I need help on my "Common App" Personal Essay!

Hello! I currently have a decent written draft of my personal essay but felt it needed some outside input on how I may improve how it sounds. Any advice that you could offer would be greatly appreciated! Please comment below or message me for the essay:D Thanks again!

Chosen Prompt: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

Do not post your essay or share it with brand new users with only a few posts. Choose very carefully with whom you share your hard work.

Yup. ^ Get a teacher or the like to review it. Not random Internet people. :slight_smile: Of course, no one’s stopping you, but take everything people say with a grain of salt.

I can look at it if you need someone.