<p>Last semester, during a group project for a management class, I met a girl who was assigned to my group. She was really cool and I liked working with her a lot. The class soon came to an end, and I thought I wasn't going to see her again.</p>
<p>To my surprise, she showed up in my computer science class this semester. On the first day, she picked a seat next to me and we chatted for a good time before class got started. Very much a positive experience. We also chat a lot after class, too. We sometimes collaborate on homework assignments, talk to each either via Facebook, etc. Given that the semester is nearly midway through, and that she might not show up in any of my future classes (she's in the school of arts and sciences, while I am in the school of management), I think that I should "make my move" within the next few weeks, while relations remain solid, so that I can cement some sort of relationship with her, and be able to spend time with her without having to take classes with her.</p>
<p>She isn't terribly good looking (but she's cute in her own way, sporting a nerd chic that I always like), but given that I haven't liked a girl in a long time, I am willing to give pause and lower my standards for once. I am also fairly certain that she is single.</p>
<p>But, I've never asked a girl out before ever. How should I approach this? When is an appropriate time?</p>
<p>Lower your standards? That’s kind of haaarsh maaan :(</p>
<p>But to answer your question, have you guys had the chance to study together for any upcoming quizzes or exams? Ask her if she’d like to meet for coffee or lunch and study. From there, maybe ask her if she would like to hang out somewhere just for fun to take a break from academics.</p>
<p>Wow, the whole “she isn’t terribly good looking” thing threw me off. You could’ve said a million different things to convey the same feelings (ie: she’s not classically beautiful, but I still find her attractive). How would she feel if she knew you thought that about her? How can you date a girl who you’re not attracted to? It seems to me that you’re settling for this girl because she’s fun and cool and since you really WANT a relationship with someone you’re willing to go after any nice girl who gives you the time of day. Whatever though. Its your life. I’ll try to help.</p>
<p>You have to approach this very delicately. There are plenty of guys that I’m friendly with in classes and sit next to every period (just out of familiarity) that would completely catch me off guard if they tried to ask me out. Since you only hang out with her in a class setting (at least from what you’ve said in your post), then before jumping into asking her on a date, invite her to hang out casually outside of class. I know this will be frustrating, but start with something safe like a study date. You could ask her to grab lunch one day too, just be cool about it. Do you text her? At this point, you should be. My main piece of advice is this: during the course of this class focus on becoming FRIENDS with her. Not friendly acquaintances. Slowly but surely start building a friendship, so that by the time the class is over you won’t feel weird asking her to hang out. Develop inside jokes. Text her randomly saying funny/cute things that will make her smile. Don’t be overbearing, just be really chill about it. If you come off as a fun guy who’s not clingy or trying too hard then she’ll feel much more at ease around you, and same for you. I don’t know about her…but most girls would prefer to date someone that they’re already friends with, thats how most relationships start. So focus on REALLY getting to know her, even if it feels like thats already what you’re doing (because its not). Class friends do not equal REAL friends.</p>
<p>I am attracted to her. Poor wording on my part, sorry. It does come off as a bit harsh, I agree, but that’s not my intention at all. It’s just that I am more attracted to her character, not her looks, this time around.</p>
<p>Maybe you should be direct and to the point–tell her you like her! See where it goes from there, if she reciprocates those feelings you are good, if not, then its time to move on.</p>
<p>Eh… I am a very shy person when it comes to this sort of thing. I don’t want to come off as awkward and overly direct. And even if she doesn’t reciprocate these feelings, I am still content to be just friends.</p>
<p>awww…cute! Minus the “she isn’t terribly good looking” part–harsh! If I were here and knew that you said/thought like that that would be a major turn-off for me/hurt my feelings (?..who knows idgaf normally).</p>
<p>start out as friends see how that progresses…try flirting with her…when you feel comfortable ask her out to something casual like a movie/bowling/whatever then take a step forward after and see how it goes. Ask her out! Even if you’re gonna dump her after a week…jk.</p>
<p>but seriously, how can you date somebody you dont even find remotely attractive? weird.</p>
<p>even though i dont know you i feel like you should let this one slide by…or not take it too seriiously…sorry…im sure you dont wanna have ugly babies! jkjkjkjk…bad joke…my bad :b</p>
<p>She’s attractive in her own way and does sport a “cute” nerd chic. But, she isn’t hot or anything. She’s just cool. I am more attracted to her personality than her looks, and her personality does contribute to that nerd chic. </p>
<p>Excuse my comments in the original post, I do not really mean those words. I haven’t felt this way about a girl for a very long time, and I thought I was never going to meet someone I really genuinely liked on personality alone. Plus, I don’t know too many people on campus (and very few of my acquaintances are girls in particular).</p>
<p>I think part of being successful in terms of dealing/interacting with people is having the confidence to speak your mind. When I read your post it reminded me of myself. Hahah. If you can get over your mental block (ie shyness/nervousness) then you will have the balls to just talk and ask girls out on dates. its definitely hard to talk to people when you’re shy and introverted. </p>
<p>To be perfectly honest, if someone said they liked you, I’m sure you would be flattered and surprised (in a good way, of course). Its happened to me a few times, I never felt it was awkward, but I suppose it may be different for girls.</p>
<p>She would have let you known her single status if she was interested in you.
Stay study buddies and friends.
Wait until you meet your definition of a “hottie” before you ask them out.
Maybe she has some cute friends.</p>
<p>^^^ oh i see…then you definitely should give it a shot. Come up with something cute and ask her out…</p>
<p>^^ I normally would feel flattered and then say/think something like, “aww, how cute/sweet blah blah blah” if someone told me they liked me or if ifound out. So I guess she should say yes… good luck!</p>
<p>btw, how come you dont have any friends yet? im guessing you’re a sophormore…?? maybe you should join more clubs?</p>
<p>I commute to my school. Hence, most of my best acquaintances on campus tend to be people whom I have worked on group projects with. Or, they tend to be people who share common interests (for example, I’ve made friends out the people on campus who play video games like I do). </p>
<p>As for clubs, I just haven’t found the time. Plus, most of the club meetings take place at night, and I don’t have much incentive to go to them, since I often work after school and have chores to do at home as well. </p>
<p>I am starting my own club shortly, however.</p>
<p>^ haha don’t worry i’m sure in no time you’ll be making friends…it’s just going take a while i guess. Just try to put your best forward and try working on being more friendly and open so that it’s easier for you to make friends (e.g. that’s so cool! i’m from that state too then start talking about similar interests blah blah blah)…or maybe the kids at your school are really stuck up…i have no idea…BC sounds preppy</p>
<p>Bah, ignore the wording. I didn’t really intend it to be interpreted that way. It was more of a side comment. But, then again, why I did write that? </p>
<p>But true. If she says no, then I move on and await the next fish. If the next fish does arrive…</p>
<p>When you left, you know you told me
That some day you’d be returnin’
In a fancy car for all the town to see
Well now everyone is watching you
You finally had your dream
You’re ridin’, in a long black limousine</p>
<p>Right now she’s comfortable around you and trusts you. You’re a step up from most people. If you haven’t already ask her to grab a bite of lunch with you (and your friends if that will make you more comfortable if you don’t want to do it alone). Now after that do the movies or whatever it is that most people do at your school. Maybe invite her to your room to do HW or watch some tv.</p>
weird.</p>