I need help, parents

Parents Forum
1

<p>This will be a bit long, but I need a bit of wisdom here.</p>

<p>I am a student who applied to many schools last year, hearing the "Don't let cost force you into not applying here!" trap of admissions counselors, and "If you want to go here, we'll have the $$$ for you" trap of my parents. I had a choice of my in-state school that didn't offer my major, or an OOS school that was double the price, but was better overall and was strong in my major. I was a great student in HS, graduated with honors, AP scholar, took challenging classes, teachers loved me, played varsity sports, had many friends, etc. I'd post my stats but i'm sure after posting them some will think that i'm not all that great.</p>

<p>First semester is done and my grades are in. 2.78 GPA. I've never had below a 3.5 in High School and I go to college and get this, although mainly due to a D in a course I had my mind set on retaking after struggling with the first few exams. Still, take out the D and it's only a 3.2. I have not performed well at all. Scholarship renewal is a 3.0 by the end of the year, and while I believe I will get a 3.4, if I don't get a 3.0, I will lose my scholarship and be forced to transfer as I can't afford this school without a scholarship.</p>

<p>I'm sitting here over semester break thinking of enrolling at my local community college for the next semester. My parents advised me to take this route leaving HS, but I did not want to, as I wanted the college experience (which I love), wanted to meet new people, get away, and start a life. I feel like i've grown tremendously as an adult, becoming more responsibile and finally being able to get a hold on my life. However, as the tuition bills keep coming in, my family's financial situation becoming worse and worse, and parents nearing retirement, I feel guilty forcing them to pay nearly twice their EFC, when I can go to a CC for free. I don't know if being here and taking the same classes I can take at a CC in a better learning environment is in my best interest.</p>

<p>A little bit of information on my CC, it feeds two state universities that are well respected nationally, and has a guaranteed admissions program to one of them if you receive a 2.0, and a preferred admissions program to another state school if you receive a 3.4+. I have already researched possible transfer options as well, finding many OOS schools that will meet my need, have strong reputations, and that I have a good chance of gaining admittance into - if I work hard enough.</p>

<p>However, i'm already on a good path here. I have great oppurtunities. I've already been admitted to the programs and degrees I wish to pursue. If I transfer out, I will have to reapply for those programs and given my current grades, I don't know if i'll get back in. I have a scholarship, that if I transfer back into this school, I will lose. The school has a good name and will get me the job I desire. I have lots of friends, am having a good time, and have really gotten into the spirit of the school.</p>

<p>The question i'm asking you, and it's somewhat ironic because it's pertinent to the "featured thread" about safety schools and passing up that $$$, is whether or not I should give up the path i'm currently on, save $30,000, go to a CC, get better grades, and go to another school that will be able to help me more financially, as well as carry a better name on the degree? I know after reading that, you're saying "duh", but I really do love my school, I have great opportunities here, and transferring out throws al that away; my scholarships, my friends, my degree path, my admittance to programs. However, I could even transfer back to the current school, but I wouldn't be saving any money because of the scholarship I have and I would just have the GPA I received there continue, as my credits transfer over, not my GPA. </p>

<p>Please help, any advice would be greatly appreciated.</p>

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<p>Based on what you've posted, I don't see a reason for you to transfer. It seems that you have a good chance to retain your scholarship by getting the required gpa by the end of the year. It also seems that you're happy at the college, have friends, and are on track for the career/major of your choice.</p>

<p>It is not unusual for students to run into grade problems first semester of freshman year. This may be due to organizational problems, the temptations of partying, or it may be because this is the first time in your life that you've truly been academically challenged.</p>

<p>In addition, the type of studying that college requires is different than what most high schools require. Even many AP courses are taught in a way that puts less responsibility on the students than occurs in college. After all, AP courses also are full year classes that typically meet daily while the same material is is covered in a semester in college and the class may meet only 3 times a week for a weekly total of 3 hours. High school teachers basically usually predigest the AP material for students, but that doesn't occur in college.</p>

<p>Anyway, my advice is to go to your college counseling center and see what help they can give you. More than likely, they can offer you study skills help and insights about how best to handle the academic material. Believe me, many bright students use such services at their campus's counseling center.</p>

