I NEED HELP!! PERSONAL STATEMENT is TOO PERSONAL??

<p>I really need help in my essay prompt topics. I've tried brainstorming but I'm scared the topics aren't good enough.
For the 2nd UC personal statement prompt, "Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?" .</p>

<p>I was thinking about my junior year, and how my gpa dropped the first semester because of personal hardships, but it may be too personal. But it is the only obstacle that really changed my life and I have learned so much from it. </p>

<p>Basically my hardship was that I went through sexual abuse.. for some time of my life. I know that some people may say that its too personal and it could cause pity, but its the most significant even that I experienced, affecting the person I am today. I dont know how to put it into words for my essay, and I would want to put it in words as discreet as possible.</p>

<p>if its important to you, then write about it. but only if you are comfortable. </p>

<p>an experience like that doesn’t have to be shared unless you want to.
and if you are, then it would be a good idea to expand on what you learned and how you’ve grown as a result. you don’t have to victimize yourself, and neither do i think you want to. </p>

<p>don’t worry about it being too personal. i agree it can be if you handle it like a pity story. but if it really important to you and you grew as a result, that will show and they will appreciate it. </p>

<p>do be ready to have something else to write about it this doesn’t work out.</p>

<p>Thank you so much. I just don’t want it to be a typical story that the admissions board looks at because I want to show them I overcame these hardships. But i do feel that many people go through this. I want them to know me as a person, but I need help in putting this story into words…</p>

<p>First of all: you have my condolences for everything you’ve gone through.</p>

<p>If you believe you can talk about how overcoming this has made you a better person, then absolutely write about it. Pour your soul out. If you think you can’t do it effectively, that’s okay too—it’s a very hard topic to express in words.</p>

<p>I wish you the best with your essay and invite you to submit it to my [proofreading</a> queue](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-essays/1561340-need-essay-critic-look-no-further.html]proofreading”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-essays/1561340-need-essay-critic-look-no-further.html) when you’re finished with it.</p>

<p>As someone who has suffered through something similar, I would urge you to write about this and run it through several people if you feel comfortable to ensure that it sounds like an example where you overcame an extreme hardship rather than a story for pity.
I would be happy to look over it if you’re interested. Feel free to PM me, and best of luck. I truly mean that.</p>

<p>I would not write about this. I don’t think it addresses the prompt. If you read the prompt, they are looking for you to talk about positive qualities that you possess. They are handing you an opportunity to show yourself off to advantage. This is not the place to explain hardship necessarily (although I concede it could be managed, like being proud of being a survivor) and especially not the place to explain drop in gpa. I think to treat this prompt otherwise misses an opportunity to promote yourself as a great candidate.</p>

<p>Having said that, this background story does fit as PART of prompt #1. It is very difficult subject matter. I’m not sure you should write about it or not. If you want to write about it. I would try to put it simply. And focus on how you managed in spite of trauma. I would not make the entire essay about that, you need to also convey all the parts of your life that are relevant and what type of person you are today. And the essay can’t be this huge serving of bummer.</p>

<p>I agree with BrownParent. Your hardship can be meniton in your first prompt. Second prompt what we really looking for is postive qualities that you have. It is really sad that a lot of great students had excellent grades and SAT/ACT scores with great leadership (they worked so hard for this). And then they flunk the PS, and we have to reject them. Don’t make this mistake.</p>

<p>Thank you BrownParent, RadaVonvon, Dixie39, and Bruins Ar. It does seem logical to write it in my 1st prompt instead of my 2nd. and I would love it if you guys will still help me through out this process. </p>

<p>I’d like to tell you my story. I was always confused… I wasn’t completely aware of what was going on. I was naive. I didnt have a voice to speak out to stop it all. it was the beginning of my junior year. I finally put a stop to it by telling someone. It was difficult for me to tell someone this because I felt like no one would understand because most people I know do not go through this and I still feel like I dont have anyone to go to still, but it was because of the love and support from my carings friends and my lovely parents and older sister. If I didn’t express my feelings and thoughts, I think I would have become seriously depressed, but I was able to go to school and put a smile on my face. I never wanted to be home. I went to the library everyday or at least most days of the week that my dad would take me to do my homework and studying. Plus I was juggling with being in the varsity volleyball team but school and sports helped me through out it all because it took my mind off everything. I wasn’t worrying about my problems or thinking negative thoughts. After it all, I found the ability to smile and laugh. I was able to be happy again. And I’m glad I didn’t head into deep depression, although I do l think back and feel sad.</p>