This summer was supposed to be the most important one because i was supposed to pick where i wanted to go to college.I am fortunate enough to have the chance to pick where i want to study. I was unsure weather I should choose the college in my town or in the capital city.After a lot of deliberation and long nights,i decided to stay in my home town,but when I see all my friends choosing their future apartments and getting all excited to live together and study where they’ve always wanted,I don’t feel at ease.I feel like I’ve made the wrong decision because fear took over,made me choose what was easier,what was simple,what was comftorable,and with every passing day I keep saying to myself “You made a mistake”.What can i do to get some peace of mind,because honestly I feel sad,I feel disappointed with myself for ruining the first major decission of my life.Any advice?
Make the most of the choice you made. Get involved. Join clubs. You’re going to meet a whole lot of new people. You can still have a great experience at the college you’ve chosen.
Will you be living on campus?
Wait, you made a decision on your own, and now you want to make a decision based on what others are doing for themselves?
Why is it your concern to do what other people are doing???
You made a decision that was right for you, correct?
I don’t see a problem?
It isn’t clear from your post whether you are a HS senior right now or have already graduated. Also, what country do you live in?
Sounds like a classic case of buyer’s remorse. Try to focus on all the reasons why you made the right choice, instead of the reasons why the other school may be better.
What is the source of your unease? Did you make the decision to stay in your hometown due to pragmatic reasons (like finances), and now are feeling wistful because your friends are going to where you really wanted to go? Or do you love the college you chose and chose it for a host of reasons, but now you’re just feeling a tinge of buyer’s remorse because of what your friends are doing?
One of the hardest things about adulthood is that you often have to make choices when you can’t predict the future. You’ll make many decisions, big and small, like this throughout your entire life. Feeling a little buyer’s remorse now doesn’t mean that you made a mistake or “ruined” the decision; even feeling like you should’ve done something differently a couple months down the line doesn’t mean you decided wrong. There are trade-offs to EVERY decision. Who knows - if you had decided to move away, maybe you would’ve looked on those friends who are staying home and making plans to continue hanging out and bonding wistfully. Maybe you’d get to college and miss your hometown and your family terribly. You can’t really know the difference between a little buyer’s remorse and/or FOMO and truly having made a mistake until you actually get started.
If you are seeing these friends getting ready on social media, one way to source some peace of mind is to reduce the amount of time you spend on social media - at the very least until you get started at school. Also, rather than watching those friends get ready - you can get ready for college yourself! Flip through your college’s course catalog and daydream about classes you’ll take; if you know a group of friends who are attending, chat with them; even go to the campus (since it’s close) and walk around to picture yourself at home there.
Well I graduated from high school,I am starting college in october and the reason why I don’t feel at ease is because a lot of people persuaded me into making my decision,pointed out the the “bad sides” of living in another city,and the responsibilities that come with it,making me believe in that moment that maybe it would be easier to just stay here and study and mainly focusing on studying.But at the end of the day,I won’t have my head up in the books all day,yes,we go to college to learn to study but we also live,and i want to explore new cities meet new people,and my small town doesn’t have those kind of opportunities.Change is good and i choose to be stagnant and now I’m regretting it.
I suppose you could transfer after one year or choose a different university for graduate school later. Staying in your hometown might be a good choice to reduce costs and allows you to concentrate on studies, especially during the important first year when transitioning from high school to college level classes. You can even visit your friends during the semester breaks and sample potential universities to transfer to next year ahead of time. Congratulations, staying at home the first year might end up being the better option. ps. I studied for undergrad close to my home, had great fun with old and new friends and went overseas for grad school, would do it the same way again anytime.
Did you choose because others persuaded you or because it was what you wanted at the time?
Also, what was the cost difference?
If you can core the two universities and give your stats + budget we could have ideas.
All in all, make the best of the situation and get the highest possible grades. Fet involved. Spend the full day on campus till all clubs and study groups are done - dont go home at 6 or 7.
There is a lot that you have not told us. I am guessing a bit therefore…
If your current college has a good program in your intended major or majors (many students have not picked a major when they start university), and if it is affordable, then I think that you can do very well right were you are.
Are you able to tell us the name of the college that you are currently attending? Are you starting pretty much now? Also, are you planning to live on campus or live at home? If you are living at home, is this important for financial reasons?
I know a few people who lived at home throughout their four undergraduate years, and saved a ton of money by doing so and ended up doing very well. I also know people who lived on campus even though they were only a few miles from home. Their experience was really not much different from students who were 3000 miles away from home, except that moving day was a whole lot easier for students who didn’t have to go as far.
@18collegegirl: If you are as easily influenced as your post #7 above suggests, then you made the right choice. You need another year of maturation before leaving home, in my opinion.
It’s normal to second guess a decision like this. It’s also normal to have “fear of missing out” when you look at others and see what they’re doing. Just try not to let yourself be overwhelmed by second guessing. There are many paths and everyone doesn’t have to take the same one. @DadTwoGirls asked a good question: are you living on campus or at home? If at home, then is it for financial reasons? If on campus, then you will be having a new experience even if you’re not far away. Look into doing a semester abroad later, or maybe a domestic exchange semester if your school offers one.