<p>If you run into major grade problems with a second semester course get tutoring immediately and also use the professor's office hours to find out what you can do to improve. </p>

<p>Incidentally, when I was in college, I had a similar experience as a freshman, except mine was worse: I ended up on academic probation. I ended up graduating on time with honors from that college, and eventually got my doctorate.</p>

3

<p>Though I'm not a parent, I concur with NSM. You're lucky to find a place you fit both socially and academically. Attend your school for the upcoming semester. Work to get the necessary GPA. Sometime before March (when most transfer apps are due), have a frank talk with your parents about finances. If it really is too much even with scholarship, start preparing for a transfer. If your parents are able and willing to pay for the school (with scholarship), it sounds like you would benefit from staying, but if you are really worried, you can always put out a few transfer apps to schools you like just to see what comes in terms of FA. Overall, though, you seem happy and capable of recovering from some very common academic stumbles. Good luck!</p>

4

<p>See if your college has "freshman forgiveness", i.e., allows you to take the class that you received a "D" in over again, and erases the bad grade for the grade you receive after taking the course again. Often colleges don't want to lose a scholarship student, and will work with you if you show promise, and have "learned" the lesson that college is different and harder than HS.</p>

5

<p>BE honest about why you got a D in that class--and don't make that mistake again.</p>

<p>A 2.78GPA is a very mild 'tippy' boat to be in. You absolutely will be able to right tha boat by yourself next semester and you should be able to end up with a 3.5+ by the time you graduate--if you put your head down and get cracking. </p>

<p>Don't down grade yourself to CC. I don't htink you will be able to adjust to CC after having experienced residential college.</p>

<p>Fight back and fight hard. If you love your college, it will be worth it.</p>

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<p>Stay where you are. A transfer is difficult in adjustment, planning, dealing with the "what if's". $$$ is an issue in nearly all familes & college is expensive. Work on your grades. Your education is a huge value to your future & YOU deserve YOUR utmost effort to achieve educational success - it also is a means of respecting the sacrifice you and your family are making. Going to a cc now, after time at the univ., is not likely to do anymore than save a few dollars (and in the grand scheme of things, not as much over the four years as you might think) & is likely to cause frustration & long term "what if" syndrome.</p>

<p>Transferring doesn't really save you 2 years of $$$ - it saves maybe one. Who knows if all units would transfer (typically you lose some). You still have to transfer after the cc so you'll have 2 years of expense to deal with. The scholarship is a great benefit. It is thoughtful of you to fell guilty about the $$$, but the reality is that it isn't that much when computed with what is already done, the scholarship & the final 2 years. In fact, keeping your scholarship could be a better deal if you compare it to cc and then no scholarship for 3&4. </p>

<p>Be sure your family knows that you recognize the sacrifices they have made. Also, consider other financial solutions like an on campus job to help bridge the gaps. There are also lots of other scholarship or grant opportunities that may be available, look around and see what you can find. And, let your folks know you appreciate them and their efforts on your behalf.</p>

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<p>Lots of good advice; I agree with it all. If yo can get a 3.2 not counting that D and can find a way to deal with the D, you shold be OK down the road.</p>

<p>My advice: you can do it! Just deal with that D one way or the other, then break your @@@ next semester and get that GPA over 3.0.</p>

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<p>I totally agree with the previous posters. It does sound like you can pull your grade up to where you can keep your scholarship. Given that and the fact that you love the school it does not seem as if this is the time to change to the community college. Make sure you are pro active about dealing with any grade problems early in the semester - tutoring etc. from the start. If at the end of 2nd semester your grades cause you to lose the scholarship you may not have a choice. Right now you do have a choice and if you leave you would proabably always have regrets and what ifs. Good luck whatever decision you make.</p>

9

<p>I would also check into the finaid office. There are often scholarships available to students beginning their soph year. You can also discuss your financial concerns with them - maybe something can be done. Also check into independent scholarships through fastweb.</p>

10

<p>I would say you will do well either way, unless saving $30,000/annually would really take your family out of an uncomfortable financial bind. In that case I'd go the CC route. Otherwise, just do what seems best to you.</p>

