<p>I must admit that my daughter has listened carefully to us and been absolutely wonderful about the college search process. We told her early on that she wouldn't qualify for financial aid because DH and I have too many assets which are not in retirement accounts but which will be used for retirement. We also had set aside college accounts (some 529 and some UGMA) for DS and DD long ago which have enough money to fund four years of college. We also told both kids that anything left over in those accounts is theirs for graduate school or anything else they might need. So both kids had incentive to find scholarships and apply for merit aid. </p>
<p>But what DD has done is to keep an open mind on colleges. She has a final list of 6 including an acceptance from Tulane with a considerable scholarship. But she refuses to rank the 6 (although there are 2 that are on the bottom) and the final decision will be made on a combination of the financial and academic sides. Namely, she doesn't have a favorite but would be happy going to any of the schools. I'm really proud of her.</p>
<p>And hopefully, you've told her that and to go one better as I've recently found out, write her a letter saying it.</p>
<p>A long time ago when my daughter was a junior in HS, we had been going through a rough patch (mostly because she was 17), but she had just managed to overcome some pretty tough obstacles. I knew she wouldn't listen to me or rather, she'd think I was only saying things because i was her parent, so I wrote her a letter. Then, about 2-3 months ago, she called me up and said thank you. She had been going through some of her things and came upon this letter and she was just so grateful to have it and it reminded her of all the things she is capable of achieving. Also, I have a letter from my Father he wrote shortly before I got married for the second time. He died two weeks after that and in his saying how proud he was in the woman I had become, I am forever thankful to have those words to read anytime. </p>
<p>I am just saying.. a lot of times we tell others of our kids' accomplishments or what we're proud of without it being made clear to our children that we think it. We are often so busy telling them to pick up their rooms, empty the dishwasher and oh yeah, that A is great that we forget that the very positive stuff can get mixed up with the other to not hold nearly as much weight as it should.</p>
<p>Wow..thanks Modadunn! Great suggestion and it's true. I still have a letter that my father wrote to me before he went into surgery (bypass in 1971) about how proud he was that I help take care of my brother...etc..etc...I was 13. He was not able to have the surgery and had a heart attack and died on the way home...but I still have that letter and occasionally I get it out and look at it. Sweet memories.</p>
<p>I wrote a letter to each of my S's on their first birthday telling them how much their first year of life had meant to me. I put it inside their Baby Books. They have never seen them. At 19 and (almost) 22, I'm not sure they would appreciate them just yet but I know they will in the future.</p>
<p>laxmom, my Dad also died of a heart attack (in the hospital). I was 12. Cherish your letter. I wish I had one.</p>
<p>I kept a journal of when I was pregnant with each kid and then have written them a letter every year for their birthdays. When one of them is about to have their first child I will give it to them. There is no way anyone can appreciate how deep that loves goes until they have a child themselves. </p>
<p>Also.. the internet gives us less reason to put pen to paper. I LOVE my father's handwriting. Truly. It has such a slant and long narrow letters. A person's handwriting is very personal. So I think as time goes on handwritten letters are going to be even more and more valued.</p>
<p>My Dad died at 52. He had surgery and less than 48 hours later, his heart just stopped. not a heart attack per say but it felt the same.</p>