any problems with everyone being from cali. Her freshman roommate was from NC. This year’s is from NYC, and her suite mates are from OR and CA. Super friendly nice kids, she has close friends, other friends, and many acquaintances. And no they are not all perfect. My D does not look like a social media model/Cali girl, if that’s what you mean, and she’s super, super happy. Remember that what you see on social media is a tiny slice…social media is a bit self selecting as to what people are going to post themselves on the incoming student groups, etc. I see this on incoming student groups everywhere…I’m not sure they are really representative of the incoming class. Maybe see how many people are in that group, and what your freshman class size would be, to think of all the variety of people NOT on there!
Also, California is a big, big state and not everyone knows each other or thinks the same just because they have a CA zip code 
Both are great schools. I’m personally a big believer in - if it’s financially feasible - using your college years to explore what it’s like living somewhere different from home. (We are a California family who had Fordham on the shortlist, but not LMU, for that reason!) This shouldn’t be the only reason to choose a campus of course, but fear shouldn’t be the main reason either. Don’t forget colleges make it easy for new freshmen to meet people and socialize. Good luck with your decision!
Even though your fears about LMU are unwarranted, you feel comfortable with Fordham. That is probably your gut telling you Fordham is the right place, plus less travel expense.
@maciecd : This is why people have twins.
You sound just like my son last year trying to decide between William & Mary, which he viewed as quirky and academically intense, and UVA, which he found academically appealing but viewed the guys there as intimidating: they all seemed to him to be tall, athletic, well-dressed, preppy, confident, smooth, etc. Plus he had heard repeatedly the stereotypes about how the UVA social scene revolves around pretentious preppies and drunken frat guys. I was trying to stay neutral but what I finally told him was that if the only thing keeping him from UVA was a lack of confidence, that he had to understand that, on the outside, he totally fits into the incredibly wide variety of kids who attend UVA. And that his concerns really were somewhat irrational — buy a school tee and a backpack and you look like every other guy walking to class. As for the academics, the school is telling you by admitting you that they are confident you fit in and will succeed. My guy did choose UVA and IS loving it. Academically stellar grades, heavily involved in club sports, writing for the school paper, volunteering as a youths sports coach, going to UVA sports events, concerts, and speakers. And he’s found a solid group of friends who do intramurals, game nights, sushi fests, hikes, etc rather than drink. It’s been great. Just don’t let your own misconceptions about yourself (or the student body) hold you back. But you’re going to great no matter what school you pick. My son would have been just fine at W&M, too. Just a matter of being ready to work academically and put yourself out their socially by getting involved in clubs, activities, intramurals, and other campus activities.
Do you want to not be able to come home for short breaks (many don’t come across country for Thanksgiving). Do you want some religious course requirements?
Take both schools and do a Pro’s and Con’s list and see which one has more pro’s. Then when you see the answer ask yourself if you are glad which one had more pros than cons. If you were happy with the answer then go to that school. If you were disappointed with the answer then go to the one that lost because the disappointment is your heart telling you that is the one you hope had won. The heart won’t lie but the mind sometime can. Follow your heart.
You are not the only one going through this. My son has not decided either. He has one choice that is within driving distance and another that is a flight away (though not quite across the country).
You may be a bit more homesick if you are in CA (more in your first year than in later years). If you can travel back to NY for Thanksgiving, winter break and spring break, you will have the chance to return home and see your family and friends every couple of months.
But, this may be a great opportunity for you to take a risk and try something outside of your comfort zone. I don’t know your personality. If you are a homebody and staying close is important to you, then you should go to Fordham. You can always study abroad in the future.
Make a pro and con list, think about it for a day or two and then make your decision and don’t look back.
You will not make a mistake, either way. You have wonderful choices and I am sure you will make the most of it, whichever you choose.
Based on my experience, New Yorkers thrive in Los Angeles and you will love it there. I grew up in NJ and went to school entirely in the Northeast. I moved to LA for work, feeling like I was moving to a foreign country, but it was a huge surprise to find the cities have a lot of similarities - huge diversity, huge energy, just more sunshine. I think you will not regret the decision if you go to LMU.
I see it more as fear of leaving a comfort zone than a gut feel about Fordham being right, from the way it’s been described. I’m personally a big believer that people grow best when they move out of their comfort zones. Of course, some people need or want to remain in comfort zones for many years or even their entire lives. It doesn’t sound to me like OP is one of those, but that s/he just needs a little bit of reassurance that it will indeed be ok to go.
If you are thinking about visits and such…my D does come home for Thanksgiving break. It officially starts the Wed before but lots of profs cancel those classes so you could fly earlier if you can determine that ahead of time. That flight is expensive…super busy travel time and you don’t have much date flexibility, but it’s doable. Being home Wed-Fri and leaving Sunday morning isn’t bad.
LMU’s family weekend is in February instead of fall, which I think many other schools do a fall family weekend. That initial stretch between starting school in August and coming home (hopefully) for Thanksgiving does feel long, and it’s a transition time for the student and the family! Depending on where your home is, I’m not sure that your visits home will be any more or less frequent between the two schools…it really depends on you! I think many kids like the idea of being closer to home, thinking they can get there easily, but end up just coming home on the school breaks. That said, CA is far…the time difference matters with communication home, and you can’t really come home for a weekend.
But your message only talks about fitting in with the students, which in our experience has not been a problem. I’ve visited several times including family weekend and our experiences have all been very positive and friendly.
Me, again. Let me add a bit of practical advice. Since your primary concern is fit, look up the list of clubs and organizations at LMU. Then check out the webpages of the clubs that interest you and get a sense of their vibe. Read the school papers — they are online. What issues concern students on campus? If you read the lifestyle and humor sections, you’ll get a sense of the scene in terms of what themes resonate for humor, books, movies, shows, restaurants, day trips, etc. Similarly, what are the LMU students writing about themselves? Google “top 10 reasons to go to LMU,” best professors at LMU, best or most fun classes at LMU. Do your research and find out what cohorts of students exist, how they spend their times, and what the prioritize. Gotta get beyond the shiny glossy pamphlet pics. Good luck!!