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<p>You stated your parents indicated they're willing to spend the money for you to attend this particular college so I don't think you should worry too much about their financial situation unless something has changed drastically for them. They've likely already done the budgeting and financial allocations to cover your education as well as their retirement. If this is a real concern of yours, discuss it with them.</p>

<p>I don't think you should consider throwing the towel in on this college just because of a poor grade in a single class in the first semester. In the scheme of things, assuming you manage the rest of your time there to avoid getting low grades like this (more studying, fewer classes at once, dropping/retaking if need be, etc.) as you go forward, this one grade won't be much of an impact. </p>

<p>It's not unusual to have to have an 'adjustment' mentally from HS GPA/grades to college GPA/grades. They don't equate. This is especially true if you were in engineering at a high-end school. If you're not, talk to some engineering majors and you'll probably feel pretty good about your GPA right now.</p>

<p>Regardless, I suggest discussing all of this with your parents.</p>

12

<p>I wanted to give you guys an update.</p>

<p>I really did read all of your advice thoroughly, taking it to heart. I really appreciate it.</p>

<p>I ended up staying at my school for this semester. I went over my problems last semester. 1) My classes were all back-to-back-to-back, I never got any studying done before tests. 2) I never knew how to prepare for exams. I figured I could get by with a couple hours of studying before the test. And 3) I put my social life ahead of my academic life. </p>

<p>My class schedule is less than demanding this semester. I've got 16 credits still, but they are generally easier classes. However, my test taking habits are changing drastically. I'm scoring better, preparing better, and getting higher scores. I also spaced out my classes. Last semester, my earliest class was 11:15. This semester, I start 8:00am everyday. My GPA for this semester will be above a 3.5, and i'm going to make the Dean's List. </p>

<p>I've also got an internship lined up for the fall. I'm very excited about this. Typically, Freshmen or even Sophomores aren't considered for internships, but I got it. This will help out in finances as it pays a stipend and I receive academic credit. It's through the school, so I can stay here and do the internship with schooling. I also have a part time job that will help in finances as well. And, my advisor said that scholarship renewal is in the fall - so I was able to keep that. </p>

<p>Grades are up, money is coming my way, and i'm building up the resume. While this may not be a completely happy ending, it is a step in the right direction.</p>

13

<p>wow,</p>

<p>I love it when parents/students come back to update.</p>

<p>Congratulations on turning things around and turning them around in a big way. I am glad it has worked itself out. Keep up the great work!!</p>

14

<p>Great job! Lots of freshmen experience the same thing you did in their first semester. You were able to draw lessons from your mistakes and do well. Good of you to update us. I hope other students read your post.</p>

15

<p>Hey GUILTY,
Just wanted to add a virtual "pat on the back" for you. Awesome job on turning things around so quickly!</p>

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<p>I didn't see this thread when it first began, but I'm glad I eventually saw it - especially since you've provided a happy ending. I hope other students, particularly high school seniors, see this.</p>

<p>What you experienced is not unusual for college freshman, and so it would have been a shame for you to give up before you had really begun to hit your academic stride. Getting As in college is never as easy as getting them in high school, but freshman have the added difficulties of being away from home, of having to manage time better, and of the distractions of residential life.</p>

<p>Bravo, Guilty, for taking charge!</p>

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<p>Yeah! Way to go!! Congratulations on the Internship!</p>

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<p>Add me to the list of virtual back-patters! Congratulations for sticking it out. I remember how awful it felt to get low grades freshman year. I was on the "wrong" Dean's list that year. Sophomore year I was on the right one. Like you, I had to learn how to study, take exams, balance my time, etc. Unlike you, I didn't have the pressure of maintaining my grades to keep a scholarship. Good for you for turning it around so quickly. I always tell kids that college is very different from high school. The editor of our local school paper wanted to be a journalist. He failed his freshman English class first semester of college ... instead of rising to the challenge, he gave up on his dream. Your decision to do what it took to keep your dream alive shows that you will be a success in life.</p>

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<p>Way to go! It's tough to be introspective and see where you need to change. To have done it and have made the changed deserves huge kudos, especially from someone so young. Many adults haven't mastered this. Good luck to you and I know that this experience will serve you well the rest of your life!</p>

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<p>WAY TO GO GUILTY!!! just read this thread, and would've said stay with your school! see what drive and desire does! keep up the good work! :)</p>