i need help please

<p>Hello. i am taking the SAT in October and i am currently preparing for it. i wanted to get someone else's opinion on this essay i wrote and this is the best place to do it. so the topic is :
Is it really impossible to fail? are some failures unsuccessful attempts to accomplish what we set out to do, or do all failures ultimately provide some benefit, even if we can't see it right away?.
And here's what i wrote:</p>

<p>In my personal point of view, failure is possible only when we stop trying. they say that failure is the first step of success, when i believe that failure happens only if we stop trying to succeed or when we accept the unsuccessful attempts we encounter </p>

<p>Take for example the African American Civil Right Movement lead by the mighty Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Louise McCauley Parks at his side. Many before them tried to end the racial segregation once and for all, people such as Irene Morgan and Sarah Louise Key, and they didn't succeed due to the strongly corrupt mentality at that time. in fact, they failed. Why? because they simply stopped trying to change the mentality and gave up, forgetting the purpose of their movement. But, Martin luther king jr. and rosa parks were determined to make a difference. although they encountered many rough patches, trails, and tribulations throughout, but they didnt allow any negative encounter or situation to stop them. with their determination to succeed and the African American society's best interest at heart, look at the result of their works now. </p>

<p>another scenario that i personally believe is the lead example of determination and success is Helen Keller. she is an author, lecturer, and a political activist. let's not forget that she is both: deaf and blind. so many people believed that she will never make it and she will fail at everything she does due to her conditions, but she never allowed her situations to stand in the way of her firmness and success. although she had an extremely hard time with unsuccesful attempts and nearly everything, however she never called them "failures" she twisted the situations to her benefits and made these unsuccessful attempts be the gasoline to her fire and her determination. and no matter how hard she fell, every time she would rise with stronger determination and harder firmness of purpose and mind.</p>

<p>We only fail when we stop trying to succeed. failure is never the first step of success, because in order to succeed we not only have to try once and twice, we have to try a hundred times if we have to and failure is when we stop trying. it is when we lose our determination to what we set out to do and lose the passion to our purpose and our wants that we fail. we make failure possible, and we make it impossible too, it solely depends on us. </p>

<p>NOTE: PLEASE GRADE MY ESSAY ON A SCALE OF 0 TO 12.
Thank you so much.</p>

<p>just take it to your teacher. </p>

<p>8</p>

<p>Hey, I am just starting out but it looks really good. I think it should be a 10</p>

<p>Too many grammar errors, I don’t see any thesis, seems too casual, no topic sentence, contractions, and you didn’t really convince me IMO. I’ll give you a 5~6</p>

<p>and transitions </